Who The Fxck Is Jack Barakat?!

Part 28

*five months later*

Around half a year has passed since the incident with Jack and I've been doing a lot better than I would have expected to be honest. My self-pity started to vanish completely shortly after the daft night where I learned about the truth, the only problem was that it quickly turned into bitterness and rage towards him. But eventually I decided to get over it and forget about the whole situation that I first believed to have destroyed every bit of pride I had left. Because, after all, I'm still here, probably stronger than ever. I know now that I have to stop blaming myself for everything that goes wrong in my life, all I need to do is to focus on whatever I can do to improve it. I mean, sure, I could have kept on concentrating on the delicate topic but that cunt wasn't worth it, instead I simply used my newly gained self-confidence to finally achieve something I can be proud of.

Jack has tried to contact me until around two months after the concert but I didn't and I still don't want to talk to him so he luckily gave up as soon as he noticed that it would be quite foolish to bother me any longer. Funny how now that he's lost me he is or at least was keen on getting me back, he should have thought about that before setting up the whole lie. If you lose my confidence, it takes an awful lot to earn it again.

My friends reacted differently to the news that I went out with a guitarist guy from some unimportant band. First there was Kaitlyn, All Time Low's No. 1 fan. She thought I was kidding or trying to trick her for some TV show but considering that I was straight-faced and dead serious about the things that happened, it was only a matter of time until she believed me (a few pictures of him and me were certainly useful, too). She promised me she would stop listening to them to fight the injustice I'd been a part of but who would I be to forbid her listening to her favourite band just because I had some trouble with one of their members? In the end we agreed that all she should do would be avoiding talking about them as often as she could.

Then there was Jordan who wasn't surprised at all that I started dating Jack. According to him, it was obvious that I'd end up with a band member some day. He stuck to the normal ways to help someone get over a relationship (his brother works at Ben & Jerry's, do I need to say more?) because he knew that it would be better to let it be, turns out it really was.

And finally Mark's band mates who have become something similar to my brothers over the past few years which is probably the reason for their reaction. Just like Mark, they offered me to kill Jack but I kindly rejected them. Good to know though who I'll need to call if I ever have to hide a dead body!

Speaking of Mark's band, they have been a big support for me over the last couple of months. As they got signed to Hopeless, they were finally able to start working on their debut album in the studio and they asked me to help them out whenever I could. Partly because they really needed help, partly because they wanted to get me distracted. We spent every free minute we had recording the album and the boys have outreached everything that they've done so far. Although they had already written all of the songs before we'd hit the studio, we could constantly improve them until we were happy with them. Hopeless luckily didn't interfere, they had faith in us and they wanted us to stay true to our roots because that's apparently the secret to success. They believe that Riots At Night could grow to be one of the best bands this world has ever seen and of course we were stoked to hear that from a label many of our favourite bands are involved with. I don't even care about how many bands they had probably promised the same things before.

Personally, I'll be officially credited for some guitar parts on the album as well as backing vocals in a few tracks (although my singing voice really isn't the best) and I might be able to join my friends on tour for a few shows in our area. We were told that a huge tour with three other bands plus us was in the planning some weeks ago, the only problem is that we neither know where we'll play nor who those other bands are, only the time span is certain. But we do know we will be told the other details in a few days so the ticket sale can start shortly after.

Alongside helping with the healing process from the breakup or however you'd like to call it, all the work with my brother's band has reminded me of how much I missed being able to make music with my friends. I'd been living in England for a year after finishing high school and I had a band myself there, we weren't able to be as ambitious as Mark and company because we'd all just started university but we had a damn good time together. We got to play a couple of shows around the country in our holidays but the highlight was being upgraded on a small festival bill where we did a show in front of about 200-300 kids. I know this number is ridiculous in comparison to the shows Riots At Night will play but it's everything for a band that only existed for roughly a year.

Anyway, this pretty much sums up what I've been up to the past few months and I can't wait to see what the future holds for our band. Even though I guess I should stop calling it our band, considering that I'm technically not even an official member. Maybe a touring member and No. 2 fan after Noah's mum.

So this is where I'm standing right now and I hope my life is about to change for the best, especially because of all of the shit I've been through. I'm finally determined to reach for the stars and to take my fate into my own hands. I won't let anyone walk all over me ever again, this chapter belongs to the past. I'll be the best me I can be, a me I can be proud of. Fingers crossed.