Secrets

Can't Fight These Feelings

      The first two weeks of filming were really quite scary for Cate and I. Yes we have both starred in previous movies, but I think we both felt the same way about this one. It was the most intense romance movie I have ever done. I can't speak for Cate, but I could tell she was thinking the same thing. Each morning we would go to get our hair and makeup done for whatever few scenes we were shooting that day. I would find myself looking over at Cate as she was having her makeup and hair done. She was extremely beautiful. I then realized I was developing feelings for her. It was scary because I knew we had scenes in the movie where we would have sex. I didn't know how I would be able to handle it. To Cate this was just another role in a movie, but to me it felt like so much more.
      Honestly seeing Rooney on set everyday with her makeup and sweet outfits killed me. She looked so innocent but I knew from being around her off set that she was so much more. I tried so hard to keep my feelings hidden because they were scary in the sense that I had never felt this way...about another woman. I was married for Christ's sake! Rooney was much younger than me, but with each day on set together, my feelings for her grew more intense. After filming a scene where Therese comes over to Carol's house after returning her gloves, I had to leave set immediately. I couldn't let Rooney, Tod, or any of the other actors see my pain and vulnerability. I left the set as soon as possible and went back to my hotel. When I got to my room I undressed and ran myself a hot bath. I was in such a strange mood. Once in the bath I let the hot water run over my feet and I laid back and found myself suddenly aroused. I closed my eyes and before I could control myself, I was crying. I screamed out, "I need you Therese!" I finally realized that I was in love with Rooney.