Secrets

Coming Out (A Hidden Romance)

It was surprising to see Cate walk off set so quickly after filming. Usually she stays and talks to other people or waits for Sara Paulson (Abby) to get her makeup removed and change out of costume. Cate and Sarah were always together, but not in an exclusive way. In fact, they were like the mothers to everyone on set. I loved Sarah. She was so funny and amazing to work with. I had not really gotten that much time to even talk to Cate, other then the times we were running lines for the movie. But that was usually on set. On Saturday and Sunday we were off from filming. Tod had told us to relax and get ourselves prepared for more scenes on Monday. I decided to call Cate and see how she was doing because the last day we filmed together was the day she quickly left from the set. I remember when I tried calling her cell, it went straight to voicemail. I just thought maybe her phone had died. I tried calling again later that evening and when I did, her phone went straight to voicemail again. That's when I got worried because I knew she was always on her phone. Everyday on set while she was having her hair and makeup done she would be on her phone. I knew she was staying a few blocks from my hotel so I drove over to where she was staying and asked the front lady for Cate's room number. I rode the elevator up three floors and walked down the hall towards her room which was room 387. I knocked softly on the door. It cracked open and I saw Cate looking at me with red puffy eyes through the door. I said, "Oh I'm sorry I can come back if now isn't a good time." As I turned around and started to walk back down the hall I heard the latch click and the door open. When I turned back around I saw Cate standing in the open door with her arms out, tears streaming down her face. I didn't know what to do, part of me wanted to walk away and not let my emotions show, but the other half wanted desperately to run, fall into her arms and hold her tightly I feared if I didn't that I would never have been able to let her go. I stood there while her arms were still out, waiting to bring me into her warm and loving embrace. Then she said through her tears, "Therese save me." She fell to the floor and that is when I knew we both felt the same way. I ran to her and held her close, wiping her tears away and softly kissing her cheeks. When she looked up at me, I just then realized how beautiful she truly was. I got lost in her deep green eyes. We were both trembling. I had never felt this was about anyone, much less a girl. But Cate was no girl, she was a strong beautiful independent woman. She made me feel safe. We held each other closer and closer until we were cheek to cheek. I think at that exact moment we both realized that the strong feeling we had for one another was love. I leaned in and kissed Cate. She was so vulnerable, and all this time I thought she was just interested in making the movie and being done. Her hands were shaking and she said, "Please take me into the room." I lead her to the bed and shut the door behind us. I asked her where all these heavy feelings were suddenly coming from? "From the first moment I saw you on set and you smiled at me, I instantly had feelings for you. I was so afraid to say something but it got harder and harder to contain my emotions. So the day we filmed the scenes where Carol and Therese started their trip together, I guess my emotions took over me and I had to leave set. I couldn't let you or anyone else see my pain. I maybe think this movie is too much. I know I can't let these feelings I have for you interfere with it, but it is becoming harder and harder. I also know that you are here to make a movie and I don't want to ruin it for you. Please forgive me. I'm usually not like this. I hold myself together but this is so different. I..." I had cut her off and laid her back on the bed. I moved closer to her and Cate I could feel was still shaking. I held her tightly and kissed her beautiful blonde hair. Her mascara and eyeliner was smeared from her tears. I turned her head towards mine and our lips met. She was so beautiful. "I love you Cate."" She looked at me with her deep green eyes and fell back in my arms. We fell asleep close together. Our bodies up against each other's. She was warm and made me feel more alive than I'd ever felt before. I was so relieved because I had these feelings for Cate for a long time as well, but I was so happy that she had said it first. All this time I had thought she was strong and confident. I knew she still was, but for some reason I found her even more beautiful now that she let herself be vulnerable and show her true emotions. As she was sleeping and I was just about to fall asleep as well, I kissed her gently on her forehead and thanked her for helping me find my true self. I was in love with Cate and she was in love with me. This would make filming a lot easier...or so I thought.