"Hi Clay..."
I inhaled sharply. "Sir?" nanlalaki ang matang tanong ko. What the heck on Earth is this man doing here?
Nalukot ang mukha nito ng marinig ang sinabi ko. "Call me Kev..." He smiled a little. Oh no. "Or whatever name you want to call me. Wag lang Sir, parang napakatanda ko na kapag ganyan e."
"And besides," he added. "Wala naman na tayo sa school kaya ayos lang." I almost fell from the stool when he winked at me. Shiz. Kalma ka lang Clay, kalma lang. "Ilang taon ka na?" kapagkuwan ay tanong nito.
"20..." wala sa loob na sagot ko. Still caught by the spell that he casted when he smiled.
"20 ka lang pala, I'm 22. So wag na Sir, Kev nalang." Muli itong ngumiti pagkasabi niyon. Tila walang pakialam kahit na malapit na kong himatayin sa pagkakaupo ko dito.
I swallowed hard. Kev? He wants me to call him by his first name? Is this for real?
"Ok lang ba?" muli ay tanong nito.
Napapitlag ako. Sunod-sunod ang tangong ginawa ko bilang pagtugon dito. Baka magbago ng isip, sayang yung chance. "Kev..." I played the word in my mouth, bubbling it for how many times.
I really don't think that 'Kevin' or 'Kev' fits him properly. "I want to call you Rafael," I mumbled to myself. "Right, Rafael sounds so sexy and masculine."
"Rafael it is," I heard him say. His lips formed a lopsided smile. "Sexy huh?"
Pakiramdam ko ay umakyat lahat ng dugo sa katawan ko patungo sa ulo ko dahil sa huling sinabi niya. Did I say that aloud? Dem.
Tahimik na bumaling na lamang ako sa inuming nasa harapan ko at pinaglaruan ko ang rim ng baso, pilit kong iniignora ang presensya ng lalaki sa tabi ko. I took one sip after another. I heaved a sigh. But I really doubt na makakalma ako. Mukhang mapalapit pa lamang ako ng kahit kaunti sa binata ay nagwawala na ang senses niya.
"What was that for?"
"Sir? I mean, Rafael?" litong tanong ko. Huh? Anong 'what was that for?'
He chuckled. Tila agad na nabasa ang naglalaro sa isip ko. "Para saan kako yung buntunghininga na yon? You want to share it with me?"
Even the sound of his voice distracts me. Psh. Namumungay ang mga mata nito ng tumingin sakin. "I'm willing to listen."
I shrugged my shoulders. There's no way that I'm gonna tell him about my problem.
"What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be on the wake of your boyfriend?" kunot noong tanong nito.
Nagtatanong na mga mata ang isinagot ko sa kanya. "Boyfriend?"
Naningkit lamang ang mga mata nito. Nang matanto ko kung sino ang tinutukoy ng huli ay hindi ko naiwasang wag matawa. Bwisit ka talaga Claire.
"I can't...." I saw him winced a little with what I answered.. And then there was disbelief on his face.
"Why not?"
I shrugged once again. "Ganon talaga..." sabi ko habang nagpipigil ng tawa. I bet he would really be angry if he learns that it is PaulWalker Claire and I was talking about.
Tumahimik na lamang ito at hindi na nagkomento pa. That's very nice of him, really. Yung hindi pagtatanong kapag hindi gusto magsalita ng isang tao.
I shifted my position. This time I'm facing him. He looked so nice in his plain white shirt. And he's we aring a rugged pants. Too rugged for an engineer like him. "And besides," I said in a small voice. "He's not the reason why I'm here."
Lumingon ito. Damn him for having an expressive pair of eyes. "Really?"
I nodded. He looked back to his glass. Ilang saglit na katahimikan ang nangibabaw sa aming dalawa. Gusto ko sanang magtanong din kung bakit siya nandito kaso pinangunahan ako ng nararamdaman kong hiya.
"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?"
I fell silent for a moment. Bakit sa tuwina ay nahuhulaan nito ang nasa isip niya? "Kung gusto mo bang sabihin eh," tugon ko. Unti-unti na kong napapanatag sa presensiya. Nawawala na yung uneasiness na nararamdaman ko kanina.
Ilang saglit ang lumipas bago ito tumugon. "Broken hearted," bulong niya. Pagkatapos ay nagpakawala ng bahaw na tawa. Tawang sa palagay ko ay puno ng pait at sakit.
I wanted to hug him right there andthen. Wanting to ease the pain he might be feeling. "You want to talk about it Si---- I mean, Rafael?"
Natahimik siya. Tila tinitimbang kung dapat nga bang magkwento sa akin.
"The girl I was thinking of settling down with broke up with me all of a suden..." he said in almost a whisper. "She broke up with me without any explanations at all. And here I was, trying to figure out if I did something wrong."
"I tried to win her bac k... Don't think that I didn't. Pero wala e, ayaw nya na ata talaga. I saw her just this afternoon with someone."
My heart went out for him. I can almost feel his pain. Parang naki-kinita ko na ang itsura niya ng makita ang babaeng mahal na may kasamang iba.
"Tinanong mo ba sya kung bakit?" alanganing tanong ko. I'm literally lost for words.
He clenched his fist. "Hindi. Para saan pa? We've been together for how many years, pero tinapon niya lahat yun sa isang iglap."
I sensed the bitterness in his voice. Inisang lagok nito ang natitirang lamanng baso nito bago muling humingi sa bartender ng isang bote ng brandy. Napakunot ang noo ko. Nagbabalak ba itong magpakalango? Nanatili na lamang akong tahimik ng hindi na ito muling magsalita pa. Tahimik na lamang itong uminom, at paminsan-minsa'y nagpapakawala ng malalalim na buntunghininga.
And then there's this indescribable pain in my chest. As if seeing him suffer tears up the inside of me.
"Tell me, Clay," napaigtad ako ng muli siyang magsalita. "May kulang pa ba sakin?" puno ng sakit ang tinig nito ng itanong iyon.
"Oh hell," muli ay wika nito bago pa man ako makatugon. "Never mind answering that. My God, this is so gay." Tumingin ito sa akin bago marahang ngumiti. Ngiting ni hindi man lamang umabot sa mga mata nito. "Pasensya ka na."
"Siya ba si Charlotte?" I used all the strength that I have just to sound so casual. In his present state, pitty would not do him any good.
Rafael chuckled. Ikinibot nito ang labi bago sumagot. "So my hunch was right. Nakikinig ka nga kahapon." Pinasingkit nito ang mga mata, habang pilit din na pinapasigla ang aura ng mukha. "Don't you know that it's impolite to listen to other's conversation?"
Napahiyang yumuko ako. Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi ko. "I'm sorry..."
Ilang sandali akong nanatili ako sa ganong posisyon. Nakakahiya. Nahuli pala ako kahapon, di ko pa alam. Ah nakakahiya talaga!
Nagtaas ako ng mukha ng hindi siya tumugon. And in an instant, I felt something warm touched my lips. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa pagkagulat ng matanto ko kung ano ang mainit na bagay na dumapo sa labi ko.
I felt his lips moved against mine. At bago pa man ako makapag-react sa ginawa nito ay dagli na itong nakalayo.
His smile was so wide and there was, satisfaction? "Sweet..." He raised his hand and traced the contour of my lips. He smiled once more, this time sweeter. "So long that I've been dying to do that."
What?
What the hell is he talking about?
