Show Me the Light(COMPLETE)

"You cant love me"

Toby-

Nurses and Doctors fill the room as they perform CPR as Spencer's heart has stopped.

"No!" I shout banging my fists against the door as I watch them continue to perform CPR "Spencer!" I shout tears pouring down my face I can't lose her she needs to fight to live, She needs to come back to me.

~20 Minutes Later~
They'd told us that they we're able to re start Spencer's heart again and she's now awake.

I let all of our friends and Elijah and Lily  See her first "She's asking for you" Caleb tells me slinging an arm over Hanna's shoulder as everyone leaves.

I stride into the room looking at Spencer laying there on the bed looking at me with a pained expression "Toby..." She whispers a few tears rolling down her cheeks "How could you do this to yourself?" I hiss sitting down across from her "How could you try to overdose yourself? I understand that the pain that you're consumed with but I can't loose you Spencer" I say tears once again rolling down my cheeks "I-I couldn't do it anymore, It was all getting to much" She murmurs sighing closing her eyes "It's all too much, Living with the pain of not being able to save my sister..." She trails off opening her eyes looking back at me "If you ever feel like this again, Come to me Spencer I want to help you... Because I love you" She gives me a sad emotional smile "I love you too" I can't take this anymore, I need to kiss her. Standing up and walking towards her I gently kiss "Don't ever scare me like that again" She nods although it's still left me very unconvinced
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Spencer's now been staying with me for 2 Weeks and let's just say that I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

She's lost her love for everything, Although she's still working at the Hospital as normal.

All of our friends are constantly coming around checking on her, Trying to get her to come out with them.

But she's lost, That's what she is she's lost she can't find a reason to live no matter how much I try to show her that it's worth it.

I'm not enough to make her want to live and that's what kills me the most.
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"Alright Lily" I reluctantly mutter "Are you sure you don't want me to come down?" I ask her through the phone Line as I lean against the kitchen bench "No honestly she'll be okay" Lily says soothingly "Carla's a strong girl" I say with a smile "Just like her mother" Lily laughs softly "Love you Toby" She whispers and I notice Spencer walks into the kitchen "Love you too Lily wish Carla my bests"

Lily hangs up and I put my phone back into my pocket looking at my girlfriend with caution "What's wrong with Carla?" She asks softly pulling out a chair sitting at the kitchen bench "She's got a fever, I offered to head down their but Lilly and Elijah are with her"

Spencer shakes her head reluctantly looking at me with pain "They're you're family you should be there with them" I sigh running a hand through my hair "Carla means the absolute world to me but she's with her parents and I can't leave you alone-" Spencer cuts me off "Yes you can I'll be fine Toby" She says in a angered tone "No you won't, I'm not leaving you here alone" Spencer throws her hands in the air "Why?!" She shouts "Why not? I tried to overdose but that doesn't mean that you have to put off your life because of me!" She shouts tears streaming down her face "You shouldn't have saved me!" That breaks my heart, How could she even think that? "Why did you save me? I don't want to live anymore! Do you understand?! I can't do this anymore!" She shouts walking towards me right in front of me "I saved you because I didn't want to loose you!" I shout at her she backs up looking at me shocked "I love you! I couldn't loose you and I wanted to show you that you're life is worth living!" Spencer's mouth hangs open as she looks at me expressing my love for her "I-I am not the girl that you fell in love with" She says in a low tone clearing her throat "That girl that you met the day Carla was born" She hisses more tears continuing to fall down her gorgeous face "She's gone" Spencer whispers her eyes wide "Y-You can't love me" She mumbles walking away "I'm incapable of being loved"

We need some time apart, I love her so much but this is becoming way too much.
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