Soaring Passion

Chapter 9

You leaned back against TOP while you two were watching a movie at TOP's house. TOP refilled your glass as he kissed your forehead. After half an hour of watching and talking, suddenly his mouth moved across your parted lips in a gentle way. You leaned upward, wanting more of his mellow strength. His words resonated sweetly in your thoughts as you pressed against his body. You whimpered as his arms slipping tightly around you.

Snuggling your neck with light, provocative kisses, he growled. 'I can't live without you and heaven knows, I've been trying to avoid you.' He pulled away, his eyes confused with barely controlled desire.

You gave him a surprized look. 'Oppa...you... you were avoiding me?'

He exhaled while caressing your hair. 'I tried to tell myself that what I felt for you wouldn't last that long, maybe I was just attracted and that if I didn't see you, I'd forget you.' He chuckled. 'But the funny thing is I have been miserable being far away from you. Everytime I don't see you I miss your voice and not just that I miss everything about you.' He bent down and kissed your nose.

You were astonished by TOP's confession, and suddenly your old doubts bring up their ugly heads. Even as your heart developed with love for him, your thoughts escalated back to the past, crushing your delicate sense of self-confidence. You rose quickly from the couch and moved away from him.

'W-what... what is it?' TOP who was shocked by your move asked.

'O...oppa is... is this your other way of making me quit my job?' you asked as you looked at him with eyes wide open.

You wanted to take back your cruel words as soon as slip out of your mouth. TOP stood up and glared at you while you enveloped your arms around you, incapable of looking at him.

He asked roughly. 'So you don't want me around you?'

'I-I don't know...' your voice seemed doubtful and you hated your wavering. TOP had been trying to fire you for a long time so you didn't know whether to trust your heart or your suspicious mind. You stood there like an idiot as you whispered. 'Please... oppa I need time... time to think, I'm still so mixed up...'

He looked a little bit calmed. 'All right.' He nodded. 'Maybe you're tired...'

You nodded dumbly. 'Yeah... I think I should go home.'

Shortly after you got back to your condo, you lay in bed listening to Big Bang's songs. TOP walked you to your car at his house, he opened and said goodbye to you without making a move to touch you which hurt you even more. Was his saying that he cared for you so he could catch you off guard and make you quit your job or was he really telling you that truth and was he really falling for you?

You grunted and turned onto your stomach as you were asking why life was so complicated. You cursed Namkyu for turning you like this and cursed yourself for not being able to stop yourself from becoming so protective and suspicious person.

The next day came and you slept until noon and awakened weak and dejected. Somehow taking a bath helped you get through it then you stared at yourself in the mirror and realized how pale you look. There was a heavy, painful feeling in your chest as you put on your clothes. You asked yourself why couldn't you forget your past and just believe TOP without suspecting his actions.

You tied your smooth and long hair and put on a very light makeup because you wanted TOP to become aware of you. TOP made you feel attractive and more beautiful than you'd ever felt before. Anxiously, you picked up your coat and shoulder bag, eager to be at TOP's side.