Forbidden Love

Chapter 5

I get on the bus, I try not to look at anyone. This is terrible. I hold back my tears. I think of Tristan the whole way home. Why did he turn red? Was he really that angry? Does he have to hate me? Can't we at least be friends? Is that so wrong? Of course it is. In my world, boys and girls don't mix. Ever.

I stray away from thinking of Tristan only a couple times. Ember. Are we still friends? Does she hate me now, too? Is she scared to be caught with me? I won't find any answers to my questions until tomorrow so I focus on what's ahead.

One last question: Does the whole school already know my secret?

Home comes into view. The blue paint is already peeling off. Mom and Mother are waiting in the entryway when I enter. "How was school?" Mother asks silently.

I don't answer. I can't. If I open my mouth I'll cry. All I do is force a smile onto my face before I rush off to my room.

I just body slam my bed sinking my face right into a pillow. I let it out. I cry as much as I can. Will everyone hate me? My phone goes off. I was confused; I never get messages. I don't have many friends outside of Ember and she barely texts me. I grab my phone out of my bag. I check my message and I just cry harder. I was in a group chat with girls from my school.

Everyone was attacking me. They were calling me mean names. I keep crying, I can't take this. Why are people bullying me?

I shut my phone off as Mother walks into the room. She sighs sadly when she sees the tears on my face. Mother sits on the foot of my bed and Mom closes the door behind her. Mom comes to sit right next to me. I shift uncomfortably away from them. 

"What happened?" Mother says softly.

"Did you tell anyone?" Mom accused at the same time.

I sniff and hand Mom my phone. She unlocks it as Mother moves behind her to see. I let them read it. They are on my side and I know I can't go through it alone, and I know they will squeeze it out of me even if I didn't show them.

Mother starts to cry. Mom stares determined at the screen. "Why would they say this?" Mother moans.

"Why wouldn't they?" Mom retorts, "Our little girl has a problem."

"Lucille!" Mother yells, viciously grabbing a kleenex. She blows her nose. My role models continue fighting, completely forgetting I was there. Their words hurt me: "She is damaged!" I get up and leave to the bathroom for it is the only room with a lock.

I lock the door. I pace the floor; I still had tears rolling down my face. How could they say that about me? I can barely think straight anymore. My thoughts are going a mile a minute. Everything is running through my head. Tristan, Mom, Mother, Ember, Olivia, everyone at school, John. Are they all against me? Does everyone hate me? I start to get dizzy. I fall to the ground. My knees feel like they gave out on me. I sit against the wall. I hug my knees. I hear Mom and Mother rush to the bathroom. I hear them knocking on the door.

"Aspen! Open this door" Mother cries. I ignore her. I can't deal with them for my tears are still streaming down my face. Is everyone against me? Does everyone hate me? I'm thinking the same thing over and over again. Are they? Do they? I can her Mom and Mother still fighting outside the door.
My stomach hurts: I'm guilty. Fingers wrap around my heart and snakes slither through my organs, pushing and pulling them in the most uncomfortable directions. I crawl to the toilet and hurl my feelings into it. Mother calls again but I can't make out what she says. I feel something hit me. Black. All I see is black.