MorMor One Shots | Sherlock BBC

Cigarettes

The balcony door was open widely, so the chilly night air filled the bedroom together with the distant sounds of cars and pub music. London never slept.
Sebastian lay on his back and stared up to the ceiling. He tried to avoid looking at Jim who was sitting on the bed frame, looking outside. Sebastian could see the crawlies on his back and arms.
When he reached over the bed for a pack of cigarettes his head started to spin. Sebastian could still feel the alcohol pumping through his veins.
You never wanted to let this happen again.
Both their clothes were scattered on the bedroom floor. Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment.

The wall felt cold in his back when Jim pinned him against it.
Jim’s eyes were dark, without emotions, but his gaze flickered over the snipers features.
“Look at me.” he commanded.
Sebastian did as he was told. Jim came even closer and put a hand around his neck.
“You belong to me now.” he whispered.
Sebastian’s hands worked their way up to the other man’s face. The kiss was quick and tasted of tequila and cigarette smoke.
When Sebastian unbuttoned Jim’s shirt his hands were shaking so much that he ripped off two buttons.
“Moran! That’s Armani.” Jim growled. Then he gripped the seam of Sebastian’s shirt and pulled it over the snipers head, letting his fingers brush his chest.

Sebastian’s hands were still shaking when he tried to light his cigarette. Damn. Three times of trying before the lighter worked. Finally he took a long drag and held it for a moment before he blew the smoke up to the ceiling.
Jim normally hated it when Sebastian smoked inside, but this time he didn’t say a word, he was just sitting there with his head in his hands, listening to the sound of the city.
Another long drag and the sniper started to cough heavily. Of course, he never stomached his addiction, a fact Jim regularly made fun of. With a swear Sebastian rolled over and dropped the burning cigarette into the empty tequila bottle which was standing next to the bed.
“These things will be the death of you one day.” Jim said without turning around.
Sebastian laughed joyless and started coughing again.
“Then you’ll have to find a new pastime.”
Finally Jim turned around and watched him lying back with furrowed brows.
“What’s the matter with you?”
Sebastian took a deep breath. The alcohol made his tongue light but his head heavy.
“I can’t do this anymore” he mouthed and covered his face with his hands.
“Go on” Jim said. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
“I just... can’t handle this. I’m not that cold, you know?” Sebastian still didn’t look at him.
“You can’t handle what?”
“What we do. What you do, Jim. You sleep with me and treat me like one of your gunmen the next day. What am I for you, a good shot and a fuck when you’re bored?”
He had expected Jim to be sarcastic but instead the other man just sighed. “You’re drunk.”
“So what!”
Now Jim raised an eyebrow. “And what would you expect, Basher? A romantic relationship? Do you think I’m looking for a boyfriend?”
“I’m sure you’re not.” Sebastian sat up furiously. Bad idea. The world started to spin around him and he suddenly felt sick. Oh god. He was too drunk even to have a proper discussion with his boss.
“You better lay down again.” Jim said unmoved. “I really don’t want you to throw up here.”
Sebastian let loose a sound of frustration and rolled over on his stomach. He hated himself for being so passive, for letting this happen again, for starting this discussion.
“Why am I drunk and you’re not?” he murmured into the pillow.
“Because I can control myself, Tiger.” Jim said patronizing.
“It’s all about control for you isn’t it?” Sebastian could feel the mattress sink in next to him and yawned when it moved his body. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and counted to ten.
Before he could speak again he felt Jim’s hand on his back. He kept himself from rising and let Jim’s fingers draw invisible lines on his back, constellations between the scars he had kept from jobs he didn’t want to remember.
“That was a grenade.” Sebastian murmured without opening his eyes. Jim’s touch gave him chills.
“I was lucky. It detonated a few steps behind me. I turned around in the right moment.”
“I’m glad you did. What a waste it would’ve been to ruin your pretty face.”
Sebastian smirked a bit, even though he didn’t want to and asked himself if that was Jim’s version of saying sorry.
“I bet you would’ve been sorry about that.”
“Move in with me.”
“What?” Now Sebastian sat up and regretted it immediately. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to fight the sickness.
“I shall what?”
“Move in here.” Jim seemed almost bored by explaining it. “You’re here all the time anyway. It’s logical.” He feasted his eyes on Sebastian’s astonished face and rose an eyebrow.
“That’s an order, Moran. Or are you afraid of me?” he asked with a little smirk and leaned over to his sniper.
“Yes, a little.” Sebastian had to grin. “You’re serious about that?”
“Do you see me joking, Tiger?” Jim asked harshly, but softened his words by running his fingers through the snipers hair.
“I’m always serious.”