5 Years Is Nothing.. --Harry Styles Fanfiction--

Chapter Thirty Eight- Within My Reach.

I woke up drenched in my own sweat. Yet, I was shivering erraticly. I sat up and ran my hands over my neck no longer feeling the tight belt wrapped around it. When I looked down at my arm, the cigarette burn was gone. And I wasn't in my dress from the funeral. Because there was no funeral. There was no cigarette burn, and I didn't try to hang myself.

"Louis?" I called throughout the hotel room as I stood up. I looked around and the sun spilled through the glass doors of the balcony. And music played lightly throughout the room. I heard shuffling before footsteps followed and Louis appeared in the room.

"Hey! You're finally awake. The boys are down at the hospital. Harry woke up." My heart began to beat and it felt as though my whole body was washed over with relief.

"Are we going?" I questioned as I pulled my hair back.

"Yeah. If you wanna get ready we can go then." He smiled at me and wrapped me in a tight hug.

I left Louis' room and headed down the hallway into mine. I swiped my key and headed into the dark room. I opened the blinds and began to rummage through my mess of a suitcase. Chills shot down my spine as I saw my belt laying at the bottom of my bag. The dream I had was so vivid. I felt everything. Every ounce of pain, and I remember it perfectly. I remember the aching in my throat, I remembered the burning flesh from the cigarette. And I remember kissing Harry's cold dead body. I'd never felt so much pain in my entire life. Tears escaped my tired eyes as every detail flooded my already cluttered brain.

"Don't do it." I remembered Harry sitting on the bed, looking at me with hurt eyes. He was so disappointed in me. I couldn't get rid of the horrible feeling it gave me. I needed to see him. I needed him to hug me and tell me he was okay. I was okay.

***

"He's not in ICU anymore Zayn just texted me his room number. Apparently he's doing okay." Louis went on and on as we stepped into the elevator.

"Do you think he hates me?" I turned to Louis and waited for his response. He almost looked hesitant.

"No." The sleek doors slid open and I rushed out. I had no clue what room number it was. Louis put his hand on my back and led me down the white hallways of the floor until we stood infront of a closed door. Niall's laugh was more than audible from the other side of the door and Liam and Zayn's bickering was audible as well.

"He doesn't hate you. The doctors said you were the first person he asked for." I looked at Louis with already tearful eyes. He reached for the door around me and I froze as everyone's talking stopped. There was still a curtain inbetween, until Niall pulled it that is.

"Hey, Al!" He reached for my shaking hand and pulled me into the large room. I looked to my left and looked to see Harry sitting up in bed. And he was staring directly at me.

"H-hi." Was all that came from my mouth.

"Let's go get dinner." Liam stood up and rushed the boys out of the room. I waited until I heard the door click shut then I returned my attention to Harry.

He said nothing.

"How are you feeling?" I questioned him as I sat on the edge of his bed.

"Well.. Uh, I can't exactly feel my legs.. And uh, my head really fucking hurts. And, I have a big ass scar on my side." I blinked away my tears of guilt as he went on.

"The nurses are really bitchy too. I hate this place." I put my hand on his in attempt to calm him.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you, Harry." I looked down at our hands and then back up at him.

"Why? I clearly deserved it." I dropped his hand looked into his eyes.

"You didn't deserve to nearly die, Harry. Why would you ever think something so awful?"

"Because. I clearly ruined your life. And I clearly made you angry by showing up at the party. I probably ruined your relationship with that kid. I fucked everything up for you. And in return, I got this." He gestured his cut up hands infront of him. I stood up and walked across the room with my back to him. I turned around quickly and unloaded on him.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Harry."

"Clearly not if you told me-"

"Forget what I said. I didn't mean that. But I mean it when I tell you that you are my life. Do you have any idea how I felt when I heard you were hurt? I have never in my life felt that way. I can't even describe how I felt. It was unreal. I dropped everything and waited here until they let me see you. I refused to leave. The things that were going through my head left me feeling sick. And for you to think you deserved it, just confuses me. Because you are everything to me. And I love you so much and I could never stand the thought of losing you." I put my hand on my forehead and tried to catch my breath.

"Come here." He gestured for me to come towards him. He pressed his palms down on his matress and somehow pulled himself over so that there was more space in the tiny bed.

I took off my purse and dropped it in the chair Zayn had been sitting in earlier. My body barely fit but we made it work. I crawled in next to him and gently rested my head on his chest. I felt him wince under my touch and my head immediately shot up.

"No, it's fine." He brought my head back down and kissed my head before wrapping his injured arms around me.

"I had a dream that I lost you." I said it before I could stop myself. "And I killed myself." I choked on the words that I never said before.

He shifted underneath me causing me to sit up. He reached for my chin and turned my head towards him.

"You won't ever lose me. I promise you. And if for some reason someday, I do end up dead.. Do not ever put yourself in danger. It won't help anyone. And I will be so disappointed in you. I love you to death, Alison." He brought my head to his chest again and wrapped our fingers around eachother.

We sat there in slience as the distant beeping of his I.V pole rung throughout the room. I finally felt safe. I finally felt like myself.

And he was finally within my reach again.