I’m lying in my bed and all a sudden my phone ring. I look at the phone to see who is calling me at 4 o’clock in the morning. It was David so I answer it, “Baby you know it is 4 in the morning right? What is the problem?” He starts crying. I’m getting scared because I don’t know what’s going on. I started crying and said, “Baby what is wrong? You’re scaring me now. Tell me now David”! He just stayed quiet then said, “It’s my dad. He just died.” “How do you know that? You never met your dad. Who told you”? I start thinking about twenty million things. What if that was my dad? Would I cry? Would I be sad? Would I have any feelings? Then I said, “Baby I’m here for you.” “Thanks baby. This is how I found out. I don’t know how they got my number but my dad’s son Jonathan called me and told me he was my brother. Then he said that our dad died earlier today. Then he put his mom on the phone. She was talking about she know he haven’t been a father to me but she want me to come to his funeral”, David said with anger in his voice. We talked about if he was going, if he wanted me to go with him, and how he felt about how the first time he saw his dad was at his funeral. We talked until we fell asleep on the phone together. I had nightmare so bad that day. I thought what if something would happen to David before our daughter was born. But that was the beginning of my bad news of the day. I got up like I always do. Take 45 minutes to get out the bed because I was huge, find something I still could fit, go take a shower, brush my teeth, do my hair, and put on my clothes. But this morning was different. I didn’t hear anything but voices I didn’t know. So like the nosey person I am (I know being nosey isn’t good but I can’t help it) went to see what was going on. I didn’t see anything but blood on the floor in my mom’s room. I walk in and see her dead on the bed. She was lying in a puddle of her own blood. I just stopped breathing and then the paramedics came in and took me out the room. I couldn’t do anything but cry. She was the only parent I had. My brothers and sisters all had the same dad and he was in their lives. But what about me, I didn’t have a parent anymore. I’m 15 about to be 16 in a month and I lost half of my heart. I just wanted to kill myself but I couldn’t because I was pregnant with my first child and I wasn’t about to hurt my child. I went and grabbed my phone and called Tiffany, David, Jennifer, and Michael and told them what happened. Ten minutes later they were at my house and I was standing up outside. Tiffany said, “Where are your brothers and sisters”? “They are with their dad”, I said like I didn’t care. “Why didn’t you go with them? Why are you here?”, Jennifer asked. I didn’t say anything. Then everybody started looking at me so I said, “Because I hate that damn bastard and I wasn’t leaving Florida to go to damn Alabama.” Then they all just started hugging me and wiping my tears away. I was so confused. Why would God just take her away from me? I thought he loved me. They said that every Wednesday and Sunday at church. I was just so mad. She was my only parent. I don’t have anyone now. Who is going to be there when I need someone? Hold on where the hell am I going to stay? I walked seven blocks to the park and sat down and started back crying. Then my phone rung but I didn’t know the number. I was starting not to answer it but I did and said, “Who is this”? The voice on the other side said, “This Jake Mon. David just told us what happened. I’m so sorry for your lost. I was wondering if you wanted to come and stay with me. David is about to move out my mom house. He about to move in with me, I got a big enough room for you, David, and your daughter when she comes. David really wants you to. So, what do you say”? I didn’t know what to say. Should I move in with them? I would have the family I wanted for my baby. But what about the house I grew up in? I told him I would call him back after I call my family. I called everybody in my family and they asked the same thing, “Where are you going to stay? How is the baby?” I told all them, “I’m going to move in with my baby daddy and his brother. She is good, kicking my butt but good.” But then I had to ask the million dollar question. What to do with the house? I mean we owned the house. My brothers and sisters dad got all their stuff out if it. I got mines and my mom’s things. I got the kitchen stuff that I could use at Jake’s house. They all told me the same thing, “Sell it and Monica you keep all the money. Use it for your baby. We got the funeral don’t worry about it.” So that was what I did. I went to a realtor office to see how I would get the house on the market. I know I sound like an adult but I had to be. I was about to have a child. I couldn’t act like a child anymore; I had to be an adult about things now. I told him how many bedrooms and bathrooms it had. I answered every question he had for me. We decided to go to his dad’s funeral. It was 3 days before my mom’s. We went to Jackson, Mississippi for the funeral. When we got there everybody was crying but David. I knew why he wasn’t crying. I mean he didn’t know the man at all. The only thing he knew was that that was his dad. We went into the kitchen to meet his older brother Johnnie. He was tall, skinny, and dark skinned. He was a skinny version of David. I was creepy how much they looked alike. So then Johnnie said, “David I know you won’t just all of sudden start calling me your big brother because I mean we never met. I just want you to know I’m her for you, your girlfriend, and your child. I want to be in your life if you don’t mind. I want us to become close.” David just looked and started to cry. He said, “You’re my big brother. Just because we never met don’t mean I’m not going to call you my big brother. I love you man, we got the same blood flowing through our bodies.” They both started to cry and hugged eachother. I felt so warm inside. I wondered would it be like this when I meet my brothers or sisters on my dad’s side. It was not even a week after I talked to the realtor and he called me and said, “Ms. Brown I have some great news. We just sold your house for $24,000. When would you be back in Florida to get the money because the couple paid in cash?” My heart dropped. I couldn’t say anything. When I came back to reality I said, “In two days. I will meet you at your office.” Johnnie and David are looking at me like I’m crazy or something. I say, “What are yall looking at? But I have some good news.” Their looking like, “Are you going tell us or not”? I looked at them and said, “David you need to sit down before I tell you this.” David sat down at the table. Then I said, “I just got off the phone with the realtor and someone just bought my mom’s house.” “For how much, like 5,000 or something” said David? I looked off and then turned back to him and grabbed his hands. I said, “No they bought it for $24,000.” David almost passed out and I almost started laughing because his face was priceless. Then he got up and said, “I thought you said $24,000.” I start laughing and said, “Baby, I did say $24,000. You ain’t tripping.” He almost passed up aging. Then the baby kicked me like she was trying to say, “Aye lady, stop making my daddy almost pass out. She kicked me so hard; I almost punched David in his head. So it was the day we had to go back home. David told everybody bye and we got I the car to go to the airport. I was sad because as soon as we land I have 3 hours until I bury my mom. All the emotions I tried to hide came out. I was crying the whole flight back home. I thought I was just having another bad nightmare and when I wake up it would be not true. I had to come to reality, it wasn’t a bad nightmare it was real. My mom was murdered in her sleep and we was about to bury her. The only good thing was that I didn’t have to go through it alone. I had David, Tiffany, Jennifer, and Michael by my side. My mom said when I was 10 that she didn’t want us to wear black to her funeral because we were going to be hot. She smiled and said, “Wear white because I’m going to God and I’m going to be pure aging and white is pure.” I hated white because I got dirty so dang quick. I wore it because that was what my mom wanted. Everybody there had on all white. Jennifer blended in with her clothes. My cousins and I had to sing at my mom’s funeral. We sung her favorite song, “One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey ft. Boyz II Men.” I broke down at the end of the song because it was like we were singing it to her in Heaven. After we buried her we went to my aunt’s house for dinner. Then everybody asked me what I was going to name my baby. I said, “Deanna Renée Smith, after my mom.” I really broke down then. I said, “Now I can look at her and see my mom”. The killing part was that we buried my mom a week before my 16th birthday. I cried on my birthday so bad because my mom wasn’t there to celebrate it with me. David looked at me and held me so tight in his arms. I felt so safe in his arm. Then my day went from bad to worse because I heard a knock at the door. We were at David’s mom’s house so David went to open the door. When he opened up the door to see who it was and to my surprise it was Markus. I got up belly and all, walked over to the door and said, “What the hell do you want”? He said, “I just wanted to stop by and say happy birthday by the way where is your mom”? I wanted to punch him in his face because he knew my mom was dead. I said, “You bitch, you know my mom is dead. Why the hell do you have to be so heartless? You know what get the hell out and don’t ever come back”! I went back and sat down and started crying aging. David said, “Don’t let him make you cry. He is an asshole. He does things to hurt you. Stop crying please baby.” I stop crying and hug him and tell him I love him. So I have a month till I’m a high school sophomore. I thought this would be the best year of my life but I wasn’t. I lost my mom the summer before my so called “Best year of my life”. That messed it all the way up. The only good is that I have my wonderful little girl. That’s the only thing I’m looking forward to this school year. David is happy because he is going to be a high school junior and a father. He bought so much stuff for the baby. Diapers, wipes, booties, clothes, shoes, toys, and anything she would want. He changed so much in a couple of months. I’m so happy. My baby is going to have a real family unlike what we had growing up.
