100 Dreams

Dream 5

He's too close. Breathing too loud. Tapping his fingers, pretending like he's not invading all of my space. He smells toxic. He makes my skin crawl and my heart race into overdrive.

I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be here.

I don't want him to be here.

He's smiling and laughing under his breath. I can see his chest and back moving. His t-shirt sticks to him. He's covered with sweat and stench. I just want him to leave me alone.

My hands are shaking, and I'm holding my phone with enough force to snap it in two. But if I did, I'd just draw more attention from him. I don't know how he knows my name or how he found me. Again, and again, and again he finds me. It's like I'm running in circles: every turn I make brings me back to the exact place I was already in. Every time I stumble he's there to catch me, but I don't want him to touch me. Even the thought of it makes me shake without control. I need to leave now, and I know it. If I'm here too long, he'll take it the wrong way. He'll think I want him. He'll think I'm staying for him.

"Riley," he breathes into my ear, slithering behind me. I try to push him away but he sticks like chewed gum. There's no avoiding him. He's trying to grab ahold of my arms, and I'm trying to scream. He puts an unwelcomed hand over my mouth, and I gag. He's made up of nothing but disgust. I can feel his rotting breath on the back of my neck. It's too hot, too close, too far from the reality I want to believe in. I want nothing more than a world where I don't have to be scared to walk alone because of Him. He haunts me. A tortured soul inflicted pain on the innocents. His sweat drenched hand is slipping, and I already have a plan. His fingers are just barely above my mouth when I act. I jerk my head up enough to bite his fingers. I don't let go until I taste blood and I hear his pain. Then I take off running and screaming. I know I can't be far from people, but no one is coming to help me. It's just me and Him, and I have never been more scared.

He's coming straight for me. A shadow across the brick walls and tinted windows. A reflection in passing car mirrors. A man incapable of realizing how much harm he is inflicting. I'm screaming louder, harder. My vocal cords are shredded and pieced back together with nothing but the will to survive, to escape. My lungs are burning with the desire to disappear, to evaporate into the air, to fly away. He lingers back in the cover of the buildings, away from any line of vision except for mine. Then he sticks his arms into moonlight and I see the scars. As the light hits His skin, the veins begin to boil. The bones begin to bulge. My heart begins to break into billions of pieces. He's transforming. A reoccurring nightmare with different victims. The scream that leaves my throat is shrill enough to shatter the windows.

"What the hell Riley? It's 3:30 in the morning. What's going on?" JoAnne grumbles. Her entire demeanor changes from confused to alert when she sees me. I'm curled into a shaking, sobbing ball in the middle of my bed. For the first time since Dad died, she's alert of just how bad I'm doing. She doesn't say a word; she just lifts my comforter and climbs into bed beside me, pulling me into a hug. For the first time in forever, I feel safe. I fall asleep in her arms and don't have another dream that night.