100 Dreams

Dream 8

"Just fall in love with me again," I plead, "It doesn't even have to be real. I just need you to be here. I need you to comfort me. I need you to hold me. I need your touch. I need your warmth. Your strength. Your hope. Your trust. I need you here, like things used to be."

You just look at me and turn around.

"Just kiss me. Hold me in your arms and tell me everything will be okay. Tell me that tomorrow will be alright, and that the little bad things don't really matter. Miss me when I can't see you. Love me like you used to. Act like you still need me in your life. I'm here pouring my heart out to you. I've forgiven you for what happened. I've let it go like you asked, and yet you can't turn around to face me."

You just shake your head and stand in the same spot as before.

"I was there for you when no else was. I held you when your mom was sick. I let you cry on me at any time. I kept the volume on my phone all the way up at night so I could answer your calls if you ever needed me. I helped you tell your sister that your dog died. I loved you. I still do, and you left me. When things got rough, you turned your back on me. You walked away, and I let you. Now I'm back, begging you, take me back."

Your silence says more than words ever could.

"Do you just not love me anymore?"

"I never did," you whisper.

My heart drops to me knees.

"You were broken Riley. You had no one, so I stepped up. I held your hand through the easy things, but she started beating you. When you showed up with bruises, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. You told me not to worry about it. You told me it didn't hurt, that you were used to it. I liked you. I really did, but I wasn't prepared for anything like that. I had never expected us to even make it that long. I should have been there for you. I should have at least been there as a friend, but I wasn't. And now, now you're standing outside my front door on a Wednesday night, begging me to take you back when my girlfriend is asleep inside."

"You have a girlfriend?" I'm shaking. I'm laughing at myself and holding back tears at the same time. "Why am I surprised?"

"I don't know Riley, but I have to go. I'm sorry. Goodnight." You shut the door in my face, and I just stand there staring at it.

"Trent?"

I wish that was just a dream. I wish I could wake up and shake it all off. Out of mind, out of sight. Memories are much harder to forget. Dreams can slip your mind. You can forget them before you even wake up. Memories stick with you.