A World Together

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Logan

There are a number of things I bid farewell to when civilization ended. Walking down the street without having to look over your shoulder, meeting new people and not having to wonder if they want to kill you, sleeping with both eyes shut. The list dwindles down to simpler things like fresh food or watching TV. Most of these I know I'll never have again, but I suppose it was premature to assume that I would never play another game of poker.

When Rocket found a deck of cards she insisted that we play. We delved deeper into the casino until we found a private room with a poker table and plush chairs, a place clearly meant for high rollers. There's a bar too, but so far I've resisted the urge to see if it's stocked. We took the candles from the food court and scattered them around the room. There's just enough flickering light to see the cards. Instead of playing with chips though we decided to use whatever food we managed to find.

Surprisingly, Gale has won most of the rounds. Somehow his general facade translates into a proficient poker face. I think it's because even when he has a good hand he still manages to look timid. That, and he never bets high. I'm throwing down cookies and the most he's willing to bet is stale crackers.

Occasionally my gaze will stray from my cards and I find myself looking at Stella and thinking about how complicated things are. Trapped was a good way of describing it, because that's exactly how I feel. And there's nothing I can do about it, I can't even blame her. I was wondering before what she's done to make me place her above everyone else, but now I know it's nothing she's done. It's me. It's entirely my fault. I've projected the image of my daughter onto Stella and now I can't see past it. Am I trying to replace Anna? No, definitely not. The very idea is so horrible, yet, I can't deny that Stella fills a part of the void that Anna left.

Have I recruited Maisie for the same reason? Am I just torturing myself further by doing so? Thinking about it only exhausts me and I feel my eyes beginning to droop when Maisie clears her throat.

"We should play a game," she says, sitting up in her seat.

"We are playing a game," Stella says, and then drops her cards on the table with a sour look. "Although this one isn't very fun."

"No I mean another game," Maisie says, "like a game within a game."

Stella ignores her and instead leans over so that she can get a look at my cards. Since she was the only one who didn't know how to play when we started, I let her look. Although I'm fairly certain Maisie doesn't know how to play either, she insists that she does. Stella glances at the five cards on the table and then back at my hand. Then she slumps back into her seat with a sigh.

"What did you have in mind then?" Stella asks, turning her attention towards Maisie.

"In mind for what?" Maisie asks.

"A game?"

"Oh, right, well," Maisie says, "why don't we go around the table and name something we miss from back before the world ended."

"Ugh, that sounds like even less fun than poker," Stella says.

"I think it would be a good way for me to get to know everyone!" Maisie chirps.

During their squabble, someone's foot has begun to rub up against mine. I'm about to move away when I catch Rocket smiling slyly across from me. I hesitate but smile back as her foot begins to trail up my leg and towards my thigh. Rocket. Another relationship that only confuses me. Is flirting really the only thing she's interested in? She's made it abundantly clear that she isn't after anything serious, but sometimes I find her looking at me in a manner that suggests otherwise. Do I want something more? I have no idea. It would seem that the only stable relationship I have right now is with Gale.