How To Charm An Ice Queen

#4. Be Our Guest

Chapter 4

Be Our Guest

So there I was; green and gooey, with an angry chicken pecking at my booted feet for practically murdering her baby, and the queen of Hielor, the woman whose heart I was supposed to win over, was standing right in front of me.

And I hadn't said a coherent word since.

She tilted her head to the side, her sparkling blue mask doing very little to hide her amusement at my misfortune.

"This is the part where you bow," she informed me haughtily.

I hastily did so, trying not to offend. But, as luck would have it, a few drops of dumberry juice that had failed to be soaked up by my ruined tunic splattered onto her immaculate white dress and boots.

The look she gave me could have frozen an active volcano.

Nice going, Charming. Such a wonderful first impression.

I straightened and attempted to apologize when she held a hand to silence me. The frost in her icy blue gaze unrelenting.

"Be grateful you aren't a commoner," Only she could manage to look down on me despite my obvious advantage in height. "You would've been executed otherwise,"

Having said that, she adjusted her wig and walked out, leaving me gaping like fish.

Bloody hell!

What just happened?

The middle aged woman who had dragged me here in the first place came rushing through the door muttering to herself.

"Oh dear," she cried as she got a good look at me. "You'll definitely need a good scrubbing,"

Putting the box she'd carried on the table, she rolled up her sleeves and pushed an empty short barrel towards me.

"Your mute friend has gone to fetch you a change of clothes and he took your sister with him," she informed my, rummanging through her box. "Quite the commotion outside since some other poor dears had been in the way of that dratted 'berry blast'," she continued to mutter on about her idiot husband before she turned to me and shooed the chicken away.

"Now then boy," she said. "Remove your clothes so I can rub these oils on you. The green stain on you should cone off in a jiff,"

I backed away from her. "That really won't be necessary, ma'am,"

She placed her hands on her hips. "I'm a mother of five boys and a wife. Nothing I haven't seen before,"

This was not comforting in the least.

"Or do you want to go to the palace looking as green as a bull-troll?"

And this day just got worse.

***

"If it helps, this one girl got splattered head to toe and she was green all over,"

We had arrived at the palace and I was in too much of a bad mood to fawn over every detail we passed like Anabelle. She had resorted to try and cheer me up but after the trauma of being rubbed down with hot oils by an old hag and humiliating myself in front of the queen, I really couldn't bring myself to feel elated.

Especially since my hair couldn't be saved. It was still visibly green, as opposed to its once beautiful chestnut shade.

As a result, I had to wear one of Anabelle's ridiculous hats, a brown flat-topped fur hat with a raccoon tail at the back of it. Lorina had wisely kept silent. But my dearest sister didn't.