Decisions

Chapter 4

I run to the bathroom and hold my own hair back. How can I let mum see me with a hangover? After everything, she told me about waiting for the right time I just went and blatantly disobeyed her. I have completely broken her trust. I look down at the thin white robe I was wearing and begin to cry. I never wanted this. I feel so naked and alone. I curl up into a ball in the bathroom corner, as I place my head in my knees. How could something that was meant to be so beautiful, make me feel so dirty. I pull out my phone to see six missed calls from my mum, along with many messages. I can't even look at them without feeling guilty. The bathroom door cracks open and I see Aaron standing in the doorway. "You're such a lightweight." He says laughing at me assuming I'm upset because of the hangover. He walks over and sits next to me, placing his arm around my shoulders. "What am I going to do with you Beth, you drank so much last night." He begins to laugh and I try to join in, but it just sounds awkward and uncomfortable. I don't think he notices, though. "By the way, I booked the hotel for another night." I move away suddenly as I become scared of the thought of spending another night with him." "Babe?" he looks at me questioningly. "Sorry," I whisper looking up at him. "It's just... what is my mum is going to think of this whole situation. You know after what she went through." I begin to fiddle with my fingers. "Is that what you're worried about? We did nothing wrong Beth that's what people do when they love each other. Your mum didn't love the men she slept with, she was a... Look it was just different." He pulls me by my hand into a forced hug. I no longer felt safe in his arms. I pull out of the awkward embrace and tell him I need to use the bathroom, implying that he needed to leave. He walked out clearly hurt but I needed to be alone. I start reading through the texts from my mum, and I begin to realise there is no way she can know I spent the night with Aaron. So I ring Emma.

Emma: "Hey Bethany, everything okay?"

Bethany: "I spent the night with Aaron." I blurt the words they feel so unnatural on my tongue.

Emma: "No way!!! Bethany what if your mum finds out?"

Bethany: "That's actually what I am calling about. I need a cover story and fast."

Emma: "Just say you stayed the night at mine because it was closer to the restaurant and Aaron didn't feel up to driving. Then if she asks about the texts say you weren't getting them."

Bethany: "I don't know if I will be able to lie to my mum, though."

Emma: "It's okay I will ring her now and say you can't talk because you are sleeping. You come over now and stay until your hangover wears off and then I can drop you home."

Bethany: "Thank you, Emma." I sigh "What would I do without you."

Emma: "I don't know what would you?"

We both laugh as I hang up. I stand up to see my face in the bathroom mirror. There are wet mascara stains running down my face along with my hair being a mess. I walk out to see Aaron holding a pile of girls clothes. "I bought these for you," he says handing me the pile. "Thanks," I say awkwardly. I walk back to the bathroom to change, only to have the bra 2 sizes too big, the T-shirt tight and skimpy and the shorts barely covering my bum. But I guess anything was better than that red dress. And it was nice of him to think of me. I brush out my hair and clean my face removing all evidence of last night. I walk out to see Aaron slipping a condom into his pocket. He notices I saw it. "You look so good babe," he says beaming "Everything fits perfectly." "Really?" I say looking down at myself. "Definitely, you look hot!" I blush from his suppose complement. Why do I feel so uncomfortable around him? "So I was thinking how about we continue where we left off last night. I have protection." "No," I say a little too fast and a little too loud. "I mean I have to get to Emmas now. Could you drive me." "We wouldn't be long," he says his eyes pleading. "Maybe later, I really need to get to Emmas." He looks upset but he grabs his keys and walks me to this car. The car ride was long and awkward with the radio being the only thing getting me through. I was so thankful to see Emma waiting on her front porch, as she ran and engulfed me in a hug. "I'm so happy to see you!" Emma beams "It's been too long." I smile up at her. "Where are my manners come inside Bethany. Bye Aaron." She says closing  the door behind us. I watch Aaron awkwardly walk back to his car, but for some reason didn't feel bad. "I've made coffee it's down in my room. You interested?" "Definitely." I follow Emma down the narrow hallway and flop down on her bed, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and start to spill and when I finish the room goes silent. "Am I over thinking this?" I whisper. Emma starts to fidget with her jumper. "I don't think its as bad as you think. He clearly loves you, look at everything he has done for you look at everything he has done for your family. He wouldn't have done all this if he didn't love you. I think your just a bit uncomfortable because it's your first time. Don't stress too much and try to relax next time have fun." "So I'm just overreacting?" "Totally." She says leaning in for a hug. I couldn't have been happier to have a friend at that moment. I guess Emma was right. This is what people do when there in love after all.