The Truth About the Girl With the Broken Smile [Ouran Host Club] (Editing)

Fluff or Soul

The next few days I avoided Hikaru like the plague, and for the most part, he avoided me. I found myself spending an unusual amount of time with Haruhi, but she kept me sane.

Anchored.

Alive.

                Armed with her dad and Tamaki, they listened to my stories and tried to figure out the best possible solution for me. As expected, Tamaki was useless. He had no idea the twins even liked me, but Haruhi…she suspected as soon as I moved into the Hitachiin Manor something like this would happen. Her dad offered up the house to me until things cooled down, but Tamaki refused. I think a part of him was unwilling to let this go. I think he wanted to pretend everything was all right even though everything was the furthest from fine.

And as much as I hated it,

I could relate to him.

I found myself blinded by what could have been.

And as for Kaoru?

                I didn’t have the heart to tell him what had happened between his brother and I. He was like me. Betrayed by the people we held dear to our hearts. I didn’t want him to feel that betrayal again and relive those old wounds. I could only imagine what would happen if he found out. Would he hate me? I shook my head. I hated that thought more than anything in the world. I couldn’t believe I made it to Friday without having to confront either one of them…

***

                I tapped the tips of my fingers to the sleek black briefcase resting on my lap. I drummed them along letting my head spin as I waited for Tamaki. Inside I had two composed pieces. The first was the fairy tale song I had shown Hikaru and Kaoru just before the date. The other was a song from my past. A dark sorrowful tale that seemed oddly appropriate given the situation. I had prepared the orchestra for the first one, unfortunately, my heart was nagging me to open up the briefcase and make it a point to sing the other song. I gnawed on my bottom lip, completely absorbed in though. Suddenly someone poked my shoulder. I glanced up.

                “Ready?” Kyoya asked wearing a sinister smile. His glasses reflected the florescent lights causing me to shield my eyes. I gave an uneasy nod.

                “As ready as I’ll ever be.” I murmured clasping the handle. I scooted up in my seat. “Kyoya, you’re analytical, correct?”

                He frowned. “I’m not sure I see where you’re going with this.”

                “Which song should I sing? Upbeat, happy, sarcastic or ironic soulful lullaby?”

                He puckered his lips resting the clipboard on his hip. He fixed his glasses with his middle finger. “I’ve never been one for pop music, but that’s just my personal opinion. Tamaki is the President, you should ask him.”

                I gave another dull nod. “That sounds…reasonable. But I was just thinking I should sing something that matters, don’t you think? Something that will get to people. I’m tired of this fluff. I want to mean something.”

                “Don’t you mean you want it to mean something?” He corrected. A smirk slid across his face. I glared. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. Just inform the orchestra of any changes. The rest of us will, how you say, improvise.”

                He waved me away with the back of his hand and made a quick exit out the door. I sat in silence, staring at the briefcase still resting in my lap. Fluff or soul, that was my question. If I chose soul, that would mean calling out people and exposing my scars. Fairy tale was the safe bet, but I didn’t want to be safe. I’d been playing that card for far too long. I rose to my feet. Fluff or soul? Fluff or soul? Perhaps Kyoya was right. Maybe I’d already made up my mind.