Gone [cth]

Gone [English]

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone

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I woke up with the bright sunrise in my eyes. The cold instantly spreading all over my body. I was sleeping on the floor, again. I lift my head up with the familiar headache that've been with me these past months before I sat and then leant on the bed side.

Yesterday, there was someone that I could embrace in the morning. But, not anymore. I didn't know since when though.

My head was replaying again the night that made this room looked like debris and wasn't a suitable place to live anymore. Cupboard's doors opened widely, cigarette stubs and broken alcohol bottles were scattered everywhere.

"You're so childish Em!" I shouted. "You're obviously know that July is just a friend! And she was telling me about her problems with her boyfriend, like always!" she squinted her hazel eyes to me.

"A friend never ask for a kiss on the lips after a friendly hug!" she pressed her last word dramatically.

"I thought we've done with that!"

"I could careless with your 'friendship', but I can see the purpose behind what she did to you!" her eyes began to watery, she was obviously starting to cry very soon.

I hate tears.

"I don't understand," I whispered.

"I am a women Calum. I could see other thing the way she looks at you. All what she did is fake. She wants to push me away and thoroughly have you." her tears spilled all over her chubby cheeks. I pulled out my hair in frustration, Emma shouldn't believe shitty rumours out there.

"You've got to be joking," I said.

I got up and then tottering to the bathroom. I saw a reflection of zombie in the mirror. Pale skin, trembling hands, but I used to these black circle under my eyes.

I washed my face with the chilling water from the faucet. Even my sense of touch had been dead because of the soul-frozen I felt. All inside myself were dead, this body was just an empty container that waited to be thrown away, not to be refill.

I headed back to my room. Saw the condition of it just made the anger and emptyness inside of me back to the surface. But now, I can easily control it, I don't know why, probably because I already tired.

I walked in and looked straight at the object that sprawled weakly on the floor. I didn't even feel hurt when the broken pieces of bottles stab my feet. All my senses are dead.

"What are you doing?!" I shouted when Emma pulled out all her clothes from the cupboard then threw them to the suitcase.

"You told me that you would always choose friendship over love. But I won't let you choose, I am not a choice." her voice cracked with tears all over her face. Even when she was crying, she's still beautiful.

"Emma, stop this already!" my anger had been reach it limits, and probably it would burst not long again.

Emma didn't want to hear me, and kept her clothes into the suitcase. I pulled her hand but she refused me.

Once she thought there was no clothes left, Emma got up and hurried went out of the house.

"Emma!" I called while tried to catch her up. "Stop acting like an unstable teenager that just feel what it's like to fall in love!"

Emma ignored my speech and kept walking away from me. I convinced myself that she would come back, just like those nights, I thought. But minutes passed by from when she disappeared in the darkness, and she wasn't coming back.