Trials {Editing}

Chapter 4

Noah's POV

When Harper walked into the dining room, all dressed in green, I couldn't help but think she looked breathtaking in that color. You could see every curve of her body as she walked, those hips swaying, not a hair out of place. I wondered why she was so dressed up just for dinner with me and my parents, and a small part of me hoped it was simply because of that fact. I watched her turn her smile from my parents towards me, holding eye contact for a second longer than what was normal, before she sat down next to me and looked away as their male maid served salad.

My heart felt like pounding out of my chest and I had to readjust myself in my seat. She wasn't too far away, and her scent was wafting through my nose, crisp and fresh. I knew if I just grabbed her hand, it would be so easy to pull her out of her chair over towards me and kiss her. Of course I couldn't, for so many reasons, but the thought was there.

I saw Harper squirm under my gaze, and I smiled. I liked knowing I could have that little affect on her. She turned towards me with a cute little warning glare. I repressed my laughter as I put my hands up in surrender. I liked it whenever she got upset; it was always so cute. Unfortunately, the moment didn't last long, as my mom caught Harper's attention by asking how school was for her. She smiled sweetly and replied, "Oh, it was quite well, thank you for asking! How was your day, Willow?"

She chatted with my mom for a while before she started talking to Connie again. I decided it was my chance to capture her attention again, maybe even see how much an effect I can have on her. "You look beautiful," I leaned over and whispered. She looked at me with wide eyes and a small blush. It was bittersweet; I love seeing that I can make her blush, but the surprise in her that I said that cut me like a knife. "Thank you," she said with a smile and a purr. "You don't look too bad yourself." I simply smiled, hoping I had the same effect on her that she had on me.

After dinner, our parents went off to do their own thing, while I convinced Harper to go for a walk. I kept a respectful distance as we walked, but I stayed as close as I possibly could without invading her space. I tried to sort out my thoughts, knowing what I want to say and trying to decide what I could say.

"Say," I ventured. "Are you over that last guy you were dating? Billy, I think his name was?"

"Oh," Harper laughed and waved her hand, as if the thought were ridiculous. "I got over him almost the day after we broke up."

I stopped walking and turned towards Harper. I had already known the answer before she said so, and of course I didn't want her to so much as think about Billy, but the quickness concerned me. "You do know why you get over all your boyfriends so quickly, don't you?"

Harper rolled her eyes and shrugged, not really caring what the reason was. It infuriated me to know end, but I didn't allow it to stop there. I had to say something. "You've never really cared about them in the first place," I said to her. I stopped for a moment, knowing that I needed to fix that before I really offended her. "Well, you cared, but not in the way that you thought you did. You do this to yourself, over and over again. You fall for a guy that you know isn't good for you and only wants one thing from you, or lose interest in the ones that would be. Why do you always do this to yourself?"

Harper laughed cynically with a little shake of her head. She looked straight at me, her hands on her hips, her eyes challenging why I cared. "It's not like I ever let them get that far, anyway," she shrugged, her eyes locked on mine. "And how do you know I didn't care for them? How do you know I didn't just decide that they weren't right for me? And what about you, Mr. Perfect? Are you gonna sit here and tell me you've never wanted just that one thing from any of your girlfriends, and actually got it?"

"No, I've never done that, and never would," I responded, hoping she believes me. Harper rolled her eyes. "Well whatever," she sighed angrily. "I just haven't found the right person yet, and I'll keep looking until I find him."

I looked at Harper and the challenging look in her eyes. I could practically read her thoughts, saying: 'go ahead, I dare you'. I wanted to contradict her, tell her that she had found the right person and that that was me.

I courageously grabbed her hand as the other fell limp and she looked at me with surprise. I took a deep breath. This is it. I'm going to tell her.

"Harper, I," I paused, not sure how to continue on. I must tell her. I must. Then I could see her look of hurt and betrayal that terrible day all over again. "I just can't watch you keep hurting yourself like this. It's tearing me apart."

Harper analyzed me, green eyes slightly squinted, lips pursed, jaw set, eyebrows furrowed; a puzzle of unreadable emotions contorting her face. Finally, she looked down at our hands. I felt my face grow hot at the realization and immediately let go, regretting it the minute she looked back up at me. Her eyes were clouded as she opened her mouth to speak, only to close it again. I sighed and began walking again. I missed my chance again. "Never mind," I dismissed. "Forget I ever said anything."

She didn't walk for a moment, only watching as I go before walking behind me as we headed back home. I didn't dare look behind, but was always mindful as to where she was. I chided myself for missing my chance, as well as for expecting any other reaction than what I got. What was I thinking, I chided myself. That she would just throw herself into my arms and say that she still loves me? That she's always loved me? Yeah, right.

I should have never said anything. I should have let it go. I should have let her go. I only cause her more harm than good. Hell, she can't even speak about what happened. I changed her entire life, and I have no one to blame but myself.

"Noah," Harper called out. She sped up and stood directly in front of me, forcing me to stop walking. I looked at her, confused.

"Noah, I-I," she faltered a little, her confidence ebbing away. I looked intently at her, wondering what was going on in that beautiful head. She looked down, then grabbed my hand. I raised my eyebrows as my whole body light up on fire. Can it be? Does she still love me and i haven't put enough effort in?

I responded immediately, wrapping her hand in both of mine and pressing it against my chest, waiting for her to say whatever she was going to say. "Noah," she started again, her confidence looking like it was building. "I just wanted- no, I need to know why-"

She was interrupted by a loud honk. We turned to where the sound was from as a car started pulling up. I put myself between Harper and the car, ready to protect her if I had to. The window rolled down, and there were my parents.

"Hey kids," my mom called out. "Sorry if we startled you. We're leaving now, Noah. You two jump into the car and we'll drive Harper back to her house."

I groaned, so irritated with my mom for interrupting. I opened the car door for Harper, then went around and got in behind my dad. We drove in silence, my anger fuming as my curiosity burned and my heart was still racing. I wondered what Harper was going to say. Will I ever find out now? Did my mom completely ruin all the progress I had made in less than twenty seconds?

We pulled up to Harper's house and said goodnight as she went inside. The car ride was silent, and throughout the drive my mom only said one single sentence, the sentence she says every time we visit Harper. "You need to let her go, son. She deserves to be happy." I simply stayed silent, assuring myself as I usually do that my mom has no clue what she's talking about. When we finally got home, I ran to my room and immediately texted her:
Hey Harper, what were you going to say before my mom interrupted?

I didn't have to wait long before she replied.

Harper: Oh, it was nothing of importance. Goodnight, Noah.

Noah: Goodnight Harper.

I groaned and let my phone drop on my bedspread, wishing that my mom hadn't messed everything up. Maybe she was going to tell me that she liked me too, or was finally ready to talk about what happened and let me explain myself. Now, I guess I'll never know.