Fire Emblem Awakening Randomness (18+)

Lucina Gets Drunk

I should probably make note of the Avatar's appearance. He has long blonde hair and (sometimes) Eggman shades, and he is a Vanguard (whichever one you prefer, PoR or Fates).

Chrom, Lucina, and I walked into a tavern one day to celebrate something (celebration itself?). I'll be honest. I am surprised that Chrom would be okay with this, seeing that Lucina could be throwing her future away here. As soon as we walked in, we ran into Vaike drinking with Gregor.
"Hey you guys! Chrom, how ya been?" Vaike asked. He didn't seem drunk. Yet.
"Pretty good. Just taking my daughter out for a drink."
"And Tyler! How are you?" That's my name by the way. Pleased to meet you.
"Eh. Could be doing better." I looked at Lucina. She seemed uncomfortable.
"Heeeey, you crushing?"
"...am I what?"
"Y'know...the whole thing with guys and gals?"
"What?! A-are you drunk?!"
"Only had 4, maybe 5 glasses..." Look, I don't know how this works. Would that get Vaike drunk?
"Well, we should probably get so-"
"Nah, nah, come and dance with me, will ya?"
"Chrom, just get yourself and Lucina some drinks while Vaike drunk dances with me." Vaike took my hand and began dancing (very poorly). He slammed into a couple of tables before sitting next to Gregor and laughing his head off, which he promptly joined. When I returned to Chrom and Lucina, they were still finding a place to sit. I had found a nice place at a table next to Vaike and Gregor's. I went up and ordered a few drinks, which I returned with a few seconds later. Very fast, I'm aware. Lucina simply took one and chugged the whole mug, to mine and Chrom's surprise.
"Ah...hit me."
"...y'know what, just take mine, beautiful." I slid my mug to her, which she also pounded. Chrom stared in pure astonishment.
"Lucina, are you okay?"
"...more."
"Damn. You're tougher than I."
"And you're a Vanguard, I know."
"You won't if you get too drunk." I went up to the counter to get a pitcher.
"What can I get for ya, mate?" The bartender said.
"A pitcher. ...maybe two."
"Wait wait! Is that the Ylissean royal family?!"
"I'm with them."
"Amazing! Royalty in my tavern! Drinks on the house for you and your fellows!"
"I insist I pay. Drinks are on me."
"If ye insist, mate!" He filled up two pitchers in the blink of an eye. I carried them back to the table, watching as Lucina drank Chrom's liquor. He promptly pounded his head on the table and groaned.
"Chrom, what's up?"
"This was a mistake."
"You didn't expect Lucina to become a heavy drinker?"
"Quiet, you! She just needs to get it out of her system!"
"We'll see. Gods, I hope she doesn't go and reveal anything."
"Yeah. That would be...bad." Lucina reached for a pitcher.
"Please, Lucina, I'll get that for you."
"Yeah yeah thanks." I poured her a glass. Before I even took note, it was empty. She attempted to rip the pitcher from my hand, but failed.
"Lucina. I can't let you do this."
"Please, just give me the gods damned pitcher!"
"I'll have to check with your father." I looked at Chrom, who screamed "WELL, WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?!" I promptly handed Lucina the pitcher, which she also pounded. Should she be dead by now? She then went Vaike on us.
"Y-Y'know guys... I... Specifically you, big guy in the armor... I wanna fuck you so bad..." Chrom shot his head up, knocking one of the pitchers over. Lucina stared at me while she drank it up from off the table. "And you, father... Feel free to knock me up any time... I'll, I'll carry your next kid around in me... And you too, Tyler... I've seen your cock while you sleep... I've even rode it a couple times... You ever need a cum dumpster, just call me, I'll be happy... to service you in all the right ways... Both of you, you, you just shove 'em right up me, I love you..." I stared at her. This was exactly as I was saying earlier; NOT to spill those secrets. I prepared to walk out, walking all of the pitchers and glasses back to the counter and grabbed a towel to clean the mess Chrom had made. I had to carry Lucina out.

The next day (rather, the next morning at about 5 AM), I heard Lucina crying in the next room over. I knocked on the door, and she let me in, her tear-soaked night wear showing a sign of her depression.
"Lucina, you don't seem to be doing well. Might I be of assistance?"
"Sniff... yes..." We walked in.
"Mind if I light a candle?"
"Whatever, sure, milord."
"Did you just call me-" she slammed a fist into the wall and began to begin rapidly breathing, prompting Frederick to yell: "MILORD, ARE YOU OKAY?!" "YES, FREDERICK, I'M FINE!"
"It doesn't matter what I called you! I really need help!"
"Don't worry. I'm here for you. And I always will be. If you're trapped behind the ice and have nobody to help you escape, just call the Vanguard."
"Thanks..." We hugged on the spot.
"Oh yeah, and about last night? Perhaps you shouldn't drink so much. You are Chrom's only daughter."
"I'll try. From now on, I give up drinking."
"Every once in a while is acceptable. If you celebrate with us, feel free to drink as much as you'd like. However, this cannot be a regular thing. If you would like a drink at any time, you can invite me out, but you can't drink so much that you spill out everything like you did last night."
"What did I say last night, anyway?"
"...well, you said you wanted to have sex with me, you wanted to carry Chrom's child, that you've seen my privates in my sleep, and you then invited us to have sex with you. Then I carried you out, still drunk. You drank more than a whole pitcher."
"That's a lot to take in... I promise I will stop my excessive drinking."
"It was one time, y'know."
"Thank you. Do you want to go outside and hit the town?"
"I'd like that."