Confessions of a Hoe

1

"Ma, I'm scared."

"Of what Kaila? It's just school."

"It's more than that ma. It's a new school and I don't know anyone."

"What about the girl up the street.. didn't you talk to her about walking with you to school in the morning?"

"Yes, but still. She's not going to always be with me."

"Kaila, you'll be fine. Just be yourself. If they can't accept it, then oh well." My mom shrugged her shoulders.

I sighed and walked to my room. She just doesn't understand. The first day of school is tomorrow, but instead of my usual school in my old small town. Im in a bigger town with a population that consisted of primarily blacks. Black principal, black mayor, black clerk, etc. My old school was primarily white. It may not sound like a lot, but the difference is bigger than one can think. I was always "too white" to fit in with the blacks and "too black" to fit in with the white. I was an outcast. I didn't have many friends. I was always too shy to even spark conversation.

I layed across my queen sized bed and as much as I tried not to.. my mind couldn't help but drift to the adventures of tomorrow.  I couldn't even remember the girl up the street name without having to scroll through my contacts. Kadeja. She gave me her number but the whole thing was awkward. A couple days ago I walked up to her house and told her I'd be going to the same school and if she wanted to walk with me to school in the morning. She probably thinks I'm weird. I sighed and closed my eyes, shaking my thoughts off.

•.    •.    •.

"KAILAAA!"

I opened my eyes slightly.

"I'm about to head out to work  baby! Did you remember to set your alarm?" My mom called out.  I never understood how she woke up sooo happy.

"Yes"

"Okay! School takes in at 7:45. Don't be late, if you have to leave that girl. Then do it. Okay? Have a great day. Everything will be ok."  She smiled

"Ok ma."

I heard her lock the door behind her as I tried to go back to sleep. Failing miserably. I checked the time 6:30. I rolled my eyes. What to do now?  I fixed myself some POPS cereal and watched the Fresh Prince of Bel Air until 7 then got dressed.

I pulled my long jet black hair into two ponytails then laid my edges. and decided to wear my new fashion nova high waisted jeans, faux fur slippers , and navy blue crop top. I looked at my curvy appearance and perfect baby face in the mirror. I was always shy of my appearance. My body was very mature for my age I was "country thick" as they'd call it, with size D breasts at 14 years old. When I was younger my mom wouldn't even let me wear certain things, as if I could control how thick I was.

I checked the time again 7:26. I sighed deeply that's all? I decided to take pictures to pass time. When I checked again it was 7:40 what the hell? I know she didn't stand me up like that! I mumbled. As if on cue I seen a group of girls pass by. Wait.. that's her. I quickly opened the door and walked out. They looked at me and smiled, I smiled back as we walked to school. I checked the time again 7:45. I panicked on the inside. Late.. we entered the school hallways then entered the gym. All eyes on us. Mainly me.. the "new girl". My nerves instantly kicked in. We sat as the principled dismissed us by grade. With us being freshman's. We were the first to go.

The rest of the day was pretty much quick. The teachers went over the same things as always. Rules, expectations, safety, and papers to bring back signed. You'd think we were in boot camp. The highlight of my day was English class when I met eyes with this tall, 6 foot even light skin guy with waves as deep as the ocean. With his lean, muscle build I could easily tell he was an athlete. But my river down below couldn't help but pour once he spoke when the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves.

"My name is Jaylin Alsina. I'm 15. Jonesville's very own starting wide receiver for JV." He smiled cockily. His voice was deep and full of confidence. If anyone looked at me, they'd notice my lips shaped in a perfect O. Mr. Alsina, I want you.. and I will get you. I thought.

• • • •

"So how u liking Jonesville so far?" Kadeja asked.

"It's cool"

"Met anyone you like?" Her friend Mariah asked

I thought back to Jaylin. I shook my head "No. Not really."

"So what school was you going to before you came here?" Mariah asked

"St. Lawrence"

A loud snort came from their friend Jania . She hasn't spoken the whole time. She was light skin with hazel eyes and petite. Everyone looked back at her then turned their attention towards the front.

"Um. See y'all tomorrow." I spoke once we neared my house.

"Byeee." They spoke sweetly everyone except Jania who rolled her eyes.

"Well fuck you too then" I mumbled closing the door behind me.