Don't Tell Sammy

Chapter 14: A Platonic Date

Dean tossed the dishcloth in the trash and put the cleaning stuff away, swiftly washing his hands afterwards, twice, because they smelled of bleach and blood. Castiel was now reading, his lives clearly used up, and he didn't look when he asked, 'what took you so long?'

'Chatty neighbor,' Dean lied easily, walking over and sitting next to Cas again. 'Used up your lives?'

'Yes,' Castiel nodded, 'I made it to level seventeen. I would have made it farther but the app crashed three times and made me lose three lives because I was in-play when it crashed. I also used up those three pink lollipop things, and all of the gold bars I could spend.'

'Jesus Christ,' Dean muttered.

'No, I'm Castiel,' Cas scoffed.

'Yeah, you're right,' Dean agreed. 'Jesus is back in Kansas. Get it? Because of Sam's hair, and when he hasn't shaved in a few days ...'

'I understand your joke, Dean,' Castiel replied, rolling his eyes and closing his book. 'There's no need to explain. I'm not as dumb as you may think I look.'

'I don't think you look dumb,' Dean disapproved, frowning as if the statement offended him. 'I think you look great. And smart. Because you are smart, you're the smartest person I know. Even above Sam. It's just that my jokes can me a little lame and usually need explaining to people unless they're so bad that they're obvious and just piss everyone off.'

'Your jokes aren't bad, Dean,' Castiel frowned. 'I think you're funny ... most of the time.'

'And I think I'm hilarious,' Dean agreed, 'but other people don't because their senses of humor are dryer than a nun's vagina.'

'Crude,' Castiel replied. 'Yet still funny, unless you're a nun.'

'I like you, you think I'm funny,' Dean grinned. 'I like you a lot.'

'I would hope so,' Castiel said crisply, 'otherwise I don't know what I'm doing here. It seems completely illogical to help someone who doesn't like you, even if his brother is Jesus.'

'Speaking of Jesus,' Dean segwayed, 'didn't he text you?'

'What?' Castiel asked in confusion, and then he got it. 'Oh! Right. Sam texted. I should check that.'

Dean watched patiently as Cas pulled out his phone and got up his messages, read, and then sighed.

'You were right earlier,' he stated blankly. 'He's completely in love with me.'

No, that's the other brother, Dean thought. Sitting right here.

'Told you,' Dean sighed, shaking his head. 'Poor guy. What does he want?'

'He says, "hey, just checking in to make sure you're okay, heard you've been talking to Dean and I'm glad you seem good. You should visit some time if you get off work." I didn't know he cared so much.'

'Of course he does,' Dean said, completely serious. 'It's not like he knows you're here or anything and is doing it to try and get you to admit it. He's not that annoying.'

'There's no way he could know that I'm here,' Castiel frowned. 'You're a good liar, I'm a good liar and this phone is new so he wouldn't be able to track the GPS on it.'

'I'm a good liar?' Dean asked, raising his eyebrows slyly.

'Occasionally,' Castiel allowed him, realizing his slip up. 'Rarely. But occasionally.'

'Thanks for the vote of confidence,' Dean replied sarcastically. 'So what are you going to say to him?'

Castiel held up a finger and began to type, handing the phone to Dean once he'd finished but before he'd sent it.