Don't Tell Sammy

Chapter 26: Oh, I Know

When Dean got back into the apartment he kicked off his shoes, closing the door behind him. The cleaning crew were already cleaning up the hallway and the repaired security camera footage was being checked but Dean doubted anything would be found.

Cas was still in the shower so Dean got to doing the dishes alone. He wondered if he should tell Cas about the message. He didn't want to keep secrets from him, but he didn't want to fuck up his day either. Maybe he could compromise with a half truth or something, he wouldn't lie ... just withhold some of the information. Because he loved Cas and he didn't want to hurt him, especially not now he'd finally realized what the hell this was – a relationship.

They'd been pretty much dating for weeks and he hadn't fucking figured it out. They went places together, they shared meals out together alternating in who paid (the fact that the money came from the same money source put aside) and they watched movies under blankets and they held hands and they wrapped their arms around each other and they had all these deep and meaningful conversations scattered throughout a flurry of ridiculous ones with a pinch of stupid and boring day-to-day domestic nonsense.

Going places together. Sharing meals. Physical affection.

Dating.

When they'd slept together that first time, Christmas, it ... had just been their first time in the relationship they'd somehow accidentally developed over the course of December. Not just some meaningless hookup to relieve the tension.

And now they both knew what this was.

A relationship. Like, shit. Fuck. What the hell.

A relationship that Dean knew would end the second the case did if he didn't sort out his shit and get his actual feelings, all of them and their reasons, out there – the feelings that would permanently cement that relationship right into reality.

But that ... he couldn't do.

It was going to kill him when this temporary thing ended. But as for Cas, Cas would get over it. Cas would move on and realize he was an idiot for even thinking about Dean in that way – the most idiotic thing Cas had ever done. Love Dean.

Part of Dean wished Cas would say the words, therefore Dean wouldn't have a choice in saying them back. But the rational part of him hoped Cas could keep it all in until he got over it.

When Cas sauntered out into the room with damp hair and smelling like freshly applied deodorant, Dean knew one thing for certain. Cas may eventually get over Dean, but when it came to Cas Dean was fucked, his legs automatically carrying him towards that bright eyed glorious creature, his hands cupping his face and his lips finding his lips, something that was natural to him now but still impossible to think about; the fact that he got to kiss Cas and hold Cas and be with Cas for however long more.

'You taste like mouthwash,' Dean muttered.

Really dumb thing to say. Still, he'd said worse.

'Well I just brushed my teeth,' Castiel shrugged. 'Is the laundry in the washing machine?'

'Yeah, it is,' Dean confirmed, taking Cas by the hand and pulling him towards the sink so Dean could finish off drying the last few dishes he'd washed. 'But I need to tell you something and it's not pleasant so just try to keep in mind the good stuff like us going out tonight and it being a whole new year and all. Can you do that?'

'I can try,' Castiel promised. 'Did the witch do something?'

'Covered the hall in crap with "YOU DISGUST ME" scraped out of it.'