Ache

Ch 10

"So who was that guy? And I mean really Reed. Who. Was. He?" Nina swallowed hard before continuing. "What was he?"
The young man sitting across from her, with blue eyes so dark they were nearly black, lashes that brushed softly against pale cheeks and a dark fury that emanated off of him in waves, was stock still. Dangerously still and silent.
It'd been three days since Mika's attack and not once since they'd first been allowed to see him had Reed left his side.
Not once had he budged from the spot beside the unconscious Mika. Not once had he allowed himself to rest. Not once had he taken his eyes off his lover's face nor loosened the hand wrapped protectively around Mika's.
And even though he had to be exhausted, he didn't let it show. He didn't let on how scared he'd been either.
Every time she closed her eyes Nina saw Reed's trembling hands as he held the bloodied boy to him. She would never forget the pain and fear reflected in his eyes then and when they'd waited in the waiting room at the possibility that Mika could've died.
She knew that he needed this time with Mika. She knew that he needed it in order to believe, truly believe that his lover was alive and safe. Yet, even though he'd put on this wall around himself that would not allow anyone to take his attention away from Mika she knew she had to do it.
She had to know.
She had to.
"Reed."
A long time went by. The space between them filled with the one word. The one plea. She knew that he didn't want to answer. Figured that he wouldn't.
And then-
"I don't know."
Reed sighed.
"I don't know who he was and quite honestly it doesn't matter. At least not right now. I killed him. I. Killed. Him, Nina. And until Mika pulls through, until I am one hundred percent sure he is  okay, physically and emotionally, whoever HE was, wherever he came from don't matter to me."
She watched with a shiver dancing down her spine as he sat up straighter in his chair. The air grew colder, the space around him darker.
"You can rest assured though that when the time does come, when Mika is better, I will not stop until I find every single piece of information on the guy who did this to him. I will hunt day and night until I've uncovered every truth about him. If he was in cohorts with others-"
He looked straight at her. Dead center in the eyes and for the first time since she'd met him Nina felt true fear.
"I will make them wish they'd never even thought of laying a finger on Mika. I will kill them. Every last one of them. As many times as I can. I will inflict so much pain on them that only until they stop begging me for death, when they're too far gone to do anything but breathe, I'll stop. Then and only then will I kill them and I promise you that it will be a slow and most painful death, it's what they deserve."
She didn't know how badly she was shaking until he touched her hand to stop the trembling.
"Reed..."
She clenched the hand under the weight of Reed's into a tight fist.
"Just who are you?"
He looked away then. Cast his half lidded gaze on the sleeping Mika. A small tender smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
He looked so peaceful then. So at ease. So in love. Like he would do anything for Mika. Anything. At any cost.
And it was terrifying.
A terrifying kind of love.

She couldn't possibly believe that whatever it was she'd seen earlier in his eyes and felt from his words was anything but a reflection of his true self.

Something in her gut though told her it was. A feeling so primal inside her that it was hard not to feel fear. Hard not to allow herself to believe in that same instinct felt by the earliest humans and which allowed them to survive-
only because they listened to it.
The young man before her was dangerous. Truly and effortlessly dangerous.
She grit her teeth, breathed deeply and when he finally turned to look at her once more met his steely gaze with one of her own.
"Reed. Who are you?"
The deafening silence that followed after was eternal.
And just when she thought he wouldn't give her a straight answer-
"What would you say Nina if I told you I used to be involved with some very, very bad people, what would you do?"
She swallowed. Felt her hands begin to tremble so she balled them into tighter fists.
"That for the first few years of my life I was marked and considered property. And no I don't mean figuratively, I mean literally marked, branded like an animal. To be bought and sold to the highest bidder. That I was branded by my last owner with his own personal wrought iron mark to show everyone that I belonged to him."
He chuckled. "You don't believe me do you? Well, here, maybe this will help you decide whether or not it's true."
Then Reed did a curious thing. He gently placed Mika's hand back on the mattress, then stood to his full height. He trained his dark gaze on Nina just once before turning so that his back was to her then pulled his shirt and jacket up as he did so. Nina's eyes widened and her breath caught at the sight before her.
On Reed's smooth pale back, on the left side of it and right on top of his ribs, was a mark. A mark she realized that could only have been made one way: a red hot cattle brand. It was a circle of raised skin with the initials A.R burned right onto the tender delicate skin there. Ugly and obscene in the way it scarred his flesh- a burn mark through and through marking him like an animal.
She bit her lip to keep the sudden rush of tears in her her eyes from spilling over. She let out a shaky breath.
Oh my god, he was telling the truth.
Reed pulled his clothes back over the mark and took his seat beside Mika once more, lacing his fingers through Mika's pale slender ones.
"Would you believe me when I said that my hands, that my entire being is soaked with the blood of both the innocent and the bad alike?"
She grit her teeth, set her jaw to keep the shudders that ran through her from making her lips tremble. It was harder to believe that he was making it up at this point... after what he'd just shown her... She owned it to him to sit quietly and listen.
"If I told you that I was forced into child prostitution at the tender age of four and that I was raped by both women and men alike, forced into countless orgies where dozens of blurred, masked faces took their turns with me, where anything and everything was fair game and where even if I lost consciousness they still kept at it like wild beasts... what would you say Nina?"
Reed smiled, a sad sort of smile that didn't reach his eyes. He took his other hand, the one that wasn't holding Mika's and gently cupped Mika's pale cheek. His gaze softened as he stared at his lover and the small sad smile became softer as it tugged at his lips. Nina watched this all with her heart pounding on her tongue. Trying to keep the roaring in her ears at bay.
"I became a killer at seven years old. Murdered someone in cold blood. And you know what? It made me...  so... happy. I felt such joy at the sight of the dark, gleaming blood oozing out of that person."
He leaned forward until his forehead was flush against Mika's and the sight itself was like that of the sun and the moon, night and day. Light and dark. Two polar opposites who seemed to fit like perfect pieces.
"By the time I was ten years old I had at least ten kills under my belt. Every single one of them easier to do than the last. After all who would suspect a child?"
She shivered at his chilling words.
"A child taken in by the most ruthless of human beings in existence and trained to kill. Trained to perfect it and turn it into an artwork. That's who I was and who I grew up to be..." He chuckled softly. "At least until the moment I met Mika. "
He ran his hands through Mika's white hair, slid his fingers gently through the soft silky locks.
"I don't blame you Nina for being afraid. I don't blame you for worrying for Mika but what I will not accept is your pity. Don't pity me Nina. Don't feel sorry for me. It is what it is. I accept it, do you understand? I. Accept. It. It's a part of me that I don't regret. I am who I am because of it. And yes, I'm well aware of how tainted I am Nina. Is that what you wanted to hear. Does that satisfy you? To know all of the terrible wickedness in my past, is that enough for you? Be honest, I don't mind."
Reed smiled gently.  Placed a chaste kiss on Mika's forehead then sat up to fix his empty gaze on her.
"This man lying on this bed is all that matters to me now Nina. What I did in my past I can never undo nor do I want to. But, for this man here I will try my best to keep it as such: in the past. I will live my life entirely as he sees fit. I will do whatever he wants, whatever he asks of me. So, don't fear me because you think I'll kill him or harm him because I would rather inflict pain on myself than so much as think of doing something like that. Instead, if you must fear me then fear me for what I did in my past."
All that time. In all those months, the one year that she'd known him not once had Reed ever divulged so much about his past. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined him opening up to her as he did in that one moment. And from the way he'd spoken, the way he'd watched not only her but Mika, she knew that he'd confessed every single part of his life to Mika as well. He'd been honest. Blunt and straightforward. Without regret or a shred of guilt he'd confessed the sins he'd committed and not once asked for understanding or forgiveness. He honestly didn't care what she thought. Whether she approved or not didn't matter to him in the least. Yet he'd taken her into consideration enough to allow her inside. To trust her with his past. And the more she thought of it, he could've murdered an entire town of people, bathed in their blood for all she cared, but as long as he looked at Mika in the way that he did now, the way he always did, she realized he would always just be Reed. The same as always.
As long as he looked at Mika with hearts and stars shooting out of his eyes she knew that whatever he did wouldn't matter.
None of it did.
And with that realization the man before her, the boy, her friends' lover... Reed, finally, finally became someone she could put her trust in entirely.