placebo's machine

Thought 11

part two

iron angel

Thought

“Kurt... Kurt, look at this.”

“What is it, Jan?”

“It...There’s a girl. Lying out there.”

A coat rustled and a rusty door swung open.

“Is she dead? Who is she?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know where she came from. She doesn’t look like anyone in town.”

Footsteps crunched over a layer of ice, sinking into deeper snow.

“Jan...stop.”

“What is it?”

“She has wings.”

A sharp breath.

“Is she an angel?”

“What- Jan...”

“I’m serious! We were asking for a miracle and it came! We- an angel, Kurt, an angel.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes... I’m positive this is what we wanted. An angel. Our daughter.”

A long, silent pause. More snow settled. Then, slowly, the coat was slid off of a pair of broad shoulders and draped over those of the sleeping girl.

“Take her inside.”

A hand was stroking hers.

She sleepily opened her eyes, aware of the lingering chill in her feet and fingers. Well, not the fingers currently in the grasp of another, but the ones purposefully folded over her chest.

She slid dry eyes to absorb the face of an older woman, with boyishly short black hair, tanned and wrinkled skin, and deep blue eyes.

“Hello,” she whispered, her voice frail. “Who are you?”

The woman’s face broke into a wide grin. “I’m Jan, but... well, it’s rather hard to explain this... my husband and I were always hoping for a child, and... we found you. So... we were hoping that you would stay here with us. It’s up to you, of course, if you would like to become our daughter...but...” Jan’s voice trailed off, hopefully.

A mother?

“Who am I?” She asked.

Jan looked a bit lost at the question. She spread her hands and shrugged. “Like I said. We found you outside on the edge of the launch area. You came from the sky. That’s why... well, it sounds silly, but we thought you were an angel sent to us. Are... are you?” she added, unsure.

“I don’t know. I don’t know- anything.” She wanted to curl up, reject the world.

Jan looked at her carefully for a long moment of silence. She touched her hand again, rubbing the back of it with her thumb. “Do you know your name?”

“No-” she started to say, then stopped herself. “I think- Eva. Yes, I think my name is Eva.”

Jan nodded confidently. “Then you know something. All you need to know is who you are, and the rest you can learn.”

Eva looked at her. Somehow, she thought it wouldn’t be so bad to have that woman as her mother. “Thank you, then.”

Jan gathered her into a crushing hug, surprising strength hidden in her grey- sweater covered arms. “No, thank you.”