Poked Back (ON HOLD)

Chapter Three

Chapter  Three

Aliza

(Unedited)

I shifted in my chair, uncomfortably, as my eyes keep drafting towards Salar. Good thing he isn’t looking at me like he used to because that would have been a big problem. So, here I am, sitting at the last bench, looking again and again at my long lost love. I had this sudden feeling of looking ugly. Me, in hoody and simple jeans with my hair barely brushed, made me look like a person in depression.

What if he thought I wasn’t over him? And I only dressed this way because I was heart broken? I mean, let’s face it, my life is not a film scene, where I already had make up on and wore a pretty dress and suddenly your love who left you, comes back and sees that you look beautiful and realises “man, I shouldn’t have let her go!” and bang! He comes running back to you!

Yeah, so I was saying? My life ain’t a movie, I looked ugly, probably something I never did when I was still in a relationship with Salar. And now, he probably be thinking “Man, who did I use to date?” This is where all my ugliness becomes the tragedy of my love life.

I sat there, drooling over my own thoughts, my friends would glance back at me once in a while and then point at Salar. I mean, I know he’s there, so what was the point of pointing at him? I sighed when Zeny looked at me and chuckled. The only serious person was my other best friend, Em, she didn’t even stir her head towards Salar, and I knew for a fact that she hated him with all hatred in the world. I don’t blame her, I was a wreck after he left me and that break down turned my friends against him, which is a pretty bad thing because they are totally against me being together with Salar ever again.

So practically I screwed myself. I am strong now, I don’t let anything hurt me easily and I’ll joke around all the time, but there is one moment when you do miss someone you love but I used to keep my head busy so I wouldn’t miss him. That’s when my sleeping addiction started. After the break up, I would miss him so bad and it would always end up making me cry. Not a crybaby though, total opposite, it’s just that it was the first time I ever felt the heartbreak and man was it nasty! I can’t even begin to explain it.

So I stopped myself from crying and started sleeping. I had two reasons to sleep: one that I got to get over my depression or it was because of my depression that I slept a lot and second reason was, well don’t judge me, it is embarrassing but it’s true. I used to dream about Salar. Not erotic dreams, of course, there would be simple dreams, him coming once in a while or we both holding hands or going somewhere in the car etc dreams. The more I tried to deny my feelings for him consiciously, the more I got to see him subconsiciously.

I don’t know what it is, but I guess it was because I did miss him so bad that he would come in my dreams, and every dream I dreamt, it’s of him. Missing him was hard but seeing him in front of me when I can’t reach out to him, or touch him, or say anything sassy to him is harder. Believe me, if he said “Aly, let’s get back together!” I’d do it without any second thoughts.

Yes, I know what you all will be thinking, me not having any selfrespect and all but hey if there is only one guy you ever  fell for, there is nothing you can actually do. I tried falling for other people but I would always end up comparing them with Salar and so yeah they would lose and my feelings for Salar stayed intact.

TRING!

The school bell buzzed and I jumped up. Suddenly taking in the view, our teacher was writing something on whiteboard.

“Assignment?” I read out loud.

“Yes, Miss Aliza,” My teacher replies. “Since you were off in your own world this whole period, I’m gald that you landed back on earth and is ready to take a mission home, hmm?”