You And I: Family Time

Connor IX

Over the weekend, Troye had flown to LA to sort out something with the new album he was working on, leaving me at home with the kids. I didn't mind really, it gave me time to connect with them the way he did while I was at work. But I did miss him.

After cleaning up the gigantic mess in the kitchen and having dinner, we put the kids to bed and ventured out into the backyard, making ourselves comfortable under the big oak tree. I leaned back against it, while Troye leaned on me, my arms around his shoulders as I rested my chin on top of his head.

"Were you serious before?" He asked after a moment.

"About what?"

"About growing our family. Tori's almost two so it's a perfect time to do it."

"Aiden was four when we got her." I countered.

"Yes, but that wasn't intentional, was it? We only waited that long because of my tours and stuff. But I've still got another almost two years before I go on tour again."

"What about your album? I thought you wanted to bring it out this Christmas?"

"Doesn't mean I have to go on tour with it straight away. People can enjoy the music and wait for the tour." He tilted his head back to look at me. "Besides, family comes first."

"Always." I agreed, squeezing his fingers. "I mean, that's why we moved into the house, isn't it? So we could get more kids."

"Exactly. Look at Jim and Tan, they've got three kids in a three bedroom apartment. Scarlett and Izzy have to share. I don't want any of our kids to have to do that."

"Well, I shared with Brandon for a while when we were younger. It didn't hurt."

"You never told me that."

"Really? We've been together more than eight years and I've never mentioned that?" I frowned, trying to think back to a time when I'd talked about sharing a room with my younger brother.

"Not that I can recall. So you didn't always live in that house you were in when we met?"

"Nope. We only lived there for a few years before I met you. Before that we lived in a four bedroom house and because Brandon and I were the youngest, we had to share."

"I don't think I've ever had to share. Well, not at home anyway. When we went on holidays we all used to sleep in the living room of whatever lake-house we were at. But that was usually because we wanted to get up early and play in the lake."

"Yeah, we used to do the same." I sighed at the memories. "We should go on a family holiday."

"I'd love that. Just you, me and the kids somewhere in the middle of nowhere."

"Sounds amazing. But we're getting off track a little, I think."

"We are."

"Considering we started off talking about growing our family." I laughed but when I felt him stiffen in my arms, I frowned. "Troye?"

"I..." Suddenly he burst into tears. I turned him so that he was sitting with his legs across my lap and he buried his face in my shoulder, sobbing.

"Troye, what's wrong? What did I say?" I was confused. Only a moment ago, we'd been happily talking and laughing together.

"C-connor, I h-have to tell you s-something." He stuttered when his sobs had finally subsided a little.

"Babe, you can tell me anything." I said, rubbing circles gently on his back to calm him.

"I'm sorry, Connor, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I tried to get him to look at me but he kept turning his head away.

"I...you're going to hate me." He mumbled. I was shocked that he would even consider that as an option.

"Troye, no. I could never hate you." He pushed himself away from me, taking a few steps across the yard. I stood up too but stayed where I was. Troye's actions were making me wary and I didn't know if I wanted to be too close to him right then. "Troye, just tell me what's wrong."

"I did something. In LA."

"Something like what? Troye, I won't hate you if you just tell me what happened. Everything was so perfect just a few minutes ago." I could see the muscles in his shoulders tensing as he debated something in his head. My heart started beating faster as my own head started running through all the worst-case scenarios he could possibly tell me in this moment.

"I cheated on you." His answer was so quiet, for a split second I thought I'd imagined it. But then I registered what he'd said and my heart practically stopped.

"You what?"

"It was an accident, I swear. I never meant for it to happen. I just, in the moment, I was at a club and this guy was dancing nearby and he..."

"I don't want to know." I cut him off. There was absolute silence in the yard as I stared at him in shock. My head was telling me to listen to what he had to say, but my heart was telling me to run. To grab the kids and go. Where, I didn't know, but that's what I suddenly found myself doing.

My feet were almost involuntarily moving through the house, first waking up Aiden and telling him to meet me in the car before hurrying to Tori's room and picking her up. Troye hadn't followed me. When I walked through the main room of the house, I saw him still standing in the backyard, not moving. Tears were falling from his eyes as he watched me disappear into the garage.

"Papa, where are we going?" Aiden asked me as I backed down the driveway.

"To auntie Zoe's apartment." I decided, turning the car in the direction of Zoe and Alfie's apartment building.

"Why?" I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth just yet. And I felt like if I did, the wall I'd built to stop my emotions from bursting out would crumble right then.

"For a visit."

"What about daddy?"

"Daddy's not coming." I said in a way that Aiden clearly interpreted to mean 'no more questions'.

It didn't take long before we were in the elevator up to Zoe and Alfie's floor. Aiden was holding my hand while Tori sat on my hip. She'd woken up in the car but she wasn't quite confident on her feet when she was half asleep. Knocking on the front door, I felt the wall blocking my emotions start to crack a little and a single tear fell from my eye just as Zoe opened the door.

"Connor? What are you doing here?" At the sound of her voice, the wall finally broke and I burst into tears. Shocked, Zoe carefully took Tori from me and led us into the apartment. "Alfie!"

"Wha-oh. Connor, what happened? Are you okay?" Alfie appeared from the kitchen but stopped in his tracks when he saw me. I was leaning against the wall, trying to control my sobs.

"T-troye...he..." I couldn't finish my sentence, knowing that Aiden and Tori were right there and could hear everything. Thankfully, Zoe seemed to understand that and crouched down to Aiden's level.

"Sweetheart, do you think you could take your sister to go and see Charli? Uncle Alfie and I are going to look after your papa."

"Is papa okay? Why is he crying?" Aiden sounded so innocent that I felt like crying even more.

"I don't know yet. But we'll make sure he's okay. You go and talk with Charli, yeah?" Aiden nodded and took Tori's hand, leading her over to Charlotte's bedroom. When they were inside, Zoe turned back to me. "Connor? Come into the living room."

"Do you want a glass of water?" Alfie offered and I nodded as I followed Zoe into the living room, collapsing onto the sofa. He joined us after a moment and the three of us sat there in mostly silence as I tried to calm myself.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Zoe asked when my sobs had finally faded into sniffles. I took a sip of water and wiped a few stray tears from my cheeks before looking up at them.

"Troye ch-cheated on me."