[A]
today is valentines day in our country 😢 and i'm hungry, broke and single. 😭Jimin;
It's still five pm in the afternoon yet I found myself already twisting and turning around on my bed, messed up thoughts and a doubtful heart. It hasn't been long since Jungkook left to speak with my brother somewhere but to me it already felt like a decade.
I chose to move out from home a week ago and decided to use the house my parents gave me for my birthday three years ago. Taehyung refused to speak to me for approximately two weeks now so I think me moving out is the best decision there is. I can't bear seeing his pained stares and hear the muffled cries every night, and knowing I am the reason behind of it. I just can't.
A groan escaped from my lips for like the millionth time in just a span of three hours, dark and gloomy thoughts invading my mind as I picture the two of them together.
Sure Taehyung is my brother, but it's because he's my brother that I feel so troubled right now. I know him. He will do anything to get jungkook. He had always loved him then and still does now. Taehyung is a selfish bastard. He never even cared about my feelings when he came begging for me to stay away from jungkook, the only boy I've ever longed and desired.
I sighed, pursing my lips into a thin line and bitterly tossed a pillow across the room, at the same time my door bursted open and revealed a disheveled Yoongi. He glared at me when the pillow landed straight to his face, and if it was a normal day I would've laughed at him; but it's not.
"I see you're just as troubled as I am," he whispered, plopping down beside me. I stayed silent, stuck staring up above before another sigh erupted from my lips. "Don't tell anyone but I'm scared shitless, dude." he added, his voice low and blue.
"Don't tell anyone as well but I do too, bro." I retorted, heaving a sigh once more and closed my eyes.
I could hear the faint tick of the clock as my heart starts to tighten by each second that passes, such thoughts coiling in my mind that I could never seem to brush off no matter how painful it is. Jungkook, I thought, my kookie. I hope he's doing well. I hope everything goes well. I hope he comes back to me.
I hope he doesn't change his mind.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt the bed dipped. Looking to the side, my eyes landed on yoongi who's now already depressedly sitting by the corner of the bed. "If Taehyung gives me a chance, I'd take care of him well." he said out of the blue. "I'd shower him with such affection and treat him not like a princess but as my queen." then he turned to me and smiled bitterly, his eyes sad and hopeless like it was the most impossible thing to happen. "I'd love him more than how he loved Jungkook, but I guess I already do, right?" even his laugh sounded so dull in my ears, so blue and just simply broken, gone was the yoongi everybody has come to know.
My heart ached for my bestfriend, all he did was love my brother, all he wished for was to be loved back, how hard could it be? But then again, all I also wished for was love jungkook, and he did, but shit happened.
"If Jungkook stays," I started, playing along. "I'll never let him go." my voice broke, eyes watering and heart slowly breaking at the possibility that Jungkook may or may no longer be mine by tomorrow. "No matter how rocky it gets, if he stays, I'll hold on to him forever." This time, I was crying, the both of us are. "I love him, man— so much." I whimpered, no longer caring about my ego.
Yoongi moved and plopped back beside me and stared up at the ceiling, tears cascading down on the sides of his pale face. He then turned to me after a few moments, eyes broken and empty like life had just been sucked out of him. "Our love lives are way too fucked up, dude." He chuckled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
A faint "Yeah," was all my mouth could produce, staring intently back on Yoongi's hazel ones. His eyes were a complete reflection of mine— broken, afraid but somehow hopeful. It stayed like that for a couple minutes, eyes locked against each other and not bothering to say anything.
He was gazing through my soul and so was I, no words were exchanged and using only our eyes to speak of the things we could never dare share to each other. Unconsciously, our faces inched together until we were only breaths away, eyes never leaving each other's.
But just as our lips were about to connect, we both scowled and moved away, "Nah," we both said at the same time, staring back up and just laid flatly on my bed.
"There's no spark dude," I heard him chuckle, "I'm way too in love with taehyung, sorry." I can't see him but it was in the way he spoke those words that tells me he's smirking.
I chuckled, "Bitch, I'm way too on love with Jungkook to even notice your stinky ass." I heard him laugh before I felt a slap on my arm.
I glanced at him only to see him already looking at me with a small smirk playing on his lips. "For being idiots," he raised his fist in an attempt for a fist bump. A low laugh erupted from my lips as I raised my fist, "For being idiots, indeed." then we bursted laughing.
We talked for a while and tried comforting one another by throwing playful insults here and there. But mostly, our time was spent being all emo and stuff. Yoongi confessed that he badly wanted to kill jungkook for receiving the love that should have been his and I told him I wanted to kill my brother for being such a cock blocker. In the end we ended up wrestling and killing each other instead.
In the midst of insulting each other, yoongi's older brother called, something about urgent matters and shit. "I gotta go, my brother wants to murder me." He pursed his lips.
"What did you do this time?" I chuckled, yoongi and his brother never got along. Yoongi is an asshole, you see.
"I may have washed his car with paint?" He shrugged, not giving a fuck. "He deserves it anyway." he laughed.
"Alright, text me when you die." we both bid our farewells and goodbyes.
Just as the door shut close, the smile immediately vanished from my lips, my heart once again clenched and my mind full of nothing but doubts. I trust jungkook, it's taehyung that troubles me. I'm afraid that he may plot something to win jungkook over me.
My eyes darted on the clock, it's already way past ten yet jungkook still isn't here. He precisely told me he'd be back before nine. I sighed and shook my thoughts away.
He must've been stuck in traffic, it's Christmas season anyway, everybody must've been out buying gifts. My eyes then moved to the snow stuck on my window pane, the thought of jungkook out in the cold invading my mind.
I reached for my phone and dialled his number, hoping to hear his cheerful voice, telling me he's already on his way back and that I don't need to worry.
But he didn't.
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my bestfriend's brother ✔️
Fanfiction❝i love you, hyung.❞ ❝i can't.❞ ©hoe-seokie | 2016 complete »