my bestfriend's brother ✔️

Epilogue

jimin;

i stared at him from my favourite seat, gawking and in awe as i watch him watering the plants. he was all smiles and never frowns, his eyes glowing in a certain euphoria as i faintly hear him hum through his favourite song.

he looked peaceful— so serene and calm as the sun sets on the left side of his face, leaving the other half slightly hidden, but still visible enough to see the huge grin forming on his lips.

a certain warmth enveloped my being as i watched him. i could feel the sweetest smile ever to play on my lips appear, eyes twinkling in such adoration as i wonder: how could he make simple tasks like watering the plants look so glorious and commendable?

but that warmth was cut short as a certain ringtone rang through my ears, disrupting the peace and serenity. my eyes roamed over the letters displayed in the caller's ID, heart pounding and head heavy with fear. then i looked up and stared back at him, only to feel my heart crushed as i watch his smile slowly turns into a lopsided frown.

i didn't even need to ask to know if he heard the call, for the sadness written on his face was enough to tell me he did, and it wrecks him, not only his mind, but also on the inside.

then he looks away.

and somehow that broke me even more.

"mr. park?" was the first words the caller spoke the moment i accepted the call. "hello? mr. park?" a medium toned voice spoke on the other line.

for a moment, i froze. i didn't know what to do, contemplating whether to answer or just do nothing at all, like what i've been doing for the past couple of weeks now. "mr. park i could hear your breathing," i hear him sigh on the other line. "–please we need your cooperation for this case."

i can't, i wanted to tell him. but i couldn't. i couldn't even make a single sound without withering. not even to cry without being dominated by guilt and fear. it was as if the truth was suffocating me, that i am the one to blamed for all of this— that everything is my fault.

i was so close to breaking down then and there, my knuckles fisting beside me as my eyes turns to water— then i lost it.

it's my fault. i should be in perish. i don't deserve such grace. i don't deserve jungkook— i don't deserve any of these. for i am selfish and stupid. i'm nothi–

"papa?"

the sound of our four year old toddler rang in my head, my eyes immediately snapped to him as i feel my heart constricting. and i wonder, how did i deserve all of this— all this glory and wonder. or maybe i don't. i am a bad person after all.

"mr. park,  i know you're still there," the caller spoke, making me look away as i hastily pushed myself on my feet and walked as farther as i can, not missing the way my son's smile slowly falter and turned into a pout.

my heart ached. i wanted to hug him, but i couldn't. not when it is all my fault he is in vain, when it is my fault that he is alone, and friendless and treated like an imbecile. not when i crushed him with my own bare hands.