Shots Fired

Loud

"Alfred, could you come over and help me for a second?" No response. "Alfred?" Still silence. "Alfred, if you don't come over right now, I swear, you'll be getting no sex for a month." Arthur really was in a pinch, he had his hands full and couldn't move from his spot and if Alfred would have the kindness to finally come over and help him, he would be quite relieved and would forget his threat. But that imbecile wouldn't move at all. He turned his head and shot Alfred a death glare. "Will you come and help me now?" Alfred furrowed his brows, stood up and finally moved over to him. "What did you say?" Arthur's brow twitched. He had enough. "I SAID HELP ME GODDAMMIT!" He shouted right into his ear. Alfred winced and obeyed. Arthur snorted. "What's with you? I called you four times until you finally reacted!" Alfred just blinked and stared at him. "I didn't hear a thing until you decided to kill me with your glare. Also, could you speak up a bit? You're so quiet."
"What?" Arthur stepped closer to Alfred. "I am speaking with a normal volume. Maybe you should get your hearing checked."

Miranda sighed and rubbed her eyes. Her neighbours had been loud again last night. For some reason, they always decided to blast their music on full volume every night. She wanted to speak with them about it, but when the door had openend and revealed a good-looking individual, sleepily rubbing his bright green eyes, she somehow had forgotten all her anger and complaints. Yet, however, she regretted it. A lot. After she would come home, she would ring their doorbell, wait until someone openend and complain the hell out of them. "Miranda? Is something wrong?" She looked up and her gaze was met by a friendly, yet concerned face. "Oh, doctor. It's just my neighbours again. They always blast their music on full volume every evening and I can't sleep. I wanted to complain once, but the guy who openend the door just was so hot that I forgot about it." She grimaced. "But no matter what, I will complain after my shift is over." The doctor smiled and ruffled her hair slightly. "That's good. I can't need a sleepy assistant." Miranda returned the smile. "Will do ma'am."

"Hmmm..." The doctor frowned as she finished the examination. Alfred leaned forward. "What is it, doctor? Am I sick?" The doctor shook her head. "Your hearing worsened, but it's only temporary. Unless you are not under the influence of great noise, you should be fine and it will get better again. Do you live close to a airport, train station or highway?" Alfred shook his head. "No, I live in a calm and quiet area. Though it's within the city, it's not loud at all."
"Then are you in any other way affected by great noise?" Alfred looked around in the room, but she was a doctor. She would know how to keep a poker face. She was under medical secrecy. "Well," he began, "my partner and I live in an apartment complex and the walls are pretty thin there. So every time we want to have sex, I turn on music on full volume so nobody hears us, because my partner is really loud. But I like to hear them during sex, so I stay even closer to them to hear them better. But, y'know, they're really loud." He gave her a crooked grin. "How many times a week do you have sex?" Alfred blinked. "Every day. Most of the time several times in a row." She coughed, then let out a short breath. "Well then. No sex until your hearing got better. And when it's back to the way it originally was, still no sex for a month." Alfred gaped. "No way! How long will that take?" Her poker face remained where it was. "At least five months."

Miranda called in the next patient when she noticed her neighbour sitting in the waiting room, seeming a bit on nervous and worried. She forgot her anger for a moment and her cheeks heated up. Luckily, no one else was in the waiting room except him right now. She carefully approached him. "Um, sir? Do you remember me? I'm your neighbour." Not exactly the smartest thing to say, but she didn't have the time to think of something better. He looked up and again she was mesmerized by his wonderful green eyes. He smiled faintly. "Ah, yes. You came over once, but you left without saying much. Is there any problem?" She could complain now, but her mind was blank. "Uh, well, I was wondering what you are doing here? What is your problem? Maybe I can help?" Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid her. Now that was really a dumb thing to say. Thankfully, he just smiled. "Well, it's not me, but my partner. Something with their ears." So he already had someone. But she wouldn't just let herself be discouraged by that. If she was more beautiful then herself, then she would give up, seeing as she didn't have a chance. If not... well, maybe, sometime... The door openend and she could hear an exchange of good-bye's. Her neighbour stood up. She turned around, ready for anything. "And? What did the doctor say?"
"No sex for at least half a year."
"You're kidding."
"She said no loud noises until I get better."
"Because you always turn up the music on full volume!"
"Well, you are always so loud! The neighbors would hear you!"
"Oh, I'm sorry for enjoying how you thrust your big cock into me!" The conversation faded out when the left the room, but she could see them argueing through the glass door. Suddenly, it turned into making out and sexing each other up, hands roaming everywhere. And then the doors of the lift closed and all she could see was how the lift was slowly descending. Miranda blinked. What just happenend? Her neighbour was with that patient she called in... and when she couldn't sleep because of loud music, they actually had sex? She turned around. Well, she certainly didn't have a chance with him. Goddammit. Why did always the good ones have to be gay?