shards of the heart

seventeen; lunatic

(Warning: This chapter may be very triggering as it addresses self-harm; and I am so sorry if I have made you feel uncomfortable! If you are sensitive, please feel free to skip!)

Dear Esther,

As I'm writing to you,
I've made my official decision

I'm doing it again,
To relieve my stress,
To rid my pain

You told me,
Last time,
To stop this game of insanity

But I'm bringing it back,
Just to break me free;
To finally be able to spread out my broken wings

I can't take it any longer,
Being trapped inside a confined enclosure;
Drowning into the unfathomable depths of the ocean

The pen knife I bear in my hands,
Is the key to my freedom;
A perfect illusion

I'm sick of the atrocious voices;
My bestial tormentors,
That echo throughout my head
Brutally slaughtering me more,
Each passing day

The cold blade of the knife,
Rests against my pale and damaged skin,
Sending chills down my spine

I shut my eyes,
Steeling myself for what my guts thinks is right

Alas,
The blade slices through,
My whole body feeling fresh and anew
Scarlet red is all I see,
Dripping onto this sheet of paper,
Flowing out of my arm like a rapid stream

One more cut,
And thirty more;
Till my body is too weak and sore

My head is in a whirl,
I can't think straight;
Tears gush down my face,
Like droplets of rain

I loathe myself too much to be explained,
My hate and sorrow all vented on my grotesque face

I watch with blurred vision,
As I slowly sink into oblivion,
And light is obscured,
While darkness permeates my tiny world,
Killing me,
Ever so softly

Lunacy is all I meet,
Imperfection is all I see
I wish my life could be done and free...

Quinn

( A/N : How was this part? I hope none of you were triggered or disgusted in any way...I'm sorry if you were! See you all in the next few parts! Don't bail on me... )