Cringe Bound (Pyrocynical x reader)

Heyo

"Pyro get yo ass in here." I yell as I lay on the couch with a jar of pickles.

"What the fuck do you want?!" He whines stomping into the living room. He frowns.

"Don't fucking frown upon me and my god damn ass pickles!" I shout at him. "I'm a big ass pregnant woman, calm yourself." I say as I grab the ice cream bowl by the couch. He just shakes his head in response.

"What the hell did you want?" He asks. I set down my food and gave him a look.

"Carry me to bed." I say simply. He looks taken back.

"The bedroom is right there!" He points to the wall behind him.

"That's a wall dumbass." I say, salty.

"To our bedroom!" He completes.

"Just carry, God dammit!" I say waving my arms. Niall rolls his eyes and picks me up bridal style.

"Holy shit!" He shouts trying to get a better hold of me. I smack his arm.

"Don't give me that! I'm only like 115 pounds!"

"That was before you had another human being inside of you." He snaps. I just scowl at him. "But I still love you." He says sweetly, smiling as he does. I quickly smile back.

"I love you more." I giggle as he throws me on the bed and crawls on top of me. He leans closer to my ear and whispers quite huskily-

"I love you most."

-AND THE BABY IS FUCKING BORN

"Calling it Chad." Niall says. "It's definite." I nod back in agreement.

"Мне бы хотелось водки, пожалуйста." I speak in fluent Russian. Niall stops and stares.

"What the hell did you say?" He asks and Roman, the Russian pig, comes out of nowhere.

"She said- "I would like some vodka, please." He informs Niall then leaves.

"No, you moron."

"PLEASE."

"NO."

"YEA."

"HELL NO."

"HELLA YEAS."

"IM TAKING YOU HOME, damn."

"Thank you." I say sweetly.

We smirk, gratefully at each other.

We now have a cancerous family.

This isn't the end.