Supernatural in Real Life

Chapter 7

Trigger warning: I talk about cuts that aren't self harm, and there's talk about suicide. I don't think it's trigger material, but I don't really know what can trigger people and what can't, so I decided to put the trigger warning here anyway.

"Did you miss me?" She asked it teasingly, knowing how he feels before he says it.
"Of course, sweetheart," he replies, sarcasm dripping from his tired voice.
I can't believe it. It's Lucifer. I found Lucifer. What do I do now? I don't know how long the others will be gone for. I can't just wait here, knowing he's in there, but not able to check it out. I look down the hallway Jared and Gabriel went down, and when I don't see anyone coming back, I quietly follow the voices to find Lucifer.
"I've got to say," the woman begins, "when I heard you were back, I couldn't believe my ears. The legendary Lucifer, back from Hell, and hanging out with who? The one who put him there in the first place. God. Honestly, I thought you lost your touch. You weren't the same person you were when you made a name for yourself. Seeing you now, though, I can safely say that I was wrong. You're just as strong as you used to be."
"Well, I'm glad I didn't disappoint," he replies.
"It's a honor to meet you, by the way," she adds. "Really. Not many people can honestly say 'I've met the devil.'"
"Well, don't you just feel so special."
I finally find them. They're behind a door, which I can tell from the dark shade of the window is one way glass. Keeping my head far enough away that they won't be able to see me, I look in. The room is dark, but I can make out some things. Lucifer is bound to a chair, possibly the most cliché thing ever. There's a short ring of fire surrounding him, and I'm assuming it's holy fire. He's covered in large cuts. They're on his face, his arms, and his chest, visible through the slashes in his shirt. There's a woman standing next to him, twirling an angel blade. She's tall and slim, her long blond hair hanging down carelessly. If she is a demon, I can see why she chose this body to possess. She's beautiful.
"So, I'll ask you again," she says, walking towards him slowly. "Where are the hunters?"
"And I'll tell you again," Lucifer replies evenly. If he's worried about the angel blade at his throat, he doesn't show it. "You're getting nothing from me."
She presses the blade into his throat, but he doesn't even flinch. She pulls back and takes a step away.
"Why are you protecting them?" she asks. Lucifer doesn't answer, so she continues. "Why do you want to save them? They are the reason you spent thousands of years in Hell. God threw you in there, and you know perfectly well he didn't do it alone. Don't you want revenge? They took away thousands of years of your life, and instead of getting back at them, you take the fall for their carelessness? For leaving you behind?"
"Yes," Lucifer says. "Yes, I did take the fall for them, and yes, I know I can get out of here by giving them up, and yes, I do know God did not throw me in the cage by himself. And guess what? That's not news to me! Okay? I know none of them like me, and honestly, I don't blame them. I don't like them either, and they know that too. So don't even bother with the 'you're better than them" talk, because that isn't what this is about. Do whatever you'd like, but just know that you aren't going to get anywhere with me."
"Then why are you doing this?" she asks. "If you don't like them, why try to save them? I'd say let them burn!"
"Maybe I just want to piss you off," he suggests.
Clearly this wasn't the answer she was looking for. "Ugh! I could just punch you!"
Lucifer chuckles weakly. "Would you like to?"
"What?" she snaps.
"Hey, if it makes you feel better," he replies, sounding amused. I guess she forgot he's an angel, because even I know a punch won't do much.
She slams her fist into his face with more power than I've ever seen, bringing his face to the side with her hand. He brings his head back center, a small smile on his lips.
"Nice shot," he says. "You definitely broke my nose. Probably shattered it, actually. Good job."
"You don't seem pretty upset about that," she observes cautiously. I don't blame her. If I broke someone's nose and they laughed it off, I'd be pretty worried.
"Now why would I be upset?"
"Well, I did just break your nose..."
"Yeah. You broke my nose. Good for you. Do you have any idea how many broken bones I've had? How many completely destroyed vessels I've used? This is nothing compared to what I've been through."
"Right," she says, slowly realizing what he's getting at. "Of course. The cage."
He scoffs. "Yeah, right. Screw the cage. Yeah, it sucked, but I wouldn't mind being back in there."
"What's worse than the cage?" she asks, clearly wondering how anything can measure up to complete solitude for thousands of years.
"Try my father." As soon as he says this, she seems to understand. "In the past few years I've been out, he's been worse than my entire time in the cage. And trust me, that's a big feat."
"I guess we both know what it's like to have a horrible father."
"Hey, I've never pretended to be anything but a horrible father for you," he replies, not sounding at all ashamed of it. "At least I don't sit up on a throne in the clouds, like I'm the best thing to ever exist."
"Does he actually have a throne?" she asks, sounding genuinely interested.
"Oh yeah. It's huge. I'm talking, like... I don't really know how to measure it, since it's in Heaven, and I don't really know how big things are in Heaven from a human's perspective. It's way too big and fancy, though."
"For someone who refuses to tell me where your family is, you sure seem ready to tell me everything else about them," the woman observes.
"Okay, first of all, they aren't all my family," he says. "There's God, who, unfortunately, is my dad, and there's this little angel who's just a pain in the ass, and there's my other brother who's actually pretty cool. He doesn't really like me, as much as he pretends he does, but hey, it's cool enough. The other four aren't family, though. They're just annoying. Especially the witch."
The other four? I count them quickly. Rob, Gabriel, and Cas he already counted, and clearly he isn't counting their human forms. Then there's Jared, Jensen, Ruth, and Crowley. What about me? I know I'm not the most interesting person, but I find myself kind of offended he forgot about me.
"The other four?" Unlike when I thought it, she seems happy about this. "So there are seven others. Good to know."
If Lucifer is kicking himself for saying that, he's keeping it pretty well hidden. His face is completely void of expression, just looking at her with tired eyes.
"So, where are they?" she asks, clearly hoping that since he let that slip, she can get him to let more slip as well.
"Somewhere," he replies vaguely. "You won't find them. Might as well give up now."
The woman, clearly getting fed up with him being his sassy self, grips her blade tightly and lunges at him, leaving a deep gash on his chest.
"You know you don't want this," she says. "Just tell me where they are."
"Mm... How about no?"
"If you don't-"
"Don't waste your breath," he says. "I'm not afraid of you, ya little bitch."
She lifts up the blade and shoves it forward, but she freezes suddenly, right above his heart. Slowly, she pulls away, laughing.
"Ah, I see what you're doing," she tells him. "You want me to kill you, don't you? You want to die. You hate your life so badly, you wish you were dead. It's because everyone hates you, right? Because you thought that as soon as you were free, you'd be welcome with open arms, like you used to be. That's why you left us, and it didn't work. The only thing that kept you going in the cage was the hope that you would be freed and back with your family, and since that didn't work out as planned, you don't want any of this."
Lucifer's quiet for a moment. Finally, he says, "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. It doesn't matter. You'll kill me if you want to, and you'll keep me alive if you want that. What I want doesn't really play into this."
"I'm right, though, right?" she asks. "You do wish you were dead."
"For someone who just met me a few hours ago, you seem awfully sure about my character," he observes.
"I knew it!" she says excitedly. "I freaking knew it!"
He sighs. "Whatever. Can we get to the knife part, or do I have to listen to you chatting for another few years?"
She grins. "Of course," she says, and kneels next to him. She puts her blade to his cheeks, the point digging into his skin. "Remember, you can stop this any time."
As soon as I watch the first cut, I know I will never be able to forget this. I won't go into detail, but I will say that I suddenly wish I was anywhere but watching this. I quickly turn my back to the room, leaning against the wall next to the door. I'll be able to hear whatever happens in there without having to watch it. It's quiet for a few moments, and I know she's using her blade.
"Hold that thought," she says. Suddenly, she's standing in front of me, a smile on her lips. "And who might you be?"
What do I do? What should I be doing? Why did no one tell me what to do if someone found me? Wait, yes they did. The blade. I'm supposed to use my blade, right?
In my moment of panic, she grabs my both my arms, and I lose my chance. She rips the blade from my hand and opens the door in front of us, dragging me by the arm into the room.
"Welcome to the party!" she says, dropping my hand to lock the door behind us. A chair flies toward us and she pushes me into it so I'm facing Lucifer. When I meet his eyes, they go wide as he realizing who I am.
"Stop!" he says immediately, looking up at the woman.
"What?" she says in shock.
"Stop," he repeats. "Let her go, and I'll tell you everything you want to know."
She looks between us, amused. "Damn, after all this, all I needed was one lousy human?"
"You don't want her," he says. "Just let her go."
"Tell me where they are first," she demands.
"Fine." He closes his eyes and says something silently. He seems to have an actual, full length conversation with whoever he's talking to instead of just the one question, and judging by his expression, I can tell he's not happy about it. Finally, he opens his eyes and gives the woman a cold look.
"He said they're regrouping at the entrance of the building."
"What did you just do?" she asks, confused.
"I was talking to my brother?" he replies, clearly not understanding why she's confused.
"Cool." She seems to actually find this cool, which I find weird. Why does she care about Angel Radio anyway? "Alright, I'll be back." She snaps her fingers, and suddenly my hands are tied behind the chair, and my ankles are bound as well.
"We had a deal," Lucifer reminds her.
She laughs. "Silly boy. You should know better than to trust a demon. You created us, after all." She gives him a wink before snapping out of the room.
As soon as she's gone, Lucifer'a head drops. He groans, trying and failing to adjust his position. He gives up and just slumps down in his chair.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Oh yeah," he says, so far beyond sarcasm, it's hostile. "Just peachy." He looks up at me. "Sorry. Not having the best of days today."
I nod. "So I've noticed."
"What's going on?" he asks. "What are you doing here?"
"Here as in this room, or here in general?"
"In general."
"Well..." Where do I start? Why am I here at all? How do I explain this whole mess? Oh well. I have to try. "What do you know already?"
"Nothing. Last I saw, we were still in the Massachusetts bunker. I wouldn't be here now if Gabriel hadn't asked me what happened to me."
"And you didn't answer?"
He shakes his head. "I didn't know myself."
"And you didn't think to tell him you were okay? Or at least alive?"
"I was tied to a chair with a knife to my throat. I wasn't really in the mood for a chat."
"Dude, they were, like, freaking out when they got back to the bunker and you hadn't poofed back!"
"First of all, I was surrounded by holy fire, so I couldn't really 'poof' back," he tells me. "Second, how about we get back to this and you tell me why the hell you decided to come here in the first place!"
He makes no secret of the fact he's pissed, and I don't really want to anger him more. I tell him everything. I tell him about Avery, and how they went here first without me, and that's when they lost him. I tell him about the second trip, and how it wasn't my idea to come. I may have thrown Jensen under the bus for that one, and Jared too when it came to being left alone before I found him. "But why didn't Mark tell you any of that?" I ask.
"I'm sure he tried," Lucifer tells me. "I just kind of zoned him out. Eventually he decided to shut up."
"And how come you let Mark come here instead of you?"
"I'm sure Gabriel told you. I've basically been ignoring everyone. It was great while it lasted."
"Well, it wasn't great for the rest of us!"
"No, it really was great for everyone, and I guarantee you that if Mark hadn't been an idiot, there would be absolutely no complaints right now," he tells me. "Trust me, on any other day, this would have been a welcome surprise for everyone."
"I don't get it," I say. "Why do you just assume everyone hates you?"
"Because they do," he says.
"What about Gabriel?" I suggest. "And don't say he only pretends he doesn't, because that's not true."
He looks at me in surprise, and then something seems to register. "How long had you been listening for?" he asks.
I guess my last comment didn't help me hide it. "The whole time," I admit. "I heard her open the door, and then I heard your voice, and I needed to see for myself."
He sighs, dropping his gaze to the floor. I guess I was right to skip that part in my brief overview of the day, because he clearly didn't want to hear that. It's quiet for a few moments.
"I know you want to ask," he says.
Wow, he's good. How do I ask this nicely? Or at least not extremely confrontational? Oh well, screw it. "Do you really wish you were dead?"
Without meeting my eyes, he answers, "I did. As soon as I went back to Heaven and saw how much things had changed, and how much everyone hated me, I did wish I was dead. And once again, it was Gabriel that kept me alive, purely because he didn't trust me enough to give me my blade to do it. Even now, I don't get my blade often because we don't have enough of the demon knives for Jared, Jensen and Crowley, so I have to share." He sounds a bit bitter at this. "Until recently, if I had had my blade and I was alone, I would have killed myself."
"What changed?" I ask.
Lucifer doesn't say anything, and after a few moments I realize he isn't going to. I try to continue the conversation, so we don't have to sit here in an uncomfortable silence until the woman comes back.
"Why didn't you tell her where we were?" I ask. "Why did you hold out so long?"
"Because I had to," he says. "I couldn't just give you up. I couldn't be the reason she got you."
"You didn't seem too concerned about that when you told her exactly who she was looking for," I remind him.
"That was all I was thinking about!" he protests.
"What are you talking about?"
"I did it for you, Bailey! I didn't forget you when I said there were seven others. I purposely didn't mention you so she wouldn't go after you. I didn't tell her where you were because I didn't want her to find you. All of this I did to protect you. I didn't care what happened, as long as you were safe."
I don't know what to say. How do you reply to this? What do you do when someone tells you they would have done anything for you? Given their life for you?
"Why?" I whisper.
He looks at me, seeming surprised he has to explain at all. "I knew, as soon as I met you, that you were going to be special. When you realized you were talking to the devil-the actual devil-and you didn't freak out at all, I knew you were different than anyone I'd ever met. You didn't just trust the stories you'd heard about me, whether it was from the Bible or the show. You actually listened to me, and you didn't run off when everyone told you that was best. And I know they did, numerous times. You treated me like a person, something no one has ever done before. I didn't care if I wasn't going to see you again. I wanted to make sure you were safe. It's the least I could do." He looks around the room. "Unfortunately, that didn't go so well."
I have no response for that. All I did was talk to him, and he's treating it like I changed his life. Maybe I did. If he's telling the truth, he'd never had an actual, unbiased conversation. The fact that he feels he owes me for not being a dick makes me feel bad for him. Clearly his life must suck if normal, human interaction is so amazing to him.
"What about the others?" I ask finally.
"What about them?"
"Did you really tell her where they were?"
"Yes, I did. I knew there was a possibility she'd keep you around in case I was lying. I wasn't going to take the chance."
"Lucifer!" I exclaim in shock.
"They'll be fine," he replies dismissively. "They always are. It's just demons, after all."
"Clearly, it isn't 'just demons' if they couldn't take 'em on as a group!" I remind him. "Now you say they're regrouping, so the demons basically only have to fight, like, two people at once?"
He inhales deeply. "Ooh, didn't realize that," he says. "Oops."
"'Oops'?" I repeat incredulously. "You might have just killed your friends, and your response is 'oops'?"
"Yeah, well, not a whole lot I can do about it now," he says. "Kinda tied to a chair surrounded by holy fire, remember?"
I take a few deep breaths, trying not to freak out at the angel in front of me. Hey, at least he didn't complain about me calling them his friends. That's something, right?
"You're mad at me now, aren't you?" he observes.
"You probably just killed our only hope of getting out of here," I remind him. "Yeah, I'm mad!"
"I didn't mean to!" he protests.
"That doesn't matter!" I shout. Why is this so hard for him to understand? "I know you may not like them, but I do, and I'd rather my new friends not be murdered by a bunch of demons!"
"It was bound to happen sooner or later."
I look at him in disbelief. How can he say that so easily? How can he talk about death so calmly, especially when it concerns the closest thing he has to friends? I take a deep breath and look up at the ceiling, not willing to meet his eyes.
"Aww, come on, the silent treatment?" He sighs. "Great. Just great."
After a minute, it starts getting awkward, but fortunately we don't have to wait much longer than that before the woman appears in front of us again. I notice Lucifer straighten up in his chair immediately, as if he doesn't want her to know she's affecting him at all. She seems pissed, and I know when she walks over to him, gripping the blade like it's going to save her life, this is not going to end well.
She slashes him ruthlessly, first the face, then the arms, and the chest. It's deeper and harder than any other cut she's made, and I can tell Lucifer is trying not to show his pain on his face.
"Liar!" she roars. "You told me I'd find them at the entrance! Well, I waited, and no one showed!"
"Baby, you should know better than to trust the devil," he says with a playful grin. "I created you, after all."
She makes a noise that can only be described as a growl before placing her blade over his heart. "Tell me where they are," she demands quietly, slowly pushing the blade in. I find myself wondering how much he can take before it kills him, but, fortunately I don't get the answer to that because she pulls out her blade and takes a step back. She wipes her blade on her bare arm and turns to me. "Let's try it this way."
"Wait!" Lucifer interrupts immediately. She turns back to him, a smile on her lips.
"Yes, Lucifer?"
"There's no point in this," he tells her. "I told you what I was told. As far as I knew, they were meeting at the entrance of the building. Clearly, they aren't as stupid as I thought, and they knew I was going to tell you. They aren't going to tell me anything now. You're wasting your time."
"Really? We'll see about that," she says, and walks up to me, standing next to me so she can still face Lucifer. She kneels down, placing her knife delicately at my throat. "Tell me where they are."
"I. Don't. Know!" he repeats. She leaves a small cut on my throat, and I try not to show it hurts. If Lucifer can deal with the wrath of God almost silently, I can handle a small cut. "I swear!" he insists. "I have no idea where they are. They're probably somewhere in the building, and they're probably meeting up now if they haven't already. Odds are, they'll be as far from the entrance as possible. If there's a door on the other side of the building, you can bet that's where they met, but they probably aren't still there. They know you have me now, and they know I'll talk. They'll want to stay as far from where I'd think they were, whether that means the opposite of where they'd usually be or exactly the same, I don't know. Your best bet would be to check the far side of the building."
She grins. "Thanks, Dad," she says with a wink before disappearing once more.
"What the hell was that for?" I shout once she's gone. "Didn't we just establish this was a bad idea?"
"Hey, calm down," he says quietly. "My guess is they aren't even here anymore. I said it was her best bet, and it was, but honestly, I have no idea where they are. They could be all the way in Switzerland for all I know."
"But you're still helping her find them!" I remind him. "You-"
"I'm really not in the mood for this whole yelling thing," he interrupts calmly. "Can you just... Not?"
"Seriously? You're expecting me to just shut up while you try to get your friends killed?"
"I'm not trying to get them killed," he protests. "I'm allowing them to get killed, but I'm not trying to. Subtle difference."
I look at him in disbelief. "That's not the point!" I shout. "You can't just-"
"But I did," he interrupts. "And I'd do it again."
"Why? Why would you do it again? How does this make any sense to you?"
"Because if I didn't, she would kill you," he replies quietly. "And I'm not going to let that happen."
"She's kept you alive," I remind him. "What makes you think she'd do any different to me?"
"She needs me. I'm her only source of information. To her, you're just leverage. She doesn't care about you. She would have stabbed you already if it wasn't for me. She knows now you're the only way to get me to talk, and she will do whatever she has to do to you to get me to. She wouldn't outright decapitate you, but she will continue to cut you until you bleed out."
"Well, maybe you should let her."
He looks shocked I'd even think that. "No way. This isn't your mess, and you aren't going to die for it."
"Better me than them."
He shakes his head. "No. Don't-" He stops suddenly. After a moment of staring off into nothingness, he looks back at me solemnly. "It's too late. She's got them."