Just Friends | Narry | Discontinued

nineteen

AN: back to Harry. It's short and doesn't compensate for the amount of time I took to update. But just know, I'll be updating sooner this time and it will be longer.
—

I can't get the look of his face out of my head, the pain in his eyes and the absolute devastation written across his face. His gaze was so painful that I couldn't help but she'd more than a little bit of tears, it was more than likely that everything he and I ever had- our friendship, our bond- was gone and if it wasn't then it'd sure as hell would never be the same, mostly because I could see no way of getting over this nor a way to get through it because I don't think he'll ever even want to be in the same room as me again.

I don't know what came over me, I'd just heard him confessing all of his feelings for me and I— I just did it.

I kissed him.

The worst part of it all is that I didn't regret doing it, I more-so regret stopping and that scared me. It made me forget Louis. An image of him flashed into my head when things were getting a little too heated and that's where the regret came in.

Louis didn't deserve any of this.

He's been so great to me, and as of late all that I've been doing, is distancing myself, questioning our relationship, not even meeting him halfway- figuratively and literally. I've literally avoided intimacy with him. But I went and kissed Niall with no hesitation, and the slightest bit of restraint. Had the image of Louis not flooded into my mind, who knows where things could've gone.

Louis deserves better and it's my job to be that- starting tomorrow. Because right now I wasn't nearly in the right state of mind to be thinking or acting clearly. I had hope that I'd be in a better place and Niall wouldn't take the situation to heart. I couldn't lose my best friend.

—

Nothing is okay.

We were at lunch and you could practically see the tension and feel it's intensity.

I'd peer at Niall every so often across the lunch table, wanting nothing more than to be able to cuddle and coddle him to death like I used to, I missed my best friend. A few times I would catch his gaze, and I'd try to flash a smile filled with the intent to repair, but all I got was a blank look and then he'd look away and smile over at Liam, and talk to him and he'd touch his arm— that should be me.

He was talking to every one but me— even Louis.

The most annoying part was that when he did talk to one of the other guys he'd look at me while doing it. Almost as if he were teasing me- mocking me as if to say 'you fûcked up' and there was no doubts in my mind that I did.

I should probably regret or feel some kind of guilt for kissing him.

But I spent the rest of yesterday and all of today so far assessing the situation, and the only guilt I could feel was what came from unwittingly (to him) putting Louis through this, and the regret of stopping and that scared me.

The only thing left to question was my motivation. Motivation for kissing him, the cause for my doubts with Louis.

Did I like Niall?

Did I want to be more than just friends?

At that moment all of those things that Louis used to list about Niall and I's friendship came back to me, at least how it used to me.

'Always seated next to each other'

'Always touching in some form or way'

'Playing with his hair'

Now that I actually looked back at it, I could see why someone would assume we were 'truly madly deeply' in love. We were inseparable. Were. That last thought caused my eyebrows to sink in sadness. Unwittingly (to me) I'd been staring Niall all the while I was in my thoughts.

"I'm absolutely parched— Harry! Come with me to the fountain, yeah?"

Before I could fully form even a word I was being yanked out of my seat by Zayn. I looked back in time enough to momentarily catch Niall's confused gaze before he returned his attention over to Liam.

When we were out of the Cafeteria and in the lobby, he let me go and crossed his arms.

"Talk." He said exasperatedly almost as if he were expecting me to spew some kind of bullshīt.  But honestly I needed to console in someone. I obviously can't with Liam he's clearly Team Niall here and Zayn— Well I'm not exactly sure.

"I kissed Niall."

I felt a light pain on my cheek.

He slapped me, not hard but the fact that he did at all took me by surprise.

"What the—"

"I told you not to do anything that would hurt Louis."

"Well I didn't really hurt Louis, he doesn't know."

"So you're planning on keeping this a secret."

"At least Until I figure what it means."

"Oh, so you're gonna lie until you figure out whether or not you've got feelings for someone else."

"It's not lying."

Smack.

"It is in my book cause you do realise you've cheated right?"

"I did not."

Smack.

"Yeah you did."

"Okay I did, I'm a cheater, now can you stop slapping me?"

Smack.

"Last time I promise," Zayn giggled, "that was just for admitting you're a cheater. But on a serious note you need to figure this out like now. If you do like Niall, you need to accept it now For Louis' sake and for mine."

"Yours?" I ask a bit confused.

"Yeah, I haven't hung out with Liam- without Niall- in almost a month."

"You looking for some alone time eh?" I teased, bumping his arm with my elbow.

"It's not like that at all, we're just friends."

(AN: DUN DUN DUN SPIN-OFF STORY REVEALED!! Lmfao I'm kidding.)

"Yeah right. You two are about as bad as Niall and I used to be."

"Not even." Zayn said waving me off, turning to walk away.

"Zayn," I called and he hummed in response, turning around halfway to look back at me, "you should tell him."

"I don't know what you're talking on about." He yelled over his shoulder as he went back into the cafeteria and I followed behind a few seconds later.

I took my seat as did Zayn.

A second later, Louis reattached himself to me and gave me a subtle kisses in the crook of my neck up toward my cheek.

But I was focused on the stare down I was currently locked in with Niall.