1 week. It's been 1 week since I stopped texting you first, Dan. 1 week since we've even spoken. I mean, sure, the last time we talked was an argument but whatever, right? I'm so over putting in all the effort. It's exhausting Dan, why don't you understand that?
I stopped texting you because I knew you were going to be angry for days and I didn't want another argument but a week? You can't be angry for a week, not over that argument. So I guess now I know that I'm the only one who cares so much about our friendship. I guess I know that you don't care at all.
I mean, you have other friends so why would you? Right? It's not like I'm your everything like you are mine. Isn't that right Dan?
I'm over this. I'm so fucking over this. I'm over you not fucking understanding anything. It's like I don't even know you anymore because we barely talk.
It just sucks. It really fucking sucks because it's always me. I'm always the stupid idiot who puts in everything until they have nothing left. If you needed an example, just look at our friendship.
What even is our friendship anymore? How did we end up like this? Was it because I fell in love with you? Was it because you fell in love with me too? Or was it because we dated and broke up? It was because I couldn't get over you, wasn't it Dan?
You always told me I'd find someone and I'd move on but when I did, it didn't feel right. They weren't you Dan. I just can't replace you.
You're always on my mind, did you know that? I'm always thinking about you. I'll see something funny and I think, "hey, Dan would've laughed at this." Everything is about you. I bake to get my mind off you and then I remember that you like baking. I go on a walk to look at the sunset and I remember that you were more beautiful than any sunset.
I hate you so fucking much, you really kill me Dan. The way you try and push me to like your friends, even though I try and tell you that they're assholes. You really don't see it, do you?
Then again, you were always blind.
Always went on about how lonely you were and how you wanted a boyfriend after we broke up, to my face. I mean sure, it was months after and we were best friends but still, you were too blind to see that you could have me if you just asked.
Oh wait, you knew, you just didn't want me. I wasn't enough for you. Everything about me was stuff you hated like the jealousy and the pushiness. You hated that. It's the reason we'd argue so much.
I don't know how we lasted as friends for so long considering we were so on and off but I'm tired. I'm exhausted. The constant arguing and how one minute you hated me and the next you were in love with me. I can't do it anymore Dan, I just can't.
I'm so exhausted. So, I guess this is it Dan.
Sent.
Dan: Okay, bye lol.
