Chasing the Clouds • 707 ✔

｢log 06/13｣ • day 17, 09.23 am

I was right.

No sooner did we enter his place, Seven ushers me to his room and locks himself away with his computer system.

"Don't get the wrong idea," He had said. "Stay in my room, and don't come over here."

Ouch.

"I don't have the time to stay until you feel better, I have a lot of work to do." He had added. "So don't bother me and relax. You can leave when you've calmed down."

Even if it is for work... Seven sure does know how to kill some feelings of mine.

On a chatroom a couple hours after we came here, Yoosung asks if he can come over to play LOLOL, only to be shot down by Seven.

And when the boy finds out that I was here as well, he is even more excited to come over.

"It's a shame I can't come over! I only saw you once, after all... Anyways! I hope things work out for you and Seven!" He had wished us well.

Too bad he doesn't know that Seven hasn't even once lifted his gaze away from the computer screen since we came here.

Why am I even here? Did I really think that me coming over would change anything? Seven is still the same person, forcefully pushing me away the more I try to get closer to him.

Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why do you hurt yourself so much this way?

He's not going to change...

I wish he would give in, this is so sad...

You have no choice but to kill your emotions.

My head reels as I think about all the different things that the RFA members had told me, and they were right.

But for once... How badly I wished that they were wrong.

This really can't be the end of us, could it?

Taking out the Arabic dictionary on one of his shelves, I step out of Seven's room and walk outside. And as I had guessed, he didn't even notice that I had left, much less came back with my hands full of grocery bags.

His fridge, I see, is stocked with cans, and cans, and more cans of Dr.Pepper. All the kitchen drawers are filled to the brim with potato chips.

Dear Lord, is this the only thing he ever eats?

As I make space and stock the fridge with juice, milk, and fruit, I wonder what Jumin would think if he finds our that this is what I'm doing with the money he had very generously deposited for me.

When I finish preparing toast- I also had to buy a pan because God forbid he has any- I step out to call Seven for breakfast.

This is when I find out that he is asleep, resting his head on the keyboard. His computer screen is black, showing it was idle for quite a while now.

I wish I could write here that I put a blanket over him and retreated back to doing whatever I was supposed to do.

But no, I chose to drag the swivelling chair in his room all the way outside, and I sit beside him.

He's so pretty, I could cry.

Oh Seven, look how amazing it feels when you don't have to say hurtful things to me...

I give in to temptation and run my fingers through his fine red-orange hair. His glasses had come off a little loose, and I wished that I could see his golden irises right then.

"Careful what you wish for," Jaehee had advised me once, and I really should have listened.

Because Seven wakes up right then, his squinty eyes locking with mine before they go wide.

"What?!" He cries, jolting up. His glasses come off to the keyboard, and he continues to stare at me wide-eyed; as if waiting for a reaction.

I stand up and hand him his glasses, not wanting to explain myself.

Or rather, I didn't know how I could explain myself.

And when I walk to the kitchen, he follows me, his eyes widening further when he sees the food.

"You... Did you?"

"I did." I confirm.

"Why?"

"Please just calm down and eat."

To my surprise, Seven sits down and begins to pour maple syrup over his toast.

I sit down beside him with coffee, and he lets me know that the food is good.

I wonder if it is his goal in life to make sure that I don't smile, because when I smile after hearing his comment, there is something he has to add.

"Are you doing this to force me to like you?"

Now that fully wipes off the smile on my face.

"That is really a very horrible thing to say, Seven. I genuinely made this for you because I was concerned for your health, and because I wanted to."

And I step outside the kitchen, back to his room, where I lay, crying my eyes out.

I think I heard the security system lock sometime ago, but I have no will to go out and check.

Maybe I should have listened to Jumin and killed my feelings, instead.

---

a/n: hey y'all!
i wanted to ask for your opinions, do you want this book to end as an angst or a fluff? I am accepting suggestions and ideas, so please let me know what you think! ❤