Diary of the Unbroken (BOOK #4)

Heart Over Head

William 

The pain was hard to escape.

I had suffered decades of vervain injections. I had felt the press of a stake just inches from my heart. I had felt the sun at its highest and hottest without my shot of Mela. I had felt my father beat me and my heart break time and time again.

But now, physically and emotionally, I just wanted to feel numb. Feeling numb meant making this less of a reality. Both whatever had been injected into my system and harsh reality of the deal Daniel struck.

Seeing Ava felt like a gift and curse all the same.

The reality of the prophecy hadn't settled in until she confirmed it. I felt my stomach sink as I laid on the couch. I felt my bones go cold. I was going to be a father, but instead of any amount of joy, I felt nothing but fear.

This child was going to be born in the worst possible circumstances. People falling left and right. All because of it. This war was happening over a person who knew nothing. Who didn't know what world he—or she, I guess—was coming into?

"How are you doing?"

I looked up to see Bernard coming towards me. I tried lifting myself into a sitting position, but I fell backwards onto the couch in pain.

"Not any worse," I told him.

"That's good," he said, sitting down beside me. "Where's Ava?"

I sighed. "I don't know. In her room, upstairs somewhere, maybe. She's got a lot going on."

"Yes," Bernard nodded. "So it seems."

"You didn't know either, I'm guessing."

"I knew something was wrong," he said, his expression crazed. He looked as tired as ever, especially for a vampire. "The fact that it was this...I should have seen it. But I guess I was too preoccupied with my own problems. I didn't recognize the larger ones at hand."

"Do your own problems have something to do with what you and Jacqueline have been doing for the past few months?"

He pressed his lips together, avoiding my gaze. "Yes, it does."

I swallowed. "What? Is something wrong? I mean, with you two— "

"Not with us, necessarily." He cleared his throat. "Since you all left and came here to Newberry, Jacqueline and I...we had to figure things out."

"Between the two of you?"

He sighed, not bothering to meet my gaze. His own eyes were unsteady, as if he was anywhere but here. "Love is hard, William. I am sure you recognize that. Maybe more than anyone. Sometimes things get in the way."

I felt my heart pulse a singular beat—a beat of panic. It was like a child being told that his parents were separating. In fact, this might as well have been just that.

"You two can work things out. After all these years together—"

"Yes, I believe we can, but...A lot has happened in our years together, especially recently—"

"This has to do with Ava doesn't it?" I asked him, managing to pull myself up. Ignoring the physical pain due to the emotional pain of the moment. "Ava and me and Daniel and the Bloody Barons."

"Red Barons," he correctly. "And no, it's not you or Ava. I...I got in over my head. I made a promise to Jacqueline a while ago that I wouldn't go back to that life. That I would be my own person without the hold of Daniel. And for a while, I was successful. But then there was a girl—Valerie. I discovered who she was, Daniel's daughter. I knew that at any point in time she could be in danger. Especially with the prophecy."

I swallowed. "You knew about the prophecy?"

"I knew it was a story. I never thought it to be true. Not until I met Valerie and learned what I learned. I kept in contact with her after we first met. Then her sister was in trouble. You know that story. You were as much a part of it as I was. But that was where things started to go downhill for this last time. Jacqueline and I...we built our relationship on trust, and here I was keeping all of these secrets. Whether for her protection or my own...Reality hit when she discovered the truth. We decided to stay back not just for the house but to figure out ourselves and where we stood in our relationship."

I licked my lips wryly. "And where is that?"

"We're given it time. Right now, we have forever, and we have other problems. Ours are menial in comparison to others."

"I...I wish I would have known," I said, my voice unsteady.

"You were busy."

"I just...I feel so useless. I feel like I made things worse. With you and Jacqueline with Ava and her father...This whole prophecy...How determined he is to get just what he wants. But it doesn't make sense. It's baby. Not even born yet."

"But the second it's born could change everything."

"I can't let him have her," I told him "Not Ava or this child."

"But you're not going back," Bernard insisted. "He's had you. He's on the way to getting the information he needs."

"I...I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't have let him had his way." I felt my eyes grow heavy in a way they hadn't in such a long time. The part of me that was still human, the result as having Derek as a father, arose.

"That's the thing about you, William. I have said it before and I will say it again. You are one who thinks with your heart. Not your head. That is what makes you special. That is why the good will win. That is what will get you everything you want."

":ۏ/Б