Diary of the Unbroken (BOOK #4)

Lost Souls

Liv's POV

Two pills left.

I shook the remainder into my hand, throwing the bottle back into the drawer. There was no use in hiding it anymore. Hanson knew. He knew the secrets I was keeping from him and he resented me for dragging out of my life only to suffer in the end. But he didn't understand.

He didn't know how it felt—the pain in my bones without the pills. The way my vision blurred and I couldn't see straight. It was more than the wrinkles and graying hair. Without the pills, I would accelerate towards death. I would be dead in weeks.

The pills gave me an extension. They gave me time to right my wrongs. But being given time—it only presented the build up of the anxiety in my chest.

Ava was gone. She was gone and everyone in the house walked around like zombies.

In the last couple of days though, there was something new in the air. Some sense of determination. William began looking less like a lost puppy and more like a forged warrior, broken and bruised, but on a mission.

Ava.

I had made far too many mistakes when it came to my relationship with her. We had always refused to face each other with the truth. It was only when it built up, all the pent up rage, we would blow up at each other. I didn't want to blow up anymore.

Hanson.

No matter how much I wanted to hate him, most of all I hated him for how he felt about me. I hated how he would do anything to keep me well and alive.

He gave me that look. The look that said, "You're an idiot, but I'm not going to lose you." I didn't deserve him. Not the person he'd become. Maybe the one he was before—the monster who brought me into this life. But the whole transition-bond things had created someone else. Someone who cared. Who care far too much.

I took my last two pills, swallowing them dry. Then I picked up my phone and dialed the number.

No one picked up.

I licked my lips as the voicemail answered. "Sadie," I said. "It's me. We need to meet. Tomorrow morning at Brookside bakery."

Sadie always answered her phone. My Hunter savior was always there on the other line. I swallowed thinking about all the possible reasons for her no answering. Nothing good.

I lowered myself to the bed, cradling my head in my hands.

Lately, even the pills couldn't diminish the aches. My head continued to pang. It was true. I couldn't escape my imminent death, no matter how long I tried to prolong it. Eventually the pills would stop working all together. Eventually they would be worthless.

As I sat there, I felt a vibration. I picked up my phone, but it remained off.

Then I dug under the covers, pulling out another phone. Hanson's.

I immediately recognized the number. It was the same number I has just dialed.

That sneaky bastard.

I answered the phone, pressing it to my ear. Silent.

"Hanson?" Sadie's voice sounded on the other end. "I...I think I have something that can help Liv. But I don't know if you're going to like it."

The bedroom door swung open, Hanson coming it. I hung up on Sadie and looked at him.

"You got a phone call," I told him, keeping my voice steady.

He glanced at where I held his phone. "Liv..."

"What the hell are you doing, Hanson?"

He straightened up. "You keep your secrets. Why can't I have mine?"

My unsteady heart hammered. I repeated the words now, saying them through my teeth. "What the hell are you doing, Hanson?"

"I can't do this, Liv. I can't see you like this. These pills—they aren't saving you. You are only putting off the inevitable. And when it comes...I can't watch you die. If you die, I will die."

"Hanson—"

"Jane and I—we went to the Hunter's headquarters a few weeks ago. There was only one Hunter there. The rest of them gone. A girl—"

I pressed my lips together. "Sadie."

"Sadie. She said she the one 'helping' you. I told her if she was going to help, she had to do more."

"So what are you doing?"

"We're working on a cure."

"A cure—Hanson. I thought the cure was gone. You said it was gone."

"And it is. All evidence of Celia's research has vanished just as the Originals said. But I'm not giving up, Liv. I refuse to. You want to live, don't you? You keep taking this pills, just extending the inevitable. But you are going to die. Unless I find a solution."

"You are fighting a pointless battle, Hanson," I told him. "I've accepted my fate. You should too."

"If you accepted it, then why are you running rampant trying to call Sadie. Trying to get your fix. You are an addict, Liv. If you truly didn't care about dying, you would stop taking them. You would let your hair gray and your body stop working. You would let yourself die. You're not ready."

I felt the aches and the pains of the truth in my bones. Hanson just stared at me with those eyes—the eyes that cared far too much. Over and over again, I continued wanting ot hate them. But I couldn't.

He turned away, starting back out the door.

Then I finally spoke. "They're not working," I told him.

He glanced over his shoulder at me. "What?"

"I mean, not like how they were before. My body—I think it's growing immune or something. That or whatever Celia first injected me with is fighting back. Yeah, I can keep taking them. I want to keep taking them. But not to extend the inevitable. Because they make me feel alive again. I don't want to live the time I have left in misery. I want to be happy. I want to feel good."

"It's a drug, Liv—"

"I don't care! I don't care what it is, Hanson. The fact is, this is what I want. I'm already dying, so can't you just give me that much?"

"I'm not giving up on you, Liv. I won't stop."

"Well, you should," I told him. "It's not worth it. Not worth your life or mine."

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