Ask Me Anything

Chapter 11

"Dumb?"

"Dumb as a rock. It's actually quite sad."

Lucas and I were each sitting with our own milkshake on the boardwalk talking about my new assignment with Troy at work. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate Troy, but when you go from Gay Best Friend Greg to the human equivalent of a brick wall, it was an unfortunate adjustment period.

For example, do you remember how I told you that he was trying to hit on me? Well, that was pretty much the only time where his brain let him get creative: when it was about hitting on women. I'm serious, the amount of times he forgot to switch things on, fasten people into the ride, or lock the door of the booth at close was just sad, and I could only assume the person he had as a rookie before me must have really had to pick up the slack since no one had died on the ride since the park opened.

"How dumb are we talking here?" he asked, taking another long sip from his shake. 

I chuckled, almost choking on mine. "Well, you know how Ryan Lochte is pretty attractive, but also sadly, a total dumbass?" 

He nodded and I pointed at him. "Then you understand my predicament." 

He laughed. "It's not really a predicament though, since you have a boyfriend," he reminded me. 

It sounded really strange coming from him. It felt like everyone could tell there was some attraction between Lucas and I, so whenever he brought up that Christian and I were an item, it kind reminded me and probably him as well how awkward it was that we were just trying to be friends. 

"Yeah, I feel kind of bad about that," I mentioned, playing with my straw and looking out at the ocean off to my right. "I feel like he must get jealous seeing me with him every day, and despite the fact that I keep telling him he has nothing to worry about, I still get the feeling it's weighing on his mind when he's working with Julianna." 

"Who's Julianna?" Lucas asked, shifting in his seat and smiling mischievously. 

I rolled my eyes. "How can you be interested in her already when you've only heard her name?" I scoffed. It came out a little more envious than I had wanted it to. If you're thinking that I needed to get my life in order, you wouldn't be wrong.

He shrugged. "I don't know, that just sounds like a attractive name to me. You don't get a name like 'Julianna' without being at least somewhat more attractive than the average person." 

I stared at him in confused disbelief. "Your logic is flawed, my friend, very severely flawed. And here I thought you were this quiet, sensitive guy." I paused before continuing, "You're right though, she's gorgeous" causing him to fist pump in the air. 

"I knew it!" he cheered. 

I gave him a sarcastic round of applause as he stood up and bowed to an audience completely in his head. 

"Are you proud of that?" I asked, as he sat back down. "Guessing a woman's appearance based on her name? Is that some superpower of yours, Horny Man?" 

He shook his head at me, a flirtatious grin on his face. "You just don't like that I'm right. And even for you, 'Horny Man' is weak."

My mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?" I asked defensively. "I didn't think it was that bad." I paused, listening to it in my head again. "Eh, it could have been better." 

He shrugged. "What can I say, I guess I'm just on a roll today," he laughed confidently. 

I held my hand up at him. "Alright, buddy, take your ego and turn it down like 3,000 notches, before you take Earth and throw it off it's axis."