For Old Times' Sake

Chapter 1

Exhaling slowly, you smoothed your skirt down. You were getting ready for your first day at the Behavioural Analysis Unit, and your nerves were out of control.

It wasn't because it was your first day. No, that was fine. You had an impressive personality, and you were a natural when it came to interviews.

Especially since this was a job you had wanted to get.

"Man, you'll be so good as a profiler Y/N. I hear they're looking for someone. With your creds, you'd get in just like that." Raymond had said. Influenced by him, you had applied and gotten in.

But what your co-agent and friend hadn't told you was that the unit chief of the B.A.U. was Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner.

Aaron Hotchner.

His name echoed in your head as your mind flew back to the magical years of high school.

------

Psychology class. At 8.

You were falling asleep on the book when your best friend Aaron nudged you awake.

"Y/N. What the heck are you doing? Don't sleep, otherwise I'll feel sleepy too! Pay attention."

"Hooootch. Lemme catch up on my sleep."

"Why don't you do that at night? And why do you call me that?" he looked at you with his staple stern expression on his face.
You grinned at him. "I call you Hotch because I like it. It's personal, my name for you. And I can't catch up on my sleep at night because I'm too busy getting all sweaty thinking about you."

Hotch rolled his eyes, masking a smile. "I have a girlfriend, Y/N. Please don't be so inappropriate."
Your heart sank as you heard the word 'girlfriend'. Of course. Aaron's beautiful, blonde Juliet: Haley Brooks. They were perfect.

You loved Haley. She was great, and she made Aaron happy.
The problem was that you loved Aaron too.
"Relax, Mr. Brooks. I'm not going to steal you from anyone," you replied, turning your face away.

Suddenly Professor Walker's voice rang out. "Y/N, I can see you talking. I think some extra credit is in order. Why don't you stay back after class with Aaron for an hour till the both of you learn to behave?"

"Every. Time. Y/N. You get me in trouble every time." Hotch grumbled, disapproval written all over his face.
You weren't listening, though. It was just the way his eyes were. Deep. Intense with emotion, even when he was not serious. Or maybe it was his hair. Gorgeous, thick black hair you had run your hands through once or twice before to irritate him.

Whatever it was, you couldn't tear your eyes off of him.

And then he smiled widely, laughing a little.

God, you wanted to touch his face so badly, just trace your fingers over his beautiful dimples.

"Stop staring at me," he said, lightly tapping your forehead.

You gave him a weak smile.

Haley was so lucky.

Whatever time you had left in school flew by as you slowly started to distance yourself from Hotch. You spent more time on studies, trying to save yourself from the heartbreak you knew was coming.
He didn't even realise it, happy in his life with Haley.
He proposed to her at prom.

Your plan of distancing yourself failed miserably as your heart shattered when he went down on one knee for her.

You had cried for hours at home, holding yourself and replaying the memory of him hugging you when you had gone to congratulate him because Haley had said yes.

"Thank You for everything," he had said in your ear as you had allowed yourself to shed a few tears on the shoulder of his tux.
"I love you." those were the last words you had ever said to him as he was pulled away by his friends to celebrate.

------

The thought of his marriage brought you crashing down to reality.

Some quick digging done in panic had resulted in you finding out about Haley's death at the hands of Foyet, and the fact that Hotch had a seven-year-old son named Jack.

Then, for the first time, you had felt terrible for never having called him after school ended, afraid that the love you had for him would turn into resentment if you kept in touch.
The cliched quote about letting someone you love go floated through your mind as you stepped out of your apartment and walked to your car.

***

You braced yourself as you got out of the elevator. Walking confidently, you breezed through the glass doors and stopped at the desk of a strikingly young and smart-looking agent.

"Hi. Can you tell me where SSA Hotchner's office is?"
"Uhh... Up those stairs, first one on the left," he said, pointing to a door.

Saying thanks, you made your way to it and knocked. Blood roared in your ears as images of Haley and Hotch flooded your brain.

"Come in," said a familiar husky voice.

Drawing in your breath, you turned the doorknob.