Lustfully and Forever Yours

Chapter Five: Waiting and Wanting

Chapter Five:

*Xavier POV*

My entire being is unable to find peace at this point, as if oxygen it's self has been taken from me. I feel my sanity slipping away. My mind focuses on nothing yet everything. As if the world and fates themselves are taunting me. Am I doomed to wander aimlessly with the bliss of being complete always slipping from my grasp. Leaving me in a sea of madness I cannot out swim nor tread alone. The safety of my hearts desire ignites a fury in my soul that sparks madness in my being.

I have long passed the stage of irritation and have devolved into a paranoid heap, a walking corpse deprived of life's blessings. My teachings, faith and purity have forsaken me. The gods no longer bless me with vision nor clarity.

I've moved to the gloomiest tower of the mausoleum that I once thought to be a home but is now a cage for my soul. Staring aimlessly with longing and my inner tranquility and wisdom slips from me.

Waiting and wanting, wanting and waiting.

The first sparks of daylight begin to show themselves banishing the nights darkness and shining through the fog. I dread every day and night, as if they exist to only torment me. I fear depression has consumed me. Leaving me to resort to locking myself away from those I swore to protect. I am a failure as an alpha, as a priest and most sore fully as a mate.

I rise from the hard old wooden chair, looking around the room that is a drab and murky as my mind. Old, dark and cold with furnishing not even suitable for a prisoner of war. The room has only to things in it. Myself and the chair I resided in for the last how many days of which i've lost count. Sensing something within myself I feel an urgency to run, to go to someone. I move with a speed I thought I've long lost only to fall before I can reach the door. My mind clouds dragging me unconscious taking me but not without a fight.