Tortured - Jaele

|| Chapter Eighteen ||

"Barro's okay?"

He points to a pizza shop on the corner. I shrug.

"It's fine."

I can't remember the last time I had pizza. I wasn't even in the mood for it before but suddenly I was starving. My left hand was shaking and could no longer offer my chin support so I stuffed it under my thigh and kept my gaze steady on the shops and people wandering past the window. The streets were slick with rain and the sky had taken on a twilight purple glow. Jace turns on the radio, a song I loved was playing. I wanted to hum, I wanted to tap my feet and sing along with the carefree words. But I sat there, like a rock, unseeing anything but stop lights and raindrops. When he finds a space parked close enough to the restaurant, he looks at me.

"Wanna come?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes,"

I'm not looking at him. He grabs my chin and makes me look. His eyes were gleaming and I can see small red welts on his neck where the collar of his shirt fits just over his collar bones. I drag my eyes away from the mark and look at the bridge of his nose. He doesn't even notice.

"Yes, I'm sure."

He releases my chin and slips out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. My eyes become hard on those keys. The sleek, silver BMW keychain sways gently back and forth, tempting me. I reach out and my fingers embrace the tip of the lock button. Looking towards the entrance of the restaurant, I see Jace has disappeared quickly. I wonder if it's a trick. If he's setting me up to "Abuse" me again. I brush my hand over my chest, my lips are suddenly dry. The abuse that left me weak and trembling and burdened with heat. If I can get away now, I'll never have to worry about him and his body again. I'll never have to fear what is hands can do when he gets angry enough.The keys gently jingle and it's a sound that brings me back to the moment I've been wallowing in. Why is this such a hard choice? It should be simple. Stay and continue to be his mentally suppressed slave. Or drive off in his car and pretend none of this ever happened?

Can I do that? Can I easily forget? I feel my head begin to ache and when I look up again Jace is returning with a pizza box and small brown paper bag that reads Barro's best Pizzeria in bold blue letters with a grinning chubby italian man in a chefs hat and apron on the front. My fingers lip away from the keys and I sit back in the seat, turning my head to make it look as if I've been checking the time. The driver's side door opens, Jace passes me the pizza and the bag and then we're off. Back to the apartment which is my hell. Back into a life I've been wanting to escape. We're playing again in his game. The pizza smells gorgeous and I can feel gobs of saliva building in my mouth. I glance at Jace.

"Do you mind if I-"

"Go ahead,"

He replies, not taking his gaze off the road. I flick the pizza box open and welcome the hot, steamy scent of too much cheese and tomato sauce on a fluffy buttered crust. The first slice taste like heavy when it's in my mouth. I chew slowly, savoring each bite and then I close the box, wiping the greasy corners of my mouth with a napkin from the little paper bag. I wait in silence, holding that box as if Promise was in my lap.

Jace -

I'm tight. Like a vacuum sealed ziplock bag. I'm uncomfortably tight. When I opened the door to the apartment I went straight to the shower. My clothes were off in an instant and I was leaning under the scalding cold water in no time. I'd love to say that I was in control, but I wasn't. And she didn't know that. She doesn't know a lot of things. Like the fact that I'm falling in love with her. It wasn't because of the sex, or the submission either. It's something that's always been. But just now, in the car on the way home. I figured out that I love the way she eats pizza. I love the way she can seem angry and adorable at the same time. I loved how her eyes slightly cross when she doesn't want to look at me directly. I love her.

I feel the water dripping down my neck and look up. It's been 3 maybe 3 months. What am I going to do with her? How am I going to make her fall in love with me? How am I going to make her see that I'm only the big bad wolf when I want to be? I turn the shower off and stand over the drain, looking down at myself. The swelling hasn't gone down. I turn the shower on again and close my eyes. If I were in control, things would be different.

...

When I come out of the shower, Riele has the pizza box on her lap. Her lips are shining and her cheeks are full. I sit on the bed next to her in my towel, she reminds me of a squirrel stuffing its cheeks with nuts. She doesn't look at me, but studies the Barro's logo on the box as if she was reading a book. I'm not hungry for food, but skin. Contact, heat, physical touch.

"Listen,"

I turn to sit with my back to her and brush my fingertips through my hair.

"What if I make you a deal?"

I wait for her response, hearing the box shift on the comforter behind me.

"What do you mean?"

Her voice is small and hopeful. I let my hand rest on the base of the towel and clear my throat.

"I mean, I'll let you go. I'll let you go home and we can pretend like this never happened but-"

She's quiet. So quiet I can almost hear her breathing.

"But you have to do something for me."

I turned around to face her and saw her brown eyes were wide, she stared at me, hanging onto the very last edge of my words. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and untied the towel. Riele moved back at first, but I grabbed her hand. She froze, I could see the muscles tensing in her wrist. We didn't break eyes contact as I laid her palm on my throbbing manhood. Then she lowered her eyes as I sighed.

"Can you do this for me? I promise, you can leave soon. I don't need to keep you anymore."

I whispered, drawing her closer. She nodded, as if in a trance and her hand began to smooth up and down me, causing rippled of pleasure to tie themselves around my spine. I relaxed, laying back on the bed. I let her work, muttering my praise to her. Will I let her go? After this, I won't have to.

Thanks for reading!