Tortured - Jaele

|| Chapter Forty ||

Chapter forty -

Jace -

I didn't know what to do with her at first, so I didn't do anything. I held her in my arms and I stared down at her face like the first time I saw her. The first time she had been this close to me. Her eyelashes were kissing her cheekbones, she was thinner than I remembered. Her hair was longer, almost down to the edge of her back. Her skin, velvet and clear like it's always been. Her slightly parted lips, plump and perfectly round christened with a soft dewy appearance. While studying her, I observed that she was broken. She looked as broken as I felt and maybe more. I picked her hand up and examined her long delicate looking fingers, the pure-toned white of the tips of her fingernails. This is an angel, I reminded myself. Your angel.

Before, I would have stopped myself from thinking so. But now that we had been so close to the edge of the death together, I felt that I could trust myself with these emotions. Once and for all. One look at her and all the hope I had in my heart for us was restored. Whether she realized it or not, we needed each other. Like the sun needs the moon, and the stars need the sky. There was no denying that anymore. I wish there was a way that the hands of time could be turned back and I had that second chance I haven't been able to get out of my mind. The past can't be taken back or changed. But the future can. I carried Riele over to the chaise lounge chairs and laid her gently onto one.

When she stirred slightly, I sat down slowly beside her and waited. The subtle fact that she had been once carrying my child, further buried me in my guilt. That ledge held more promised for me than ever before now. I forced myself to fold my hands into my pockets, holding my breath. Riele opened her eyes and drew in a deep breath, glancing around at the environment with confusion. Her eyes landed on me and she fought to sit up.

"What? What did you just say?"

She stammered.

"I know- I know you thought that when you were pregnant it was by Chance but... that baby was because of me. Riele, I'm so sorry."

I said, shaking my head. She only stared at me, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes. Maybe deep down she knew... Maybe she felt it.

"Why did you do... All of this to me?"

She whispered quietly, motioning to the rooftop and all the horrible inhumane struggles I put her through.

"I don't- I don't know."

"There has to be a better answer than... I don't know, Jace."

"I love you."

I said, staring at the neckline of her robe.

"Don't."

My eyes flew up to her face and she swiped her fingertips over her cheeks. She wasn't done hurting and as obvious as it was neither was I. Would we ever be?

"I'm sorry."

"You know what the sickest part about all of this is?"

She asked in a soft, barely audible tone. I held her gaze, the back of my throat had become dry and scratchy. My heart was a pulsating reminder of anxiety, as I waited for her to continue.

"I don't know how or why but, I-I..."

The more she continued to speak the worse her emotions vied out of her. She struggled to say the words, looking as if this common reality between us was confusing and upsetting, but just apart of her life now.

"I love you too."

I opened my mouth to say something, but she stopped me.

"It's not what you think, it's not because you ruined my life and I'm still stuck under your tedious brainwashing. But that feeling that something is wrong... That something isn't right with me. That went away the minute that I saw you again. It hurts... So fucking badly."