Lazarus Project: Mass Effect 2 (Shenko)

Chapter 4

Milky Way/Serpent Nebula/Widow System/Citadel

Earth year: 2183 CE --- March

After the Alliance rescued the crew from the evac shuttles, Garrus stood stiff with silence with the rest of the survivors in the cargo bay of the Agincourt.

He couldn't believe Shepard was gone. He just couldn't. He wasn't numb and he wasn't broken, but he was certainly in shock. When he learned how it had happened, he hadn't been surprised. That Shepard's final act had been to save Joker's life was just as he'd expected of her. Though by what he'd seen, he was certain Joker wished she hadn't. The man was a blubbery mess. He'd never seen anyone so wracked by guilt and grief as when he'd seen Joker as they'd taken him to the ship's med bay.

Gone was Joker's jovial demeanour and his crooked grin. Even the light had gone from Joker's eyes – the same light that had spurred him to prove his worthiness to become Normandy's pilot. But even Joker's emotional distress had been nothing compared to what he saw in Kaidan. The Lieutenant just stood there, apart from everyone, his arms limp at his sides, flinching whenever anyone got too close. Garrus had never seen anyone as lost as the Lieutenant clearly was. He admired Kaidan's courage and tenacity and his dedication to his job. His respect for the soldier had increased over the months they'd fought alongside each other, then deepened more when he'd learned Alenko an L2 - the same biotic who had survived his ordeal at BAat.

Garrus knew all about BAat, his father having told him about it. Vyrnnus' death had been played down, but his father had known Vyrnnus. Didn't like him, but knew him and had been in a position to know the details of how he'd died. Despite that, Garrus might still have known nothing about the place if not for the fact that at the time he was being considered for Spectre training. Contacts within the Turian Hierarchy who knew his father had requested his assistance in handling Vyrnnus' remains. No one had wanted the details of his death known, yet Garrus had overheard his father talking and knew everything.

When he'd first met Alenko, he'd had no idea Kaidan was the one responsible for Vyrnnus' death. Even after he was aboard the Normandy, he might still have never connected the two if he hadn't overheard Shepard mention the dead turian's name. Curious, he had listened in on their conversation, even as he kicked himself for doing so. Afterwards, he'd looked upon Kaidan with new respect, marveling how that one event had served to shape the course of the young human's life, turning him into a dedicated and respected Alliance soldier.

He understood what Kaidan had overcome to get where he was. To see him so broken now was devastating, yet he knew there was nothing he could do. He had no experience with human emotions, but he understood how passionate and intense they could be. The events of the First Contact War was proof of that.

Garrus was uncomfortable with even the idea of offering comfort to the Lieutenant – he knew whatever he might say or do now would just make things worse. Instead, he settled for offering Tali a shoulder to cry on. But he was just as surprised by Liara's behaviour as he was dismayed by Kaidan's. Everyone who had served with Shepard were devastated by her loss, yet Liara stood apart from them all. She was crying, but seemed aloof and separated from everything around her. He felt the loss as much as anyone, but he was also turian. He had no natural ability to share or express his grief, so he channelled the confusing wash of emotion into comforting Tali - the only one who welcomed his offer of comfort.

When they'd arrived at the Citadel, he had wondered what in Spirits name he would do now. When Anderson offered them the use of his apartment, he'd accepted. He was in no hurry to run back to C-Sec, despite what he'd told Shepard. He'd also been unable to deny the sense of relief he felt when Tali said she was returning to her people. It was the perfect excuse to put off making a decision of his own. So he made arrangements for transport before letting Tali know he intended to travel with her back to the Flotilla.

To say she was surprised would be an understatement, but had accepted his offer without question. Whether she understood his reasons or simply because she didn't want to make the trip alone, he didn't know, but he was grateful when she didn't question it.

At the service, it was obvious both Moreau's and Alenko's emotional state had not improved, if anything they'd gotten worse. It was heart-breaking to see – they'd all been so close and Shepard's death had torn the crew apart as thoroughly as the enemy ship had torn through the Normandy.

Liara though, was much the same as she had been, yet here, at Shepard's memorial she was agitated. She was anxious to the point that it seemed to take everything she had to remain seated. He watched as she checked and double checked something on her omni-tool, oblivious to the events around her.

What the hell was Liara up to? He wondered. She was practically vibrating withenergy, so much so that he half expected her to bounce out of her seat and float out the door. Whatever she was about, he intended to find out and made a note on his omni-tool to track her down when he returned from the taking Tali home.

As they left the service, the sound of Kaidan's voice surprised him. Turning, he was startled by the naked look of pain he saw in Kaidan's eyes before the Lieutenant pushed past him, disappearing into the crowded hall of the Presidium.

"Tali." He said. "What was that about?"

"Shepard." Tali said softly. "Let's go Garrus. I'm ready to go home now."

"Of course." Garrus said, falling into step beside her. "But really Tali, what was that? I haven't heard Kaidan speak since..."

"I just told him that if he needed a friend he could contact me." Tali said. "Shepard would be so unhappy with how everyone has been behaving."

"I..." Garrus began, a hitch in his voice at the mention of Shepard's name. Clearing his throat, he tried again, his voice rough. "I hadn't thought of that. But yeah Tali, you're right. She would be disappointed with all of us."

"It would break her heart." Tali whispered, her voice threatening to break again. "It's why I knew I had to try one more time. To reach him, you know?"

"You're a good friend Tali." Garrus said as they boarded the transport he'd acquired for their trip. "Shepard would be proud of you."

"Thanks Garrus." Tali said, sniffling. "I just hope it makes a difference."

"So do I Tali. So do I."