Lazarus Project: Mass Effect 2 (Shenko)

Chapter 60

Milky Way/Omega Nebula/SSV Nomad

Earth year: 2185 CE –-- September

Kaidan was in the mess of the Nomad sipping a coffee. After his shower, he'd gone to his cabin and written to Shepard. A part of him was anxious about what he'd said, worried he'd either said too much or not enough.

But what really bothered him was everything he'd learned about Cerberus over the past two years. How far Cerberus had gone and the experiments they'd done on their own people. He still couldn't accept or believe that bringing someone back from death was possible. How could she be Shepard? Unless she hadn't died and had been in a coma. The thought that she really was Shepard and not some clone or highly sophisticated A.I. was hard to believe.

Standing, he finished his coffee, replacing the cup in the sink and headed for the bridge. Whoever or whatever Shepard was didn't matter. He would never join her while she was with Cerberus. Even if she left them, he wasn't sure he could trust her again.

He had never believed Shepard could be capable of betraying him the way she had. It made him question his judgment, even as his heart begged him to ask her forgiveness. But he couldn't do that. She'd made no attempt to contact him and when she'd seen him on Horizon, she had acted as though he'd meant nothing to her. Clenching his jaw as tears brimmed in his eyes, he let out a heavy sigh. No more. He'd apologized for his behaviour. He didn't owe her anything else.

"Commander?" Tanner looked up as Kaidan entered the cockpit. "Everything all right?"

"Fine, Lieutenant. Sorry for what happened back on Omega. Aria was playing games and I let her get to me. She told me she didn't know anything about the Collectors, but was looking into it."

"Where to now sir?" Tanner asked.

"Back to the Citadel. I need to report to Anderson and turn in those samples I found on Freedom's Progress."

"Aye, aye." Tanner said, punching in the flight path.

Milky Way/Terminus Systems/SSV Normandy SR-2

Her mind swimming with the long list of missions she'd accumulated, Callie retreated to her cabin. Collapsing onto her couch, her thoughts drifted to Kaidan's letter and felt her chest constrict. Dammit, she needed to reach him, tell him she was sorry. It felt as though everything was conspiring against her to keep her from him. She felt trapped by Cerberus, the Collectors, the Reapers  - even her own reputation.

So many people counted on her to save and protect them or help them in some way. But where was her help? It was as though everyone thought she was invincible and couldn't be hurt, which only made her miss Kaidan more. He'd been her anchor, her soft place to land and he wasn't there. The pain of his absence was so strong, she was surprised she was still able to breathe.

Standing, her eyes landed on the empty aquarium. Right. She needed fish and a pet. Maybe it would help. At least she'd have something to talk to, she thought wryly. Her mind made up she ordered Joker to take them to the Citadel and headed for the crew deck.

----xxx----

"Shepard." Thane greeted her. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon."

"I wanted to let you know we're on our way to the Citadel."

"Join me Shepard." He said, offering her a chair. "I have spent the past ten years alone, believing it was my fate to die alone. Then I met you and soon I will see my son. I hadn't anticipated what that would mean to me. I believed my future was set, yet it seems the universe has other plans."

"You mentioned before that you were dying. Is there anything I can do?"

"Your concern for me is as welcome as it is unexpected. I have spent my life taking the lives of others. Does this not bother you?"