The Maze Runner Imagines

Newt's Secret//Newt

WARNING: Suicide mention/theme. And character spoilers if you have not read ALL of The Maze Runner series (excluding the prequels). 

Prompt: Y/N pleads with Newt to let her become a Runner, she knows she can do well at it, but it's been an argument between the both of them for a while now. However, this time round, Newt lets something slip that he was never going to tell her...

"Okay, Y/N." Newt says as he strides towards you, "What do you want to talk about?" Even though these are the words that come from his mouth, you are 98% sure he already knows what you want to talk about. Let's just say that it is not the first time you've both argued.

"I want to be a Runner."

Newt sighs, his eyes turn dark. "We've already had this discussion."

You shake your head, "Discussion? You call that a discussion!? You screamed at me and I screamed back and then we threw chairs at each other, turned tables over! That was not a discussion." You feel the anger bubbling beneath the surface, Newt always makes you angry and you haven't a clue why.

"It's not my fault you have anger management issues!" He raises his voice, and you're suddenly glad that you two are in the middle of the "forest" instead of in front of every Glader in the Glade like last time.

"This is pointless..."

"Glad you've finally come to that conclusion." Newt says.

"I –it's not fair Newt!" You cross your arms over your chest. "If you make me strive through one more day of being a Cook, I will seriously maim you!" You've never threatened anyone before, and you realize this was a poor go at it.

"Seriously maim me?" He laughs, "Just slim it." He starts to walk off but you latch your hand onto his wrist, pulling him back.

"Then just tell me: tell me why I can't be a Runner? Am I not good enough? Is that it?"

His brown eyes turn dull, like the life was sucked out of them. "The Maze... I just don't want you to go through what I did." And as soon as he says that, his eyes widen. He let something slip that he wasn't meant to.

"You were a Runner?" This is news to you.

"I –no. I mean, well, yes I was but-

"You were a Runner and you didn't say anything? Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not bloody obliged to tell your shuck-face everything that happens to me, Y/N!"

You take a step back. "Yes, yes you are Newt. That's what two people who put their trust into each other do. That's what two people who love each other do!" You shout, why is he so... so hard? And cold. Distant. If he kept being a Runner from you then what else has he not told you?

"Being a Runner is in the past! I didn't want to bloody bring it up again and again with every single shuck Greenie in this damn Glade!"

"I am not just another "shuck Greenie." I have been here for six months! Besides, we both know that I am more than just another Glader to you! " Your heart aches, your stomach is filled with nausea. "Does this mean you weren't ever going to tell me? Ever?"

Panic shoots across his eyes, "I... I wasn't going to tell you."

"So being a Runner caused that limp then, huh?" You challenge, "It wasn't just an injury you came in with." He lied to you about that too.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?" You raise your arms in a frustrated manner, "Keeping something else from me!?"

Newt's eyes become glossy from tears. A few spill down the sides of his face and he bows his head, embarrassed. "I hate this place, Y/N." His voice is soft, gentle. His anger disappears as if it was never there in the first place.

You enclose Newt into your arms, you hate it when he cries. His head leans against your shoulder. One of your hands holds the back of his head and the other snakes around his back. You feel like you should say something, anything. But nothing comes to your mind, you only hope that he keeps talking.

"Having my memory wiped and being thrown into this shuck-place took more of a toll on me than the rest of the Gladers." His voice is shaky. "I got this limp from throwing myself off one of the Maze Walls."

Your heart stops. You never would have guessed that Newt tried to kill himself, you never even considered it. You're not angry, you're not hurt. You just want to take Newt away from this place and keep him by your side, you want to protect his gentle soul from the harshness of reality. But it looks like you may be too late for that. "Newt... Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was scared. I thought you were going to think I was weak." His body racks with sobs and I pull him closer, hug him tighter. So tight it's as if he might float away if I don't.

"No, no, no." You lift his head and have his teary-red-eyes on your eyes. "I do not think you're weak at all." You shake your head, "I'm so bloody glad you ended up with a limp though and not a cracked head."

"I don't want you to become a Runner because... I'm scared you'll become less you. That once you see the Maze as it really is, you'll change. The happiness in you will leave, that you'll hate this place as much as I do. I don't want you to go through what I did-

"I promise you that I won't." You feel tears from your own eyes spill. "How could I hate this place when I have you to look forward too?" You give him a weak smile and he smiles back. "Newt, I love you so, so, so much. You have to know that, okay? And if you hate this place as much as you say you do then that only makes me want to be a Runner even more. You want to know why?" You pause, "Because I want to find a way out of here for you. I want you to be happy."

Newt gingerly cups your face into his hands, his former dull eyes starting to color. "I'm already happy." He says as he places his delicate lips against yours.

You're happy too.