Don't break me| phan

Ch. 1

Dan

des·pair·ing
dəˈsperiNG/
showing the loss of all hope.

Dan has lost all hope, he feels hopeless. No. He knows he's hopeless. He feels broken beyond repair. The despairing feeling in his chest is always there and he knows that no one cares, so why should he care? Christ, his own parents don't even care about him.

"Faggot!" His drunken father snarls, making Dan flench at his harsh voice. Dan can't even remember what he had done, his father just stumbled into his room and started yelling at him. This is a normal routine. "Go kill yourself! Nobody would miss you." He hears the twisted laugh fall out of his fathers mouth. All of a sudden, dan feels a stinging sensation on his cheek. he shuts his eyes, holding the tears in. He feels the sting on his cheek again.. And again, and again, for what seems like hours, his father finally leaves, slamming his door on the way out. Dan hugs his knees and shakes violently, he refuses to cry. He refuses to let his weakness overpower him, although his sanity is slowly fading away.

Dan sighs and stares at his ceiling like its the most interesting thing in the world. He forces himself out of the comfortable sheets he was once laying on, and walks to the bathroom (which was thankfully right beside his room.)

He chews at his bottom lip and looks up at himself in the mirror. He once liked what he saw if he was being honest. He used to be confident. Not cocky and braggy, just confident and liked himself. A few months after his mother died, and his father showed his true colors was when his confidence got shattered.

His beautiful, dark brown eyes that had once been piercing, now stared back lifelessly and dull. He's is naturally lanky, but it's quiet obvious that he has lost weight since his mother has passed. His collar bones perfectly carved and his hip bones sticks out way more then he would like them to.

He sighs to himself once again and pulls a baggy sweater over his petite body to cover himself, as well as a pair of jeans. His hair is natural curly, or as he likes to call it, hobbit hair. In his opinion, it's not cute at all so he usually straightens it before he goes to school, so he does just that.

He looks at himself in the mirror once again and gives a sideways smile at himself.

'At Least you looks half decent now' he thinks to himself. He mentally prepares himself to walk out of his room.

As slowly as possible, he walks out of his room. The rusty floorboard creak which causes him to cringe.

"Be quiet for my sake" he thinks quietly to himself.

Biting down harshly on his bottom lip he walks into the living room only to find his dad passed out on the couch the beer bottles scattered around him.

Dan lets out a sigh of relief and instantly feels more relaxed now that he knows his dad is passed out cold. Wouldn't that worry any other person?

He quietly walks out the front door, not even bothering to eat breakfast, his stomach to twisted and sick to even be hungry. As if the door was a delicate porcelain doll, he shuts it as gently as possible. And with that, he pops earplugs in his ears, and keeps his head held low with his hands buried inside his pockets.

Are you insane like me?
been in pain like me?
Bought a hundred dollar bottle of Champagne like me?