The Exchange Program

Rehearsal

Rehearsal went well. Granted, Toki was still nervous, but he didn't mess up like he thought he would. Skwisgaar's words really made him feel better, as well as the encouraging smiles he'd occasionally flash his way. However, he was still worried that the older man thought that he was strange for reacting so much to a gentle clap on the back. So far, Skwisgaar hadn't brought it up. But, he thought he caught the older man eyeing at him after practice. He avoided his gaze and focused on playing some of the music for other songs that he wasn't that familiar with.

A hand on his arm made him flinch and he looked up to see Skwisgaar staring down at him. The same concern from yesterday flitting through his eyes.

"How are you doing with the music?"

"It's good so far."

Toki offered him a shy smile, aware the others were giving them weird looks. He received a slight smile in return, but the hints of concern were there. He wondered if Skwisgaar was going to ask about yesterday, but he didn't say anything else. Toki became all too aware that Skwisgaar's hand was still on his arm. He looked at the hand and then to the older man, trying not to blush. Skwisgaar smiled knowingly at him and slowly let his hand drop back down to his side.

Toki averted his eyes and tried to focus on his guitar, when Skwisgaar finally asked the dreaded question.

"You flinched away from me twice. Why?"

He didn't want to answer. He didn't want him to know. The rest of his bandmates were leaving the garage. He waited until it was just the two of them, but he still hesitated.

"I don't know."

Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow at that.

"You don't know?"

Toki nodded. Skwisgaar's blue eyes flickered to his shirt.

"I think you do. I don't think you'd just flinch for no reason."

Toki didn't respond for a second, maybe trying to figure out just what he said. He didn't know Swedish all that much. He had to pick out similarities between it and his native language.

"Fine.. I know. I just don't want to tell you."

"Why not? I won't judge you. You have nothing to be afraid of."

Toki frowned. Of course he was able to say that. He didn't truly know what was so bad. He couldn't possibly know.

"So, what is it? Tell me."

It really would be easier to show him. And, it was really hot out. His filthy, old shirt was practically clinging to him with the help of all the sweat. He let out a sigh before reluctantly taking off his shirt.

"What are you doing-"

Skwisgaar cut himself off when his eyes laid on the crisscrossing scars on Toki's back. Horror and shock were showing clearly in his eyes and Toki averted his gaze to the dirty floor of the garage.

"Toki.. what.. What happened to you? Who did this?"

He refused to look at him and didn't dare to respond. He felt Skwisgaar's fingers gently brush the scars on his back and he couldn't help but jerk away. He finally looked at the blonde who still had his hand out. The hand seemed more like a gesture. Almost saying "I won't hurt you." He was looking at him. Concern, horror, and shock all showing in those blue eyes. It was almost like Skwisgaar was looking at a wounded animal rather than a person. And, Toki hated it.

"It's not important."

He didn't think he'd let it go. Not really. But, it was worth a shot, right? Maybe he'd drop it and even agree with him. After all, there was nothing he could do about it and it wasn't his business. But, he didn't agree. He almost looked aghast at his statement alone.

"Not important? Toki.. Look at you."

That struck a nerve. Look at him? He was aware of his ugly mangled scars. No one else should have them. As far as he knew, no one else had scars like him.

"I deserved them. I was a bad kid."

"A bad kid? Toki, no one deserves any punishment like that. Did your parents do this to you? Why would they do this?"

Toki knew little about Skwisgaar's family. He knew that he had a mother in Sweden and was glad to get away from her. He didn't talk fondly of his mother. He had heard from Nathan that she had been very promiscuous and that Skwisgaar didn't want anything to do with her. But, that was all that he knew about the older man's origins. Toki grabbed his shirt and put it back on.

"I said it wasn't important."

He proceeded to walk out of the garage and left it at that.