Darker Than Death || CaptainSwan

Chapter 5

I ran into my apartment and slammed the door shut behind me. I held my hand over my mouth as tears threaten to fall.

Slowly, I put my back to the door and slide down it. I begin to hyperventilate.

Of course. Of course something like this happens to me. Sometimes it feels as if the world is against me. Like nothing in my life is even supposed to go right.

No one wants me. No one cares about me. So why the hell am I here?

I close my eyes and try to block out the pounding in my head and all the voices screaming at me. But sadly, it doesn't stop. The pain continues and it most likely forever will continue.

Why do I have to over react about everything. This shouldn't even matter. I had a crush on him when I was 16 years old. I'm 21! I should be over him by now. So why aren't I? Why do I continue to fucking sit here and cry about him like a teenager that has just had her heart broken.

But why doesn't he like me.. Am I not good enough for him? Not pretty enough? Not skinny enough? What is it? I just don't understand why no one seems to like me. Maybe I try too hard..

Before I know it, my breathing evens out and I fall asleep; my back still against the wall. And soon enough, I am finally at peace. Sleep. Where it seems like you're dead for just 8 hours. God how I wish I could sleep forever. To just die.

•••

Slowly, my eyes flutter open and instantly, all my memories of last nights evens flood back into my head. My lip begins the quiver as I feel the tears wanting to fall but I bite my lip so I'll stop. But I end up biting it so hard that it behind to bleed.

Shit.

I groaned in annoyance before standing up. My back and neck and — well, everything, hurt. Sleeping on the floor probably wasn't the best idea..

I walked into my little kitchen and I grabbed a paper towel and wet. I then dabbed the paper towel on my bleeding lip.

When I looked at the clock, my eyes went wide. I'm late to work again! James is going to fucking kill me!

Quickly, I ran into my room and got dressed into my work clothes. I ran into my bathroom and looked at myself. Ugh. I look like a mess! My make up is smeared and my hair is all over the place. as quick as I could, I brushed my hair, did my make up and brushed my teeth, not having time to take a shower.

I grabbed my purse before I ran out the door of my apartment and began making my way towards work.

I made it there in a record time; 4 minutes! Basically because I practically ran there but you know..whatever. I shoved the doors open, breathing heavily and went into the back to find James.

He looked at me with a pissed off face. "You were late, again!" He spat at me.

Ok, how the hell does he manage to look perfectly fine and normal even though he was drunk last night? I guess I'll never know. "Look, I'm sure you should be able to understand.. Last night I broke down — as you saw — so I completely forgot so set my alarm and-" I began rambling before he cut me off.

"Shut up, Emma," he said, or, basically yelled. "I am sick and tired of you always being late. I am done with all of the excuses. I should just fire you, right now!" James shouts at me.