Emotions

Chapter 3

**Dedicated to moyoninuoluwa**

Wednesday morning was awful. She had started the night turning and tossing as she stared into the darkness.

She later ended up spending the night staring at the television screen and thinking about her pathetic life.

She eventually gave up and got up from bed after trying to sleep to no avail.

Her mind once again wondered to the job interview she had had earlier and the handsome man.

She had pretended not to be affected as he stared at her but she was.

She forced him out of her thoughts and tried to focus on other thoughts.

She had such high hopes for the job.

She really needed money and she had no one here except Amelia.

Ever since she left home she had stopped contacting her family members and friends.

Not because they didn't want to see her but she had been too ashamed to face them after what happened.

The fact that they kept calling her and trying to convince her to go back home made her to change her number.

God she missed them so damn much.She really did miss them even if she hated to acknowledge it.

If only she could take back the hand of time, she would make sure she listens to them and never make a mistake which would cost her her happiness.

Well it was too late now and there was no use crying over spilled milk.

She needed the job. She needed a job.

But for the next three days,she'd have to find a temporary job.

She'd probably settle for babysitting the neighbours.

She cringed at the thought of that.

The children were really sweet and all but only when their parents were around. 

And that meant when she had to deal with total nightmares each time.

The last time she babysitted them, she had left them for twenty minutes to get lunch, and they painted half of the walls in their room black.

And the damn floor.

The floor.

She was livid and had ended up tumbling down the stairs when she had tried to chase them.

She was really pissed off when she didn't receive her payment because of "damage control".

She felt it was really unfair but there was nothing she could do about it.

And she didn't really want to be anywhere near children after what happened.

It made her sad and depressed each time a kid did something which reminded her of her own little angel.

She couldn't help but to wonder what he would have grown up to be like.

She really did miss him and could only hope her mother was watching over him and giving him her personal favorite flower all the time like she had told her to.

Each time she saw a mother or a father in the park with their children she'd get so emotional and remember her family and how she didn't even get to tell her family goodbye.

Not even her sister.

She had just gotten the idea randomly at night and she had acted on it.

No time to rethink it and she now she  regretted her every actions but she knew it was for the best.

She had caused so much pain and disgrace and she couldn't bare to watch her family suffer when she was the very cause of it.

When morning eventually came, she was fast asleep. She had fallen asleep on the couch in the most uncomfortable position ever. As she stood,she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and sat back down quickly as she groaned.

The wound never did heal completely. She stood up carefully and made her way to her room in small steps.

She looked at herself in the mirror and almost didn't recognize herself. She looked tired. Her eyes were sunken and her hair was tangled. Her face looked really pale and the face she had once considered beautiful seemed to have disappeared.

She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. Her hair felt dry in her hands probably from lack of care.

She went to the bathroom that she shared with Amelia, brushed her teeth ,had her bath and changed into a fresh pair of clothing.

The smell of something nice hit her nose and she quickly made her way to the kitchen where she met her roommate cooking. She smiled at her as she settled down on a stool behind the kitchen counter.

"Hey" Amelia said. "How was your night" she asked casting a sideward glance at her.

"Could have been better"

Amelia nodded understandingly and went back to her cooking.

She was really grateful when Amelia cooked on days that she felt really tired.

They fell into a confortable silence and Amelia pushed a plate of eggs,bacon and toast to her and she inhaled the aroma of the food and closed her eyes.

She waited for Amelia to clean up and join her before she started eating.

They didn't talk much as they ate and she looked up to see Amelia smiling at her phone her breakfast forgotten.

She felt a pang in her chest as she remembered her family. Back home, no gadgets were allowed at the table.

They always talked about stuff both important and irrelevant.
The table was rarely ever quiet. They always had something to say.

She shook her head as if to get rid of her thoughts as she stood up to wash her dishes.

She returned to her room where she spent the rest of the day on her bed.

This is just a filler chapter and things are going to get better.
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Love ,
Nikki💕