Assassin

sacrifices - khai

I rolled over in Odell's bed trying to ignore the constant buzzing and ringing going off beside me. It suddenly stopped and a false sense of satisfaction washed over me before it immediately started all over again. The brightness of the screen illuminated the ceiling above me and Odell.

"Pick up the fucking phone Khai." Odell mumbled next to me. He was wrapped comfortably under his covers with his eyes focused intently on me. "I swear to god I hear that shit ring again I'm kicking your ass out." His voice was low and scratchy.

I huffed and snatched the phone off the bed next to me. I had about 15 texts from Domo telling me to pick up my phone and 6 missed calls from her. I swiped my screen and called her back, agitated that she was blowing my phone up like this at damn near 2 in the morning. I had to go into the boutique early for inventory, I needed all my beauty rest. "Bitch you better have a good reason to be ringing my line like a debt collector." Odell shifted around on his side of the bed, I could still feel him looking even with my back turned to him.

—

Four of us sat in silence in Odell's living room. Dominique had just finished recounting what happened when she walked in our apartment. Odell was sitting with his face buried in his hands. Some white boy that brought Domo over looked like he didn't know whether he should be excited he was in Odell's house meeting him or if he should just sit there and quietly supporting Domo while she cried her eyes out. I rocked back and forth across from Odell, my heart racing and beating through my chest.

"Katrina, we gotta get you away from here." I looked up at Dominique. Anytime she called me by my government, I knew it was serious business. "Katrina I love you like you're my sister and I've been here for you through some really tough shit but you have to get out of here."

I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I didn't want to leave though. Leaving would be leaving behind things that were extremely important to me. Leaving would mean worrying that my friends still wouldn't be safe because knowing Travis, he'd do any and everything to have his way. I understood everyone's fear but I couldn't let their fear run me away without knowing for certain they were safe too. "You know it's not that easy Dominique." My tone was solemn and dry. "Travis is not gonna stop just because I disappeared. If anything, it's only gonna make him angrier and he'll take it out on you guys." I looked between Odell and Domo. "I get it, you guys want me to be safe but if I can't make sure you are too I'm not leaving."

I heard Odell suck his teeth and groan. "Khai, you gotta be fucking kidding me?!" I'd never seen him this angry. He didn't look like the Odell I'd been hanging around the last year and some change. This was a different guy. "This nigga is threatening to kill you and breaking into your house leaving cryptic ass notes and you not tryna leave 'cause you wanna know we'll be okay?" He was now standing up pacing in a small space in front of his television. "You gotta be the dumbest person I know."

I would have taken offense to his words if he wasn't somewhat right. I was pretty dumb. Dumb enough to get situated with a man like Travis after seeing the kind of guy he was, dumb for allowing him to treat me the way he did for as long as he did, and especially dumb for thinking just because I broke it off with him that would be the end of the pain and suffering he'd caused. I just sobbed quietly to myself and threw my face into one of the pillows on the couch. "Odell chill out. This is a lot for all of us but you can't just snap on her." Dominique came to my rescue, immediately switching her spot from next to, I think his name was Brett, to me. "We're all stressed right now. We want her safe, she wants us safe. We just have to come to a mutual agreement."

I heard Odell's footsteps race up the stairs. I just continued to cry in Dominique's lap until the tears just wouldn't come anymore. "I don't want him to hurt you guys trying to get to me." My throat was scratchy and my voice squeaked in and out with every forced word.

"Brett, can we have a moment?" He nodded slowly and just got up, walking up the stairs to follow Odell I'm assuming. "Khai, I know you're worried about us as much as we're worried about you but baby girl we'll be okay." She stroked my hair and smiled at me even though both our eyes were puffy from all the crying we'd been doing. "And Odell is worried about you too. You know how much he cares about you, I swear I think that boy loves you so he just wants to make sure you're safe." I forced out a short chortle. I didn't feel much like joking but Domo alway knew how to get at least a little something out of me.

"But it's not as easy as get the hell out of dodge and pray you guys are safe. I know you won't be. Travis is absolutely ruthless and you know that." I sat up, crossing my legs and hugging a pillow fight to my chest.

"Well shit, it's a sacrifice that you, me, and Odell has to make. Ain't nobody winning right now until we get that psycho behind bars somewhere." Dominique tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled as wide as she could. "It's the only thing we can do right now babe."

"I know." I admitted reluctantly. I knew they were right.

—

The sun was barely rising in the sky as I slipped my olive green maxi dress over my body, opting to throw on a champagne colored bomber to cover my bare shoulders. After last night, Dominique and I slept in the same bed together. I needed to give Odell his space after his blow up. He came back down a little later and apologized but the damage had been done.

I walked into his bedroom to see him sleeping peacefully, his mouth slightly ajar as he hugged his pillow tight under his head, his bleached curls all over the place. I smiled and grabbed my shoes from by his nightstand, slipping out of the room silently.

"I'm really sorry about my outburst Khai. I just worry about you a lot." His voice was flat and disembodied. I turned and looked over my shoulder, he was leaning against the doorframe, his eyes red and puffy still. "Do me a favor really quick Khai." I nodded and turned to face him completely. "Come here please?"

I walked up slowly, a little confused at what he was wanting. His hands snaked around my waist as he pulled me into him closely. His bare chest slowly rose and fell with each deep breath he took. "What Odell?" I looked up.

With no warning, he was pressing his lips against mine. His big hands found there way to my ass as he lifted me off the ground and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Let me have one for the road." By now, the way he was holding me I was sitting a little higher up than him.

"I'm not going anywhere." I argued confused.

"I talked to some people last night, I'm getting you and Domo out of here tonight. I want y'all safe and I just need this one more time before you go." He slowly let me down, pulling me back towards his bed.

I didn't argue, I didn't fuss. I just let him get what he wanted. And for the first time in what felt like years, it seemed like I was making love instead of just fucking. And for the first time in years I was truly satisfied.